Two Birds, A Different Feather
by LiveToLie
Summary: Hope left to someday come back as someone worthy of her mature eyes. Lighting tried to find love after the war against the fal'Cie, but every relationship ended in heartbreak, so she gave up. Now Hope is back, but was six years too long? Do they even know how to love anymore? Such things have a way of bursting in against all odds however, and come from the least expected places.
1. Prologue

**Two Birds, A Different Feather**

_"If it's **love**_  
_And we decide that it's forever_  
_No one else could do it better_  
_If it's **love**_  
_And we're **two** **birds** of a **feather**_  
_Then the rest is just whenever_  
_And if I'm addicted to **loving** you_  
_And you're addicted to my **love** too_  
_We can be them **two birds** of a **feather**_  
_**That flock together**"_

_**If It's Love - Train **_

**Prologue**

He wasn't a child.

At least, he didn't want to be. Not anymore. But he wasn't capable of fast-forwarding through time. And no one else was either. That was why he had to do this, had to go. Because he couldn't stand to see her anymore, not in the pathetic state he was in. She was so gallant, so strong, and so brave. He couldn't compare, not in a long shot, not as far as everyone else was concerned.

No, when people saw him, all they could see was a boy. Despite how he'd helped, and how powerful he was, none took him seriously. Not even his family, his friends, could see past his age. They were all out doing their jobs, helping to rebuild civilization on Pulse, and he was constantly being pushed aside.

_Go be a kid. _

_ Why don't you hang out with kids your age?_

_ Don't worry about it, someone as young as you shouldn't be concerned. _

_ You did what you had to and now it's time to be a kid again._

He didn't want to be a kid! He'd just turned fifteen, it'd been almost a year since they'd completed their l'Cie work, and still he hadn't been allowed to do anything. He had the fighting skills, he was better than most of the soldiers in the Guardian Core and the army. He still had his magic and his Eidolon. He still had it all; he could be of use, yet he was constantly and repeatedly being rejected.

All because he was a "kid."

He wasn't… He'd seen and done things none of the other teenagers could even imagine. He couldn't relate to them. But no one he wanted to relate to would give him a chance.

Not even _her_…

She'd said once that they were partners, but that had only lasted as long as she'd had to put up with him. As soon as their l'Cie duties had ended, the whole idea had gone from equals to adults and children. Suddenly, despite his efforts, she'd tried to push him back into the world he'd left behind. A world where teenagers weren't allowed to see reality because of its horrors. A world without her.

Well, not anymore. He knew that until he was older, she'd never view him as any more than a child. He had to make her see; there was no choice. It was too painful otherwise, constantly being left behind. He had to disappear and come back as someone new.

At first, his feelings for her _had_ been immature. He'd revered her, and wanted to learn from her. He'd wanted to be everything that she was. But as they'd journeyed together, him and all those "adults," he'd begun to learn. To see what real emotions were. Despite everyone's assumptions, he did understand. He knew what real love was like, and the agony it could cause. There had been nights when he'd seen Vanille and Fang beneath the moonlight, held in each other's arms with an air of accepted defeat around them. As if, despite their attempts to fight their Focus, they'd known, in the end, that their lives as they knew them would be over one way or another.

He'd seen Sazh, standing beside the water, looking out as if he saw something. His dead wife or his forsaken son. Loss, that was what Hope had seen in Sazh. He'd fought on through it all, but always seemed empty. When they'd all been together, Sazh had been their wisdom, their caution, but when he was alone, he'd been vacant.

Snow… Snow had sat alone in the dark with Serah's tear and he'd… he'd cried. Never out in the open, but Hope had seen him. A silent observer, he'd seen the power of love that had been ripped apart. Despair, that was what it was. And it was currently how he was feeling. Snow's life distanced from Serah had been nearly unbearable for him, the thought of being with her again the only thing pushing him onward.

That was what Hope thought of now. That maybe if he pressed forward, became a man that she could finally see, then perhaps this agony would be over. That he could cure his own pain and her loneliness.

Because that was what he'd seen in her. And in himself too. On those nights they'd spent alone on Pulse, where the threat of the fal'Cie had seemed to loom above their heads, yet was at the same time been far, far away, he'd gone to her side, to try and ease both their afflictions. For a while, during their journey, it had worked. When he was with her, she'd lose that aching isolation in her clear blue eyes. And when he'd been with her, he'd felt his own heart relax, the mental tension fading away.

She'd become everything to him. His partner, his peer, his friend. His family. Yet, at some point, he'd realized he'd wanted more. And the thought had been so ludicrous that he'd banished it whenever it'd come up.

She was seven years older than him. There was no way, when he was just a child, that she'd ever consider being with him. And it hurt, this knowledge, no matter how hard he pushed it away. It always came creeping back, stabbing him every time the realization of the impossibility reared its ugly head.

When she'd tell him to hang out with kids his own age.

When she'd leave without telling him where she was going.

When she'd gone back to work and not expressed to him a single feeling about it.

Because now that they were back in the real world, he couldn't possibly understand. He couldn't take the stress of their adult lives.

Well, it was too late for that. He'd been forced to grow up, even if none of them could see it, and he wasn't going to stand around with a bunch of teenagers his own age and pretend to act like he understood their simple mentalities. He couldn't, not anymore.

He had to move on, to go and do something worth his while. And when he came back, just as grown-up _looking_ as the rest of them, they'd finally see him for who he truly was. But until then, he wasn't going to be ignored and isolated.

He didn't want to leave her, to leave his family or his father, but he didn't have a choice. He couldn't stand the rejection anymore. To see her eyes look down at him and not really see who he was. Once, she hadn't been blind, none of them had been, but relief, and happiness, and peace, it'd spread ignorance in the way of their stares.

He wouldn't stand for it any longer.

The people of Cocoon had had trouble adapting to Pulse at first, but over the last year, things had slowly progressed. Now soldiers and volunteers were being called in and dispatched. Some to protect different colonies, to defeat the raging monsters, and others on surveying missions.

This was where Hope was going. Technically, he wasn't old enough. Eighteen was the legal age to volunteer, but he'd managed to create a fake ID. He knew he didn't look eighteen, not yet, but his combat skills hadn't been something the recruiters could pass up. Why? Because anyone that could fight like he could had been accepted elsewhere. Surveying was the most dangerous and least desired job. They scouted into uncharted areas and created maps, looked for different types of agriculture and resources, everything. One of the most important jobs, but no one wanted to do it. That was why those who were desperate for some kind of compensation, those who hadn't had the money to live well in a colony, joined up. Because they had no other choice.

So Hope was a godsend to them. He could fight, he knew monsters and how to take them down, and he knew how to survive on Pulse. The only thing he hadn't used to his advantage was the fact that he'd been l'Cie. If he had, then it wouldn't have been long before his friends had come and found him.

He went under a secret guise, the name Thunder Sorrow. It was obviously fake, but he'd been inspired and his recruiters hadn't dared question. Files were kept so poorly that no one would know who he was or where to find him. He'd be gone, vanished, and that was exactly what he wanted.

He'd left a short note for his father, explaining where he'd gone, but he'd be too far away by the time he got it. There was no going back now, not until he was worthy, was an adult.

Then he'd come for her. He'd be a man she could see, no longer a child.

For her.

For Light.

**oOo**

"Hope!" Bartholomew furrowed his eyebrows as he yelled his son's name for the fourth time. Generally, as one of the Head Leader's of the colony they lived in, he was gone before his son was even up, so he hadn't bothered to check in on him before he'd gone to work. Later that day however, around two, he'd gotten a call from the school Hope was attending, the secretary explaining that he hadn't shown up.

Well, Hope was responsible, so he must have been sick or something. At least, that was what Bartholomew assumed. That was why, now that he was home, he was searching their small home for him. Somewhat irritated now that he wasn't getting a response, he huffed before making his way up the narrow set of stairs to the boy's room.

"Hope!" he yelled again, knocking on his son's bedroom door. Still there was nothing however and, finally tiring of the chase, Bartholomew twisted the knob and pushed his way in through the door. Glancing around quickly, ready to give his son a piece of his mind, he was somewhat surprised when the room was empty.

Hope wasn't in the house?

Somewhat concerned now, Bartholomew furrowed his eyebrows and looked around the room again. This time however, looking more closely, he noticed the sheet of paper lying on the bed.

A note.

Shaking his head, Bartholomew quickly went to retrieve it. Picking it up, he read the words, which seemed to sink into his brain at an exceptionally slow rate.

_Dear Dad,_

_ I apologize for doing this to you, especially after everything I've already put you through, but I have to go. I've joined the Survey Core and left last night. Don't bother looking for me, you won't find me. I love you and don't worry, everything will be fine. _

_ I'll be back someday. _

_ Sincerely, _

_ Hope_

Bartholomew didn't know how many times he ready the note before finally dropping it back to the bed. Gulping, he turned and flew from the room. Clamoring down the stairs, he ran to the phone and called the first number that came to mind.

It rang and he cursed when someone didn't pick up right away.

"_Hello?_"

"Sazh!" he breathed a sigh of relief.

"_Bartholomew?_" he sounded curious. "_Somethin' up?_" Generally, the older man didn't make a habit of calling Hope's friends, whether they were his age or not. Or if he did have to speak with them, it was always his son that had called, not him.

"Yes," he verified breathlessly. "I need you to tell me something. Have the airships that were carrying out the Survey Core left yet?" Somehow, he dared to wish that they hadn't. If they'd been postponed, something, then he could go fetch Hope and put an end to this foolishness.

"_Uh, well, yeah_," Sazh replied uncertainly. He was a pilot, so he'd be aware of the major departures from the airship dock. "_They left last night. All forty of them. They're long gone._"

Bartholomew swore, no doubt taking Sazh aback. "How many volunteers were there? How many left?" Perhaps he couldn't go and get Hope himself, but if he could find him among the others…

"_Oh I dunno_," Sazh replied thoughtfully. "_This is their first really organized deployment. So I'd say about… forty thousand? Yeah, cuz I think each ship holds a thousand._" Forty thousand? Bartholomew felt his insides sinking. How was he supposed to find his son among forty thousand men and women? He'd _have_ to go hunt him down himself because those in the Survey Core lost communication abilities where they went. "_Why?_" Sazh continued. "_What's up?_"

"It's Hope," Bartholomew explained, feeling more and more helpless by the second. "He… he left a note. He joined the Survey Core. He's gone." Leaning his head against the wall, Bartholomew clamped his eyes shut, trying to think of something, anything, that he could do.

"_Wh-what?_" Sazh gasped on the other line. "_He ran away? But why?_" Bartholomew didn't answer, just shook his head to himself. He had no idea. He'd thought Hope was happy. He'd been safe, going to school. Back to the teenager he'd been before… _everything_ had happened.

What had the father missed?

"_Well, we can't sit around and not do anything!_" Sazh stated, determined. "_We'll find him Bartholomew, just you wait. And we'll give him a good talking to on the way back from whatever backwater place he's ended up in._" Bartholomew allowed a bitter smile to stretch across his lips. Sazh's words relieved him a little, but he wouldn't ever be at ease until his son was back home.

The Survey Core was the most dangerous branch of the military there was. Many didn't come back, and even those that did couldn't do so for six years.

Why? Why had Hope done this?

"_I'll get Snow and Serah, and Lighting, and we'll find him,_" Sazh concluded.

"Alright," Bartholomew accepted. "Please find him. Please bring my son back." He hung up the phone. Walking across the house, he eventually found himself at the kitchen table. Trembling, he placed himself in one of the chairs. Staring forward, he waited.

He went to work. And he waited.

Weeks went by and they all began to wait. Because no one had found him.

Months, years…

Waiting.


	2. Chapter 1: Finding You

**Two Birds, A Different Feather**

"_**Stripped**__ to the waist__  
__We fall into the river__  
__**Cover**__ your __**eyes**__  
__So you don't know the __**secret**__  
__I've been trying to __**hide**__  
__We held our breath__  
__To see our __**names**__ are written__  
__On the wreck of '86__  
__That was the year__  
__I knew the __**panic**__ was __**over**_

_Yes since we found out__  
__Since we found out__  
__That __**anything**__ could happen"__  
_

_**Anything Could Happen – Ellie Goulding**_

**Chapter 1: Finding You**

"_Now, if I were you, I'd drop down right in the middle of them, really take them by surprise!_" Lightning rolled her eyes. Crouched and balanced on the edge of the airship, she felt the wind whipping by her, the night sky above covered in clouds and providing rather good camouflage.

"Well, Snow, I'm not you," she replied through her com. "And I'm not going to just drop down right in the middle of them. They're monsters, not people. Surprise won't exactly do anything." Wearing her tech glasses, which gave her numbers and stats on the creatures below as well as the ability to zoom in, she narrowed her eyes, eventually coming to a plan of action.

"_Well, that's what I'd do…_" Snow defended lamely.

"_Didn't we already establish that she's not you?_" Sazh added temperamentally, Lightning shaking her head as she listened patiently to their arguing. It was a pretty regular occurrence, so it hardly distracted her.

"_Stop fighting!_" Besides, Serah always put a stop to it. "_Claire is about jump in there and the last thing she needs to hear is you two bickering in her ear!_" Silence followed her statement, which was generally the case when she put her foot down.

"Sazh," Lighting was back to business. "I'm going to land down over on top of that first roof," she focused her glasses on a flat, tin roof up to the right of the mob. "I'll go in from there. Hopefully I'll be able to take them out before they all realize I'm there."

"_Got it,_" Sazh replied and Lighting could almost envision him nodding from the pilot's seat. Her glasses were connected to one of the monitors in the ship as well, so they'd be able to track her progress the whole way.

"_And if you run into too much trouble,_" Snow interjected. "_I'll be down to help you._" She heard him slap his fist against his palm in her ears. Generally, Snow was her backup in combat situations. He was also on-ground transportation during certain missions and weapon's support, meaning he kept track of their armory and dealt with the same at the Guardian Core headquarters. Really, he did a little bit of everything. Sazh was Lightning's designated Pilot, and Serah was navigation as well as the go-between for the Core.

Lightning? She was the main force. Strength, stealth, a soldier and always first on the battlefield. Their team was the elite of the Guardian Core, partly due to the powers they'd been granted as l'Cie and partly because they just worked well together. They were sent in on the missions deemed dangerous and risky.

Where were they now? Far, far out into the Edge, or so the mountainous region had been labeled. Not much about it had been discovered as of yet, the Survey Core had just arrived six months before. And it was from them that they Guardian Core had received the distress call.

They'd made their colony around a small pool that produced freshwater. But approximately three days ago, a monster had erupted from the pool and dozens upon dozens of baby monsters with her. They weren't that small however and had started to ravage the colony, not seeming to want to leave. The surveyors had fled into the mountains, but they couldn't go without their supplies. They weren't leaving; they just wanted to be rid of the monsters.

And that was where Lightning and her team came in.

"I'm going to jump in approximately five," Lighting started.

"_Good luck Aunt Light!_"

"Thanks Dajh," Lightning replied. "Three, two-"

She jumped.

Straightening her body out, she started through the sky, the wind whipping by her face and pulling her skin back. She kept her mouth tightly clamped however, not at all unnerved as she sped faster and faster towards her designated roof. She'd done this so many times since she'd joined the Core that it was all just another day on the job.

Accelerating, she waited until she was about two-hundred meters from the roof before she snapped her fingers. She felt a static like energy form around her hand, zapping from one signal to another until the same anti-gravity mech was initiated at her feet.

Front flipping forward, she landed gracefully atop the roof, the dark purple energy twisting around and softening her landing.

"I'm on target," she muttered into the com in her ear before, crouching low, she dashed her way silently over the roof to the far end. There, poised and alert, she started to survey the situation once again. The creatures were everywhere, crawling all around the colony, but based on the intel they'd received from the surveyors, attack a few and they'd all become enraged and come. She just had to kill them before they overwhelmed her.

Thankful she was dressed in a tight, black suit with mask, used for operations such as this, she stood up a little higher to get a better look. Nothing she saw surprised her however and, reaching back to grab her gunblade, she bent down again, preparing herself to spring.

Muscles tightening, legs tensing, she started to confirm her actions into her com.

"_What the hell is that?_" Snow's voice interrupted her. "_Another airship?_" Glancing up, she quickly looked around, catching sight of the same thing Snow had. Zooming in with her glasses, she got a better look at it, watching as it descended from the clouds.

Like theirs, it was a stealth ship, though the model was different. Smaller. It hardly made any noise, coming closer and closer to the ground until it was about level with there own airship.

"Who is that?" Lightning asked quietly and sank back down atop the roof, waiting to make her move until they knew what was going on.

"_I'm trying to hail them right now,_" Serah explained. "_I'm not getting an answer though. The sensors are telling me that it's a Core ship, though the number isn't the same as the Guardian Core. It must be from another section of the military. I'll try to figure it out n-_"

"_Something just jumped off the side of that ship!_" Snow interrupted, Lighting having seen it as well. And she knew exactly what it was too. Like her, it was another person, this one headed straight down into the middle of the assembly of monsters. And much like she had, at about the two-hundred meter mark, she saw the telltale signs of a mech being initiated, this one a golden-yellow. It wasn't the same as hers. No, the power seemed to shift to the weapon they'd pulled out of a sheath on their back. She couldn't see exactly what it was, but when a shot rang out, she knew there must have been a gun attached one way or another.

The bullet flew forward, flashing amongst the monsters and producing a similar anti-gravity landing pad as hers, only this one was projectile. And the man that landed, because she'd been able to make out his physique in the moment of light, did so on a single hand, pushing himself back up with one arm before flipping forward and, gunblade raised, slashing down on some of the monsters below.

A frenzy broke out, the creatures screaming as they started to crowd in on the soldier.

"_I'm finally getting through!_" Serah announced, Lighting watching with narrowed eyes. At first, she'd considered that she better go help, that this man couldn't possibly be capable of handling this on his own. But he was doing quite well, vaulting and slashing through the beasts as they fled out into the open, screeching their rage at his actions.

"_So, who are they?_" Snow asked in irritation. "_Who the hell was given orders to butt in on a mission that the Guardian Core gave to-_"

"_We are not butting in,_" came a new voice, Lightning's ears twitching to listen as she watched the man before her take out one monster after another with little to no effort. "_We are the SES,_" the man continued. "_This is our problem to resolve, so we'd appreciate it if you'd extract your personnel and leave._"

"_The SES?_" Snow baulked, Lightning furrowing her eyebrows. Neither one of them recognized the term. "_I've never heard of you. And if I've-_"

"_We're a fairly new division,_" the man interrupted calmly, Snow growling. "_SES stands for Surveyor Elite Squad. We're with the Survey Core. Because of the threats to many of our personnel, it was agreed that we would designate certain teams to be trained and participate in missions just like this one. That way, none of _you_ have to get involved._"

The attitudes between the branches in the military could be tense sometimes.

"_A Survey Elite Squad?_" Snow sounded doubtful. "_No one in the Survey Squad is qualified for that. You're all volunteers and-_"

"_And some of us are combat ready,_" the man from the other ship continued. That much as obvious, even to Snow. The individual on the ground was still hacking away, the corpses of monsters piling up around him. Whoever he was, Lighting had to admit that he was fantastically good. Perhaps as good as her, a thought that caused her lips to purse.

"_We have orders,_" Serah tried to mediate. "_The Guardian Core received a distress call and we were sent to take care of the problem._"

"_And it wasn't necessary. We also received the distress call and came. I would assume that the Surveyors, in their panic, sent out a distress call to every division. But this should have remained an internal affair. As you can see, our Elite has the situation under control. Your assistance is not needed._"

"_Now hold on,_" Snow started up again. "_The Guardian Core is in charge of protecting the people of Pulse. By creating this SES thing or whatever, you're stepping over your jurisdiction and-_"

"_Yes, the purpose of the Guardian Core is to protect the people. That is, those in more civilized and urban areas of Gran Pulse. Out here, the surveyors are separate from all that and usually can't wait for the help the Guardian Core sends. It takes too long. I commend you all on getting here as quickly as you did, but that is not usually the case. So we created the SES._"

"I'm going in," Lightning announced into her com, growing tired of the arguing and the fact that this other soldier, an "Elite," was taking all the thrill out of her job. She'd come here to kill monsters, so that was what she was going to do, Survey Core and Guardian Core communication issues be damned.

"_This is a top job, one reserved for professionals like us,_" Lighting heard Snow argue. "_We're team LC of the Guardian Core, the team with the l'Cie. If this mission was designated for us, then your people won't stand a chance._"

"_Your status as l'Cie isn't relevant to the SES._"

Lighting, head shaking vaguely, tuned out their arguing and, bracing herself once again, finally vaulted herself down into the fray. Whipping out her own gunblade, she pulled the trigger as she soared forward, firing on the monsters above before landing nearer the middle, only some twenty feet away from the man causing her competition.

Wasting no time, she brought her blade forward, spinning gracefully and wiping a good number of the creatures that were rushing her. Pushing herself into a backflip, she fired down upon the monsters once again, watching as they continued to crowd in from every direction.

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw that the man from the SES was flipping through the air as well. Landing securely on her feet, she raised her blade out in front of her, prepared to strike as the Elite landed right behind her.

They stood back-to-back, gunblades ready to strike.

"I don't know about you," Lighting started over the shrieking of the baby creatures rushing towards them, "but since we're both here, might as well make the best of each other. Let them argue above our heads; I just want to get this mission done."

"Hmf," the man grunted through his mask behind her. "Fine."

Bolting forward, they both lashed out, using their trained skills and techniques to take out line after line of the spindly legged, arachnid type creatures. A large, vainy spot glowed on their backs, making them easy targets. Yet as the clattering creatures came in wave after wave, they watched each other's backs seamlessly, making it quite obvious that both masked individuals had fought together with others at one point or another.

Ignoring the bickering echoing in their ears, the slashed and cut, shot and jump, stabbed and tossed. Until, after minutes that seemed like strenuous hours, they stood side by side, panting. But the battle wasn't over; they both knew that. Generally, when babies were killed, a furious mother wasn't that far behind. And considering they were surrounded in the corpses of the little things, they weren't surprised when an ear-cracking shriek echoed from inside the trees some distance from the colony.

Following the scream were the sounds of twigs breaking, trees splintering, and, as they watched, a huge, angry, eight-legged beast soured up into the air, screeching all the while. Upon it's back, the blue spot had split into wings, lifting its heavy body from the forest floor before it charged at them.

"Those membranes look pretty thin," the man beside Lighting stated. "Do you have a boost mech?"

"Of course," Lighting replied easily, sheathing her weapon before releasing the correct mech and snapping her fingers. This time, a light blue zap erupted around her hand, this one transferring to the other as well. At the same time, the Elite snapped his gunblade into place before jumping towards her. She caught him in her hands and, with no effort on her part, thrust him upwards and he shot into the sky.

Watching him as she ran at the monster from the ground, she saw him pull another weapon from a pocket on his thigh as he was just reaching the climax of his jump. Snapping it open, he then pulled back and, with as much force as he could muster, chucked the weapon at the beast flying towards them.

The bent blade whistled through the air, Lightning recognizing it as a boomerang as it circled around the beast and, with precise aim, slashed through the base of the membrane that created the creature's wings.

The monster shrieked, but Lighting, understanding the mechanics of a boomerang quite well, snapped her boost mech back into action before dashing up underneath the man. Expecting her actions, he kept one of his legs bent while the other touched down on her hands, at which point she tossed him back into the air once again.

Just in time for him to catch the boomerang as it came whistling back.

No longer focused on their previous teamwork, Lighting drew her gunblade once again as she dashed towards the monster that was now cashing towards the ground, a blue ooze leaking from where the Elite had cut through its wings.

The man landed right beside her a few seconds later, running at her side as he shoved his folded boomerang back into place before pulling out his gunblade as well.

"Let's make this a one hitter," Lighting said to him, satisfied that he'd heard based on his silent nod. Feet tapping against the ground, they both decided to take advantage of the creature when it was at its weakest, screaming in agony as it plummeted from the heavens.

Blades raised and ready, they were able to slide beneath the creature just before it landed. At the same time, they scraped their swords against its exposed underbelly, slashing it deeply on both sides of its thick body.

It screeched further, creating a bloody-blue dust cloud as it started to land. And, just in time, both soldiers front-rolled out from beneath it before pushing themselves back into running to make sure they were clear of the corpse as it collapsed fully in the dirt.

Confident they'd cleared the fall, both fighters turned to watch as the dust was thrown up and out, both of them raising their hands to guard their already masked eyes from the debris.

It was dead, the abrupt silence making that perfectly clear.

"Fun times," the man beside Lighting stated sarcastically, causing her to scoff as the dust finally started to lighten around them. "We worked pretty well together." Lighting glanced over at him, one eyebrows cocked. Not that he could see. He wasn't looking at her however, instead watching as the airships above their heads started to descend.

"_Thunder,_" they finally started listening to their coms again. "_What's your status?_" It was the same man Lighting had heard arguing with Snow.

"Mission complete Sir," she heard the man beside her reply. "No injuries or casualties."

"_Good,_" the man replied, the corpses around them finally starting to disintegrate. It would seem the baby monsters couldn't dissolve until the mother was destroyed, and Lightening wondered quickly if the large one could have brought the little ones back to life. She'd run into such creatures before.

"_Lightning, anything you need to collect for the report to Guardian Core?_" Snow asked, Lighting knowing he knew the answer. But she had the feeling that, since their hail frequency was still connected to the other ship, he was simply reminding the strangers of where they'd come from and who they worked under.

"No," Lighting replied simply, refusing to call him "Sir."

"_Then we're landing to pick you up, so report back,_" he commanded, Lighting rolling her eyes at his attempts to act all "in charge." Technically, Sazh was the one in charge, but he preferred to simply fly most of the time, if he could help it.

"_You too Thunder,_" the man from the other airship commanded, both ships getting lower and lower to the ground. They landed facing each other, their respective soldiers standing between. Lighting was sure Snow got an immature sense of joy out of the fact that their ship was a great deal larger then the SES's.

"Yes Sir," the man beside Lighting replied sternly.

"_Thunder and Lightning, huh?_" Sazh finally came over the radio. "_How quaint. Sounds like this whole thing was meant to be._" He laughed then, Lighting rolling her eyes and wondering if the man beside her was doing the same thing.

"_This is no laughing matter,_" the serious man from the other airship cut in as they finally landed. "_I expect that we won't see anyone else from the Guardian Core out here?_" His tone was almost threatening now, Lightning pursing her lips. She hated getting caught up in military drama. Now that she was only killing monsters as opposed to people, she didn't really care about the politics of the whole thing.

"_We take orders from the Guardian Core,_" Snow stated firmly. "_If we're ordered out here again, then we'll do as told. If you have a problem with that, take it up with our commanding officers._" Snow was right, for once. As far as the decision-making was concerned, the on-field combatants had little to do with it. If people were in danger and Guardian Core ordered them in, they'd go, regardless of threats from another division.

"_I will do so,_" the man from the other ship verified. "_I'm cutting the hail with you now. Goodnight._" And as simply as that, they lost contact with the other ship. Lighting, glancing only quickly at the man she'd fought alongside, saw that he was doing the same to her before they finally parted ways. Heading for their respective ships, they didn't look back as they entered.

Lighting, closing the door to the ship behind her, yanked off her mask and took a huffing breath. Tossing it onto a bench, she felt the ship shift beneath her feet, signaling that they were lifting off again. Thin, black boots tapping against the metal floor, she made her way up towards the front, an automatic door sliding open before she found herself among her friends.

"Can you believe that guy?!" Snow bellowed as she walked in, Lightning raising a skeptical brow, but refusing to comment. "The nerve. We're the Guardian Core, this is our job, and he thinks he can tell us what to do? I'm reporting this as soon as we get back. And who the hell was that Elite soldier guy? Nobody told me the Survey Core had people like that. I mean, who the he-"

"I found him," Serah interrupted her husband, her hands typing away at the holographic keyboard before her. "The guy, that Thunder SES guy," she continued, finally drawing all their curiosity. Snow, Dajh, and Lighting made their way over to her, Sazh listening from his position in the pilot's seat.

Before Serah, the floating screen was displaying the information she'd found as she began to summarize it.

"It wasn't that hard to look him up," she explained easily. "There aren't that many guys named Thunder after all. I mean, at first I thought maybe it was a code name, but I looked it up anyway. So here he is, Thunder Sorrow. He's nearing the six-year mark of his first term of service, he's twenty-three years old and… ah, look, it's listed in his credentials. Member of the Survey Elite Squad, position – Elite. Weapon specialties are gunblades and airwings." Boomerangs. "There's no picture of him though…" Serah frowned.

"That's odd," Lightning commented. Generally, everyone in the military was required to have a picture in the database. How had he gotten out of that one? Though, considering how well he fought and the fact that he was in a section of the military that generally lacked such people, she wasn't surprised if, in their desperation to keep him around, he'd been able to pull a few strings.

But why choose to have no picture?

"Six years huh?" Snow crossed his arms over his chest as he turned and walked away. "That's the same time Hope joined." A silence fell over the ship then, all of them remembering their young friend sadly. It'd been nearly six years and they hadn't heard anything from him.

It hadn't been quite long enough for them to assume the worst, but…

"I wonder if Thunder knows him?" Serah started after a moment, her suggestion rather optimistic. As if realizing this, Snow cocked a skeptical brow, questioning the solidarity of her idea.

"Well, think about it," she continued. "If he's… still in Survey Core, then he's almost twenty-one now, right? And he was good in combat like you guys, and he has his l'Cie powers. I mean, if this SES group is looking for top fighters to recruit, then don't you think he'd be a main candidate?"

"No," Snow replied, not believing a word of her reasoning. "He's just a kid. There's no way they'd let someone that young-"

"He's not a kid anymore, wherever he is," Serah corrected as she stood, her hands on her hips stubbornly. "Maybe it's because I didn't know him as well as all of you, but I know that twenty-one is an adult age and that he could be doing anything he wanted if he-"

"He's gone Serah, okay?" Snow interrupted his wife rather rudely. "So can we just stop talking about it?" Serah tightened her lips in irritation, but didn't comment any further. She knew Hope was a sensitive subject, that they'd all lost a part of their family when he'd disappeared. No one like talking about it, especially those l'Cie that had spent so much time with him.

Sighing, Serah turned her attention to Lighting, regretting having pushed the subject. Her sister was staring at the ground, her face blank, her eyes glazed. Hope had been very dear to her, that much Serah knew, and she'd been extremely hurt when he'd run away without saying anything to her. A part of her missed him dearly and Serah had come to notice that whenever she was thinking of him, loneliness overtook her.

It was odd for Serah to consider, but the previously fourteen-year-old boy had been her sister's best friend.

Now no one knew where he was…

Turning back to the monitor, Serah looked over the file for Thunder Sorrow once again, her eyes lingering on the weapons section. But she shook her head before she could consider it further and closed out the screen. Turning back to Lightning, she tried to remain positive.

"C'mon Claire," Serah grabbed her attention, her older sister snapping up to look at her. "Let's get you into something more comfortable." Sighing, Lightning nodded and together, the two women made their way towards the back of the ship, the automatic doors closing behind them as they left the three boys to their own devices.

In the back of the ship, they all had a group bunker. It was small and provided no privacy, but it gave them all a place to sleep and store their clothes when necessary, which was more than a lot of airships had.

Starting to peel away her stealth uniform, Lighting remained silent as her sister went hunting for her normal uniform. It was folded neatly on one of the beds and Serah grabbed it up before walking back to her sister.

"So what'd you think of that Thunder guy?" Serah asked once her sister, now clad in only her black panties and bra, started to redress. "He was pretty cool huh?" She sat back on one of the beds, her eyes watching her older sister as she waited for a response.

"I guess…" Lightning replied, not quite understanding the question or following comment. "I hardly said anything to him. Though I suppose he didn't seem nearly as annoyed with us as that other man was." She wasn't sure if calling him Thunder's commanding officer would be correct or not.

"No. You two fought well together actually," Serah replied as Lighting sat down and started to pull on her layered brown boots. "I wonder what he looks like? Or if he's cute?" Falling back on the bed, Serah sighed.

"You're married," Lightning commented, somewhat amused by her sister's antics.

"I know," Serah replied as she sat back up again. "But I wasn't wondering for me. I was wondering for you." Lightning paused, her eyebrows furrowing suspiciously. "I mean, he's good in combat, you two fight with the same weapons. Your names are related. Who knows? Maybe Sazh was right and it was meant to be."

"Um, no," Lightning decided as she stood again. Grabbing her red cape, she started to fasten it to the clasp on the back of her uniform. It took a little bit of stretching as far as her arms were concerned, but she'd been doing it for so many years that such a hindrance was hardly relevant. "I told you already," she continued. "I'm done with men."

"Claire," Serah huffed. "You can't just rule them all out because you got a few bad apples. There's someone out there for you, you just have to keep looking, that's all." Lightning was shaking her head halfway through her sister's speech, which she'd heard a million times.

"I don't want to deal with it right now, okay?" Lighting explained. "Men are just… too much drama. I have more important things to focus on."

"Like what?" Serah wasn't buying it. "Your career? Yeah, sure." She sighed. "Lightning, don't take this the wrong way, but you're almost thirty years old. You can't keep waiting around just because you're… afraid of being hurt again."

"Serah, just drop it, alright? I'm not interested in men right now, end of story." Turning, she cast her sister a warning eye. "And I'm very aware of my age, thank you." Leaving it at that, she marched out of the room, Serah staring after her.

And as soon as the younger sister was alone, she flopped back on the bed again, closing her eyes before reaching up and rubbing her temples in frustration.

**oOo**

"We got new orders," Serah stated as she swiftly walked through the bunker. Lightning and Snow had just woken up, taking their shift to sleep, and were currently snacking on some bread rations. However, they both paused to furrow their eyebrows at her announcement. "Another distress call from a Survey colony," she quickly explained. "The attack was described just like the other one."

"The same kind of monsters?" Snow questioned after quickly swallowing what he'd previously been chewing. Serah nodded, her arms crossing over her chest.

"Sazh has already redirected our route. The second colony wasn't far from the first and if we push it, we should be there in about twenty minutes." She glanced to Lightning. "Can you be ready in that time? It's extremely short notice, but since we were already in the area…"

"Of course," Lightning replied easily, setting her bread aside as she stood. She did find her thoughts reeling however, considering the fact that this was a similar attack to the last and concerning the same type of beasts. She wondered quickly if it was a particular time of the year of the creatures, if they were waking up all over Pulse. Hopefully, not too many more outposts or colonies were built on top of their nests. But if they slept under fresh water, then it'd make sense that people would build in the same areas.

"Did you report to the Guardian Core about those SES guys?" Snow asked as he too stood, his focus intent on his wife. "Odds are, if we're being ordered back into the same territory, they're going to be there too." He started to walk from the bunker, Serah at his side.

"They know," she was explaining, "and said we were to report anyway. The destination isn't…"

Their voices faded, Lightning going to her bed before reaching beneath it and pulling out the same suit she'd been wearing the night before. Glancing out a window near the top of the room, she gathered that it must be nearing twilight now, what little sky she could see echoing of purple and pinks. Her night suit would be the best option, as she'd predicted.

Quickly stripping of her regular uniform, she then started to pull the elastic suit up and over her body, practically having to roll it into place it was so tight. But once it was on, it fit perfectly and stretched in all the right places. And there was nothing cumbersome about it. To be honest, it made her feel almost like she was wearing nothing at all.

Thunder, the man from the previous mission, had been wearing the same type of suit, though his color had varied slightly in accordance to the Survey Cores regulations. His small accents had been green, whereas Lighting's were red and yellow. The differences were so small however that they were hardly noticeable in the dark.

She wondered, as she slipped on her thin, matching boots, if she'd encounter him again. If the SES was on this as well, then she could only assume she would. Unless there was another squad from that division around, but they weren't really that far from the original mission point, so she found that to be highly unlikely.

They'd fought well together, even of their comrades hadn't been happy about it. If they ran into complications again, she was confident that, whether Snow and that other man were fighting again or not, she and Thunder could get done what needed to be done. The politics happened above their heads. When on the ground, the situation was always different. It didn't matter what division you were from, if you had a common enemy, then you had an ally as well.

Grabbing her gunblade from where she'd had it leaning against the wall of the ship, she sheathed it before taking her mask and heading towards the front. Tucking her pink hair into her neckline as she did, she walked through the automatic doors to find Snow arguing loudly into the com system.

"We have orders and we'll follow them!" he was barking, despite his general affinity for breaking rules. Walking forward, Lightning glanced out the window and saw that, through the clouds, another ship was flying some distance away from them. A familiar ship.

The SES ship.

"_We have the situation under control, your assistance is not needed,_" the same man from the night before replied back through the com. "_You are overstepping your boundaries and if you do not stop now, this will go above your heads._" Again with the threatening tone. But it wasn't as though the blame would fall to them. They were simply doing as told.

"I don't care," Snow rebuked. "It's our duty to protect the people of Pulse, no matter where they are or who they happen to be, and that's what we're going to do. Until we get direct orders to withdraw or a written agreement that _you_, whoever you are, can order us when we're under your supposed 'jurisdiction,' then we're not going to leave." Snow crossed his arms resolutely over his chest.

"_Your position here is unnecessary and is therefore a needless risk. The distress call came from the Survey Core and as part of the Survey Core, I'm telling you that you are not needed here!_"

"You are not in any position of authority that I need adhere to, so therefore your division is irrelevant," Snow replied, Lightning sighing as she listened to the bickering. Drawing her mask up, she pulled it down across her head, covering it fully before she tapped a small sensor point beside her temple. Her glasses lit up across her eyes, leaving her prepared to deploy at any moment.

"Are you ready?" Serah turned in her chair, looking up at her older sister. Lightning nodded, silent as Snow continued to shout. The other man, which had previously seemed levelheaded, was yelling back now, both of them acting quite immature about the whole thing.

"We're coming in over the landing site," Sazh explained. Nodding a second time, Lightning took that as her dismissal. Turning, she headed out the automatic doors and down the corridor that led to the entrance ramp. She ignored that however, instead heading for a ladder in the corner. Climbing it quickly, she reaching the ceiling where, above her head, was a circular hatch. Twisting it, she pushed it open, revealing the darkening sky above her head.

Climbing the rest of the way out, she ignored the gusting wind that assaulted her, instead closing the hatch back up before standing fully. She could tell they were flying pretty low in elevation because the clouds were still above her head. To her right, they were shadowed and dark, the night sky creeping in. To her left, a bright orange flare of the setting sun cast an array of warmth across the heavens, the colors fading from pink to purple to night on the other side.

And silhouetted by the bright array was the SES airship, flying parallel and blocking out a great deal of the sunset. Not that Lightning really minded. Her outfit fit much better into the shadows, so the glaring sun was more of a hindrance than a help.

Walking across the deck of the ship, she made her way towards the end before crouching down and getting a good look at the ground below. Pressing her glasses to zoom, she glanced around the colony, not surprised to see that there were dozens of the glowing blue spots, the creatures scattered all over below. If anything, there appeared to be more than the night before, which caused Lightning to sigh.

Releasing the zoom on her glasses, she looked up at the sky, trying to determine the best way to tackle the insects below. Yet, odds were, there'd be another of the great mother beasts as well, which meant she shouldn't expend all her energy. Abruptly, she realized that, though she could handle this job on her own, it would be much easier to have help.

Hesitating for only a moment, she glanced over at the SES airship once again and was not surprised to see that, much like she was, another figure was crouching down on the edge of that ship as well. Dressed in the same black suit as the night before, she could tell he was looking at her, even with his mask over his face.

Thunder.

He was being deployed as well.

It wasn't that she couldn't fight them off. She'd fought much stronger before. But it was the sheer numbers. The baby monsters died quickly enough, but the amount of exertion needed to keep going at the extensive amount of them was draining. She always had her own team, who could come help her, but she never asked. Thunder Sorrow's presence was, all around, more convenient. At least for her.

They stared at each other for a moment longer before Thunder twitched his head to the side, almost as though he was listening to something. Probably his com. A few moments later, he glanced back at Lightning. And though he couldn't see it, she cocked a curious brow.

He straightened into standing, Lightning doing the same. Their stares were still locked across the distance between them. Raising her hand, Lightening held up her three last fingers, slowly counting down. Across from her, Thunder nodded and as she reached one, they both tensed, muscles tightening, and vaulted into the air.

The chilled evening air flashed through their uniforms, both of them relishing in the feeling of freedom as they pitched downward. Hands and legs pulled straight, they bulleted through the air, watching with acute eyes as the ground grew closer and closer with each passing second.

Lightning registered Snow's voice in her ear, reprimanding her for not alerting them to her jump, but she ignored it, instead listening to the sound of the air rushing by, smothering her into a tunnel of swishing silence. Beside her, sight also trained on the ground below, soared Thunder, equally as together with her in their flight as he was isolated.

That was one of the things she loved about catching the air. The seclusion, sheer and raw, as she cut through the sky. It was numbing. She felt nothing but the shrill gasp that pressed in on her from every direction.

Mindless falling.

But it had to come to an end and, as she'd done the night before, she calculated when she was approximately two hundred meters from the ground. Snapping her fingers, she felt the zapping energy as it whirred to the mech in her shoes. Parallel to her, not exactly next to her, Thunder whipped out his gunblade and shot a single bullet towards the ground. That same bright yellow static exploded and, a single arm outstretched, he prepared for landing.

Lightning did as well, front flipping just in time for her feet to grace the ground, completely gravity free as she swiftly drew her gunblade from the sheath at her back. Thunder, by contrast, hit his shot of energy before flipping forward from his hand and onto his feet, blade also drawn.

They glanced around and waited for the shrieking cries of their attackers, the crowd of monsters ready to rip them to shreds.

But…

None came.

The bodies around them were completely still, both Lightning and Thunder wary of lowering their defenses despite the apparent immobilization. Yet, after a few seconds of silence, they finally let their guard down. Not that they were relaxing, but simply allowing their mental dispositions to change from "attack" to "investigate."

"_What going on down there?_" Snow's voice echoed in Lightning's ears as she allowed her gunblade to drop to her side. She didn't put it away however, instead slowly approaching the nearest immobile body on the ground. Bending down, she narrowed her eyes against the falling darkness.

"All the creatures have become… stationary," she explained softy, examining the bodies. "But there's… no signs of death. No injuries, nothing. It's like it just… stopping living." Hesitantly reaching out, to perhaps flip over the body to see if there was any damage she was missing, she was surprised when a hand reached out and grabbed her wrist, stopping her.

Whipping her head to the side, she saw that Thunder had knelt down beside her.

"Don't touch it," he stated roughly. "Some of the creatures in this area possess a defensive mechanism that puts off an electric charge. It's enough to kill a human." He'd know after all. He was part of the Survey Core. It was their job to know the areas they worked in. Yet even if he hadn't, Lightning found that she was very trusting of the faceless voice murmuring to her. Perhaps because they'd placed their trust in each other on the battlefield, she was able to place faith in his knowledge.

"_Well, are they dead?_" Snow asked, apparently growing impatient.

"No," Lightning shook her head as Thunder released her, the two still staring at the corpse. "Or at least, it's mother isn't. Otherwise the bodies wouldn't be here." She pursed her lips, trying to decide what to do. The smart thing would be to find the leader, but these motionless bodies unnerved her. There were no signs of death anywhere on them…

"Do you hear that?" Thunder asked suddenly, his head snapping upwards. Alerted as well, Lightning strained her ears and realized that she did hear something. A buzzing of some sort, and it was growing louder by the second.

Standing, both of them raised their weapons once again. Side by side, they tried to determine where the noise was coming from, but it seemed to come from all directions yet none at the same time. And as it grew louder, it bore substance, the ground beneath their feet starting to shudder.

Obviously, something was coming.

The colony, like many in the mountains, was surrounded by trees. And they knew the noise was close at hand when the sound of twigs snapping and trees bowing began to filter through the buzzing. But this too seemed to come from all around, both Thunder and Lightning glancing around quickly. The trees all around them were shifting back and forth, the entire area shaking as though being assaulted by an earthquake.

"_What the hell is going on down there?!_" Snow shouted. "_And what the hell is that hor-fic- -oise!_" Whatever that sound was, it was interfering with their com system, Lightning almost hearing it snap in her ears as Snow's voice broke up.

Then, with a crackling explosion, the perpetrator burst from the trees, flying up into the air and blocking out what little sunlight there was left.

And, bolting up from every other direction, were copies of the mother beast. Six of the monsters crashed up out of the trees, the buzzing becoming a teeth-clattering rumble as Lightning and Thunder realized they were completely and totally surrounded.

And neither could communicate with the ships above their heads.

Swords drawn, they backed into each other, back to back once again as they tried to think over the horrible humming cracking their eardrums. Whatever these creatures were, they possessed some ounce of intelligence. The two soldiers had been sabotaged.

But to assume that things couldn't get worse would be the oversight of the situation. Just when the two had thought they'd begun to comprehend how they'd been surrounded, the buzzing intensified again and, at their feet, the bodies on the ground began to stir.

All the smaller arachnid type creatures began to click and snap into life, their dagger like legs scrambling into standing as the blue spots on their backs began to glow. As far back as the trees, the creatures started to rise, the sounds of their humming growing to the point where no other noise would even be discernable. Lightning could barely hear the thoughts in her own head.

And as if a single order hand been given, the small army of beasts all raised their shelled heads to the sky, the clearing falling abruptly silent.

Transparent wings shifting on their backs, every single one of the beasts darted into the air, hovering just above eye level.

And then the shrieking began.

But it wasn't like before. No, these screams weren't of rage or grief, but more like a battle cry. And the humans in the midst of it had no choice but to fall victim.

Dropping their weapons, they both collapsed on the ground, their hands going to their ears as they vainly tried to drown out the excruciating noise that was ripping agony through their heads.

The mech's equipped to their weapons and suits clicked and snapped, shattering under the pressure of the noise, becoming useless. An electric resonance pounded down on them, wave after wave assaulting the two as they found their bodies collapsing closer and closer to the ground.

They couldn't hear.

Couldn't see.

Couldn't _think_.

But Lightning could feel. For a moment longer, not all her senses were void. And if emotions could scream, hers did then. Desperate and fraught, she forced the weight in her chest outward, one last desperate plea before she was rendered totally useless.

_Odin_.

As if she was waking for the first time, all her senses returned, the heat of her calling enveloping her as she summoned the weapon into her command. Pink energy bursting forth, she felt herself pushed to her feet as the mechanical beast formed before her very eyes. It picked her up, shrouding her in its protective power before folding into the equine rearing gloriously into the air, Lighting positioned on it's back with winged blades in hand.

It neighed in defiance of the shrieking monsters, taking the closest ones off guard before vaulting into the air. Weapons ready, Lightning forced her brain to return to her control as she felt the surging energy building inside her. All around, the pink light burst forth and, as if dashing from a dream to fight the nightmare, she set her sights on the monsters and charged.

One with the eidolon upon which she road, she trusted it to guide her as she slashed at the creatures, no longer affected by their raucous noisemaking. She twisted and turned, flashing energy through the air and taking them down in great numbers. All around her, the glowing pink aura assaulted them, forcing them back and destroying them. The light stretched from one end of the colony to the other, to the line of trees and deeper. Shouting her battle cry, she built all the strength she could up inside of her, flashing it out as she cut and ripped through the throng.

All she could see was the glow; hear the sound of her protector as it shielded her from the danger beyond.

The danger, that was, that she was focused on. The beasts, destroying them, disposing of them. Stopping the horrible torture they'd cast down upon her.

So set on her goal was she that she hardly noticed the screeching agony that sheered through her until she was flying through the air, thrown from Odin's back as the horse screamed.

Above them, two of the great mothers had zeroed in on her, sending out an electric pulse that was shocking down upon her guardian, the blast landing long enough that when they finally stopped, Odin fell to the ground before her, his light vanishing before he was flashed into nothing.

Crawling across the ground, attempting to get over the shock, Lightning tried to form some kind of defense as her protective shield against the beasts started to fade. But there was nothing she could do. Her body was so frazzled by her sudden dismount and the retreat of Odin that she barely registered when the two creatures above her began to bullet down upon her, intent on ripping the small, dangerous human to shreds for the pain she'd caused upon all their offspring.

And she could do nothing but watch, too vulnerable after the summoning to be capable of anything else.

Closing her eyes, she turned away, unable to witness those horrible, wrath-filled faces of her destruction.

Clutching at the ground, she waiting, rebelliously accepting the end as the shrieking of the beasts came closer and closer.

But then the screaming was interrupted, the monsters suddenly choking on their voices as their horrible sounds were cut short. Lightning could practically hear them gagging in alarm and, snapping her eyes back open, they widened at what she saw.

The ground below her hands was alight with white, a bright green glow emanating forth and encompassing her in a protective embrace. It captured her in soft, invisible arms, caressing her softly as she scrambled onto her side, glancing up at the heavens. The night sky had vanished, completely awash with the magnificent radiance.

The air around her began to shake, tremble against the power of the incoming force. Created out of the light came the golden shape of the spirit that protected her. It collapsed heavily before her, cracking the ground beneath the sheer force of it. And as it landed, it materialized, becoming solid in the glow. Stories above her head, the grand castle rose, stretching to the sky as it heaved forward.

On either side of it, more columns fell, shaking the earth as a great wall was erected around her, shielding her from the outside.

That green glow, surrounding that metallic body.

The breathing castle.

Alexander.

Gaping, Lighting stared up at it wide-eyed, unable to look away as a great hand reached forth from the structure, the light of the summoning finally beginning to dim. Out of that grasp leapt a single, dark figure that drew forth his airwing and threw it at the closest, shrieking mother beast. And as the empowered, glowing weapon hit home, the beast started to scream in agony, the huge hand of Alexander taking over and grabbing it before slamming it to the ground. Crushed, the monster fell instantly silent.

Falling from the air, Thunder landed lightly beside Lightning, his airwing back in his grasp. Then, in one swift motion she recognized beyond any she'd seen so far, he pulled his hand out before him and motioned the eidolon onwards, snapping his arm forth with a single, crisp command.

Seeming to rear back, Alexander released a great huffing, excess of energy before the face of the guardian slid open. Bright gold, its mask glowed as it gathered energy, building and building until, finally, the bright rays of light were released.

Shooting forth, the rays were cast down upon the frightened, screeching monsters, striking them asunder and throwing them from the skies. They fell with crashing ferocity to the earth, to the trees. And as the remainder of Alexander's wrath followed, the monsters were destroyed in an explosion that threw smoke and debris hundreds of meters into the night sky.

Lightning could feel the force it, the strength of the blow falling back upon her and, had it not been for the fact that the very energy that spurred the guardian onwards held her in a protective embrace, she'd no doubt have been decimated by the aftermath.

The whole area was aglow with it, the strength behind the attack.

But Lightning knew perfectly well that the immense power of such an entity hardly lasted. Within moments of the final attack, the strength began to diminish, dissolving into nothing as the glow faded as if cleared by the sweeping push of a broom.

Alexander melted into nothing, vanishing just as quickly as it had appeared and leaving a debris filled cloud in its wake.

The green energy was zapped back to its source, Lightning watching from her position lying on the ground as the man before her flinched, the landscape finally returning to normal as night settled upon them.

Then, drained of his energy, he fell to his knees, wavered, and buckled forward. Face first in the dirt, he grew still.

Watching on, Lightning could do nothing, her own exhaustion too much to fight as she reached her hand forward, as if to claw her way forward. She was helpless however, left with no strength after being so thoroughly beaten down.

Her vision was blurring, her throat dry as she tried to breathe in the dusty air.

Only one word finally formed on her tongue, hardly audible as she whispered it forth.

As she tried to call out to him.

"Hope…"

* * *

**A/N: **Ah man, pretty intense. I'm not going to say much on this chapter, don't want to give anything away, lol. In any case, I hope you all enjoyed and please leave your thoughts. I truly want to know what you all thought.

THANK YOU AND **R&R** PLEASE!


	3. Chapter 2: Burned

**Two Birds, A Different Feather**

"_The arena is empty except for __**one**__ man,__  
__Still __**driving**__ and __**striving**__ as fast as he can.__  
__The sun has gone down and the moon has come up,__  
__And long ago somebody __**left**__ with the cup.__  
__But he's __**driving**__ and __**striving**__ and hugging the turns.__  
__And thinking of __**someone**__ for whom he still __**burns**__. _

_He's going the __**distance**__.__  
__He's going for __**speed**__.__  
__She's __**all alone**__  
__In her __**time**__ of __**need**__.__  
__Because he's __**racing**__ and __**pacing**__ and __**plotting**__ the course,__  
__He's __**fighting**__ and __**biting**__ and __**riding**__ on his horse,__  
__He's going the __**distance.**__"_

_**The Distance - Cake**_

**Chapter 2: Burned**

"She's waking up!" Snow's voice. She could hear their exclamations above her head, her eyes slowly blinking open. At first, all she could make out was a blindingly bright light, the silhouettes of those staring down upon her practically drowned out. But as her eyes began to adjust, the glow diminished to the ceiling light, her family's faces focusing on her with serious, wide, impatient eyes.

"How are you feeling?" Serah's voice, her expression becoming one of concern as she bent down beside Lightning's head. At first, she didn't reply, still trying to take in and remember what had happened. She'd passed out. Odin had been attacked. She'd been saved by Alexander and… passed out.

Hope…

"I'm fine," she assured as she slowly sat up, everyone around her backing up a pace to give her proper space. Glancing around, she was able to deduce that she was up at the front of the ship, previously lying back in one of the seats. Sazh was in the pilot's chair, which meant they were in the air. He was glancing back at her over his shoulder.

"What happened down there?" Snow asked a few moments later, his arms crossing over his chest. Serah cast him a disapproving look, as if his question was currently inappropriate, but Lightning didn't really care. Rather, she glanced at her family members curiously, not quite understanding the point of his inquiry.

"We lost communication, remember?" Serah added when it became apparent her attempts to divert the conversation were going to be ignored. "That screaming from the monsters started to interfere with our instruments. We had to fly up out of the way. And all we saw of you was… just bright light after bright light."

"And an explosion," Snow added. "The entire area was completely demolished when we finally got to you. And the monsters gone." A pause, all of them staring at Lightning expectantly, but she gave no immediate attempts to explain.

"Was it… you and Odin that did that?" Serah asked hesitantly. None of them could fathom that anything else could have caused such damage. And even then, they were stretching it. Odin, though an eidolon, was more of a combat oriented guardian. It didn't generally do the amount of collateral damage they'd discovered upon landing. But that was the only conclusion they could come to.

"No," Lightning shook her head, her thoughts drifting back to the battle. Back to the end when both of them had collapsed. "Where is he?" Slowly, she drew her eyes back to them, her question causing them to furrow their brows.

"Who?" Snow asked somewhat snottily, as if he was getting fed up with her strange attitude. Realizing she wasn't going to get anywhere with the large man, Lightning looked to her sister, her narrowed eyes boring into her.

"You… you mean… Thunder?" Serah eventually replied, unease apparent upon her expression. "He… he's in the back, in the bunker. Last we checked, he was still passed ou- Hey, wait, Claire, you shouldn't get up!" But it was too late. Already, Lighting was standing, her eyes trained on the automatic doors leading further back.

She wobbled slightly, her family jumping forward as if they might catch her, but she ignored both her body and them. Instead, she forced her feet forward, determination flaring through her.

"What the hell is going on?" Snow growled behind her as she made her way through the automatic doors. She ignored him however, and even the fact that they were following her as she dragged her worn body to the back of the ship.

She didn't know why he was on their ship, or in what condition he was in, but she didn't care.

Six years…

Bursting into the bunker, she glanced around only quickly before easily locating the darkly dressed body laying out on one of the beds. Lips pursed, she straightened as much as she could, a defensive gesture, before marching to his side.

Staring down at the masked man, she watched for only a moment as his chest rose and fell, confirming that, like her, he'd made it through the ordeal. Yet Lightning felt no relief at the thought. No, she wasn't sure what she felt. Other than a pressing urge to do something, to figure this whole mess out.

Reaching down, she harshly grabbed the man by the top of his mask, her fingers digging into the cloth as well as the hair underneath. No one behind her attempted to stop her rough handling, just watched. Whatever score she had to settle with this person, they knew it was justified.

Or so they assumed.

Pulling him angrily into the sitting position, she heard his breathing start, as if taken aback as she forcefully took control of his body. She couldn't see his green eyes, but knew that, upon being awoken so abruptly, he'd flash his gaze to her. See her seething blue eyes and her bright pink hair, which was in slight disarray after the battle. And he'd know that she knew.

He'd _know_.

At first, there was no response, Lightning still holding his skull tightly as she glared down at him. And then, as if finally getting offended by her actions, he swiftly reached up and grabbed her around the wrist, her eyes widening at the audacity of his movements. His large hand wrapped easily around her thin wrist, his strength biting down as he delivered to her an equal amount of pain as her hand was to fisting his hair beneath his mask.

Then, anger and irritation spurring his own actions, he shoved her harshly backwards, his own temper rising the longer she glared at him. It was strange, how their hearts pounded inside their chests, fury pumping through them. They were both so mad, but neither could put into words why.

And as Lightning stumbled backwards, she failed to release her hand on his mask. She ripped it, and some of his hair, from his skull, finally reveling his face for all to see.

Gasps echoed between Snow and Serah, Dajh, who followed the action wherever it went, blinking in surprise as he slowly recognized the man beneath.

"Hope…" Serah whispered, her eyes wide. Snow was unable to even speak, his mouth hanging open stupidly as he stared. But neither Hope nor Lightning were focused on them. No, they continued to stare at each other, unable to draw their eyes away.

Only one thing flitted through Hope's mind, that being that Light hadn't change at all since the last time he'd seen her.

His thoughts, however, were in great contrast to hers.

Lightning couldn't even blink as she stared at him. Somewhere in the back of her mind, logic was telling her that this was Hope. That this silver haired man was that young boy she'd lost so long ago. But then she'd see his face, trace the sharp contours of his cheekbones, which had once been soft with youth. And the point of his chin, something she remembered as round inside his young face.

And those eyes. Those green eyes. They were the same, still open and penetrating, but darker somehow. Unprotected and knowing.

She found that she now hated those eyes. She hated everything about him. That pronounced, adult face. The strength in his jaw as he clenched his muscles tight, glaring back at her without even flinching away.

This wasn't Hope. This man was a stranger. And she despised him.

She couldn't stand to look at him, her anger and grief over what had happened so long before pumping through her uncontrollably. All those years she'd lost to this foreign man, this horrible person. He'd ripped her best friend from her and turned him into something she couldn't recognize.

He was an adult, but she couldn't understand how he'd gotten there. The Hope she'd known, he was gone forever, replaced by this soldier. She'd never see him again, he was as good as dead, and this realization struck her so hard that she could almost feel tears welling up in her eyes.

But no, she wouldn't let this stranger see her so. Instead, she allowed her anger to spread, her teeth clenching together painfully.

She hated him!

Stepping forward, her temper snapped, her actions spurred by fury. Reaching out, she drew her hand back and swiped it forward.

The back of her hand collided with the side of his face.

Everyone in the room gasped again as he pitched to the side, spit forced from between his lips as the skin cracked across his cheek.

Lightning's own hand throbbed from the force of the blow, her arm starting to tremble so much emotion had been placed behind the smack. And then the shaking spread to her whole body. Yet her eyes still remained glaring upon him even as her tears were shot up behind her eyes.

Large hand reaching up to caress his cheek, Hope stretched his eyes wide as the pain echoed across his whole face, his mouth opening wide as he tried to ease the ache.

She'd hit him.

Light had _hit_ him.

Glancing back up at her, he narrowed his eyes further, his own anger returning to stifle his shock. But no words, no actions, would form in his throat. Not when he saw how her body trembled before him. He was furious that she dared treat him this way, but her eyes, they were so focused upon him, so wet with unshed tears.

So broken.

They were the doorways to her soul, her real feelings. Always had been. Surrounded by her angry, tough exterior, those blue eyes told him everything. And he felt guilt start to seep into his rage, tempering it to the point that he had to look away.

And that was all she could take.

Unable to watch the way his green eyes avoided her, his hand still held to his cheek, Lightning gulped. He didn't have the right to look that way, to be so angry one moment and then appear so pathetic the next. This stranger didn't know her, didn't have the right to think he could be so apologetic.

It was all too much.

Shaking her head, she turned, her eyes ripping from him as she forced her trembling legs to carry her out. She went to the door and disappeared, gone as quickly as she'd come.

And Hope didn't look up to watch her go.

Silence fell upon the bunker, Snow and Serah still wide-eyed as they stared at the spot where Lightning had stood. Dajh, by contrast, was glancing between Hope and the door where his Aunt Light had vanished, his thirteen year old mind hardly able to comprehend what had just happened.

Not that anyone else really could either.

"Where… where have you been?" Snow eventually stuttered out, Serah glancing back the way Lightning had gone, her eyebrows furrowed in concern. "Why didn't you contact anyone?" Snow's tone was getting more irritated the longer he spoke. "It's been nearly six years and we haven't heard a peep out of you!"

Hope didn't reply however, his hand falling from his reddened cheek as he leaned forward on his knees. He didn't even look at them, his attitude only pushing Snow into growling. Serah reached out to him, her hand landing on her husband's arm as if to calm him when his fingers pulled into fists.

"Would you damn well say something?!" Snow practically yelled, Dajh flinching away from the words before backing up and out of the room. He'd feel much more comfortable with his father. He didn't know exactly what was going on, he'd been too young when Hope had left to totally understand, but he did know it was serious. Best if he just stayed out of the way.

"Why am I here?" There, Hope had said something, and both Serah and Snow had trouble adjusting to the change his voice had gone through in the last years. His whole appearance for that matter. Those big eyes had become serious and calculating, any childlike chubbiness gone from his face.

And then he stood, turning his attention fully to Snow, and even Serah found herself admiring the form of his body. He was taller, perhaps around six foot, and it was apparent the majority of his time had been spent in the military. His tight suit revealed his toned, lean muscle, not a spec of fat visible.

"W-what do you mean 'why?'" Snow sputtered. He was still a good seven inches taller than Hope, but even so, it was strange seeing those green eyes so much closer to his own. And to see how completely stern they had become. "We picked you up when we picked up Lightning. Why else would you be here?"

"Where is the SES airship?" he asked coldly. Serah took note however that, despite how he'd grown, there was still something soft about his voice. Always had been. It'd never be as deep as Sazh's, or as gruff as Snow's. Hope could fight it all he wanted, but there was a gentleness about him, Serah could see it even in how he stood, and that would never go away.

"Oh…" Snow finally took to his meaning, a frown creasing his face as his temper dimmed some. "Well, when those creatures started shrieking, it interfered with the mechanics of the airship. We're lucky we had Sazh behind the wheel. Your… your airship didn't fair as well."

"It went down?" Hope questioned, no emotion crossing his face, and Snow nodded. He sighed then, green eyes falling to the floor for only a moment before focusing back on the conversation. "Did you check for any survivors?"

"We did," Serah confirmed. "But… the whole thing was totally destroyed. It burned. There was… there was nothing left." Hope nodded, accepting this with pursed lips. If he'd befriended or been close to anyone on the ship, it didn't show. And he certainly didn't tell _them_.

"Can you drop me off at the closest Survey Core outpost?" he asked, glancing between the two of them.

"Oh, yeah, sure," Snow nodded. "I suppose you probably have to report what happened."

"And get my next set of orders," Hope added, blinking as the words left his lips. "I appreciate that you rescued me, but the SES is going to be wondering where I am. I'm the top Elite in the company."

"Wait, that's it?" Snow balked. "We finally find you after almost six years and you're just going to disappear again? What about us? And your father? And Light? Are you just going to walk out on everyone all over again like this never happened?" Snow's anger spiked again, Serah pursing her lips. "You can't do that!"

"I'll do whatever I want," Hope replied steadily. "I have duties and responsibilities, just like anyone else. I can't just give them up because you want me to participate in some sort of unnecessary family reunion."

"_What_?!" Snow was highly offended now. "Who the hell do you think you are?! You can't just treat people that way! Do you have any idea how your actions have affected any of us? What about your father? He hasn't been the same since you left! All you did was leave him a note for crying out loud! And Light! I thought you two had been clo-"

"I don't care," Hope interrupted, some of his patience finally running thin as his tone tightened. "Be that true or not, I have to report back and do my job, just like the rest of you. Now either take me to the closest Survey Core outpost or drop me off here." He knew this area like the back of his hand. He'd jump if he had to, if they refused to let him off.

"Hell no!" Snow rebuked hotly, as both Serah and Hope had expected he would. "Not until you quit acting like a spoiled brat and-"

"Snow, stop!" Hope snapped. "I have responsibilities. Four of the Survey Core's best men have died and this region is now left without an SES deployment. Personal feelings of yours," he didn't characterize his own, "hold no merit. Now either drop me off or I'll make sure I get off myself."

"Not if I hold you down until we get back to Colony One, where you can talk to you _father_!" Snow fought back, Hope sighing and rolling his eyes. Serah watched silently, not agreeing with either of their viewpoints one way or the other.

"Then I'll have your entire squad charged with the interfering of another division, at which point you will all be suspended and demoted," Hope replied, his green eyes sharp. Snow didn't take lightly to being threatened however, it only made him angrier, and Serah was afraid things would get physical.

"We'll drop you off at the nearest outpost and-"

"No, we won't!" Snow interrupted his wife, his voice coming through his teeth. "Don't you have any respect for the people you hurt and abandoned six years ago? You destroyed your father! And nearly did the same to Light! I'd never seen her cr-"

"I don't have time for this," Hope interjected once again. Shaking his head, he deftly dodged his way around Snow, his thin build making him much quicker than the larger man who, surprised, tried to reach out to stop him.

Heading straight through the automatic doors, he completely ignored Snow and Serah as they followed, instead casting his gaze around in search of an exit. The sound of air being suctioned inside was very obvious however and, glancing up, he saw that a top door had been flipped open, giving him a clear view of the early morning sky.

It would appear he'd slept straight through the night.

Behind him, Snow was yelling again, but he didn't bother to listen. Instead, he grabbed hold of the ladder and hastily climbed up and out into the morning. The wind that rushed by him as he came up onto the deck of the ship cast his shaggy silver hair around his eyes, blurring his vision. But as he rose fully, pulling himself into standing, he was easily able to make out the other figure standing at the edge of the ship.

She was wearing a similar suit to his, her hip cocked to the right as her pink hair whistled out behind her. And he could tell her arms were crossed over her chest despite the fact that she faced away from him because he could see his mask hanging from her hand. It dangled just below breast level, her stance one he remembered from many a days and nights spent watching her silently contemplate.

That same thin figure, those tilted, rounded hips. Her perfectly curved back despite how straight she always seemed to be standing. It was all branded into his memory. He'd tried to forget her, at one point he'd wanted to, but seeing her there once again brought it all back.

All those burning feelings.

He shook his head. He was a different person now. Nowhere near the child he'd been when he'd realized how he'd felt about her. That time was long gone and going back to it was just… too much to handle without any kind of preparation.

Forcing his eyes to fall to the deck, he snapped his fingers, thankful when his mech responded. So he wasn't stranded.

Then it was time he left.

Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes for only a moment before popping them back open and pushing his legs forward. He easily built his pace into a sprint, his toes quietly tapping as he surged towards the edge of the deck.

As he flew past her, unwilling to look back as he stretched forward and plummeted off the side of the airship.

Once again, he was gone.

**oOo**

"Well I'm thankful you're alive," Director Freed stated, Hope frowning at the response. His head of command sounded far too relieved that he was alive instead of upset that four of his men had been needlessly killed. "I'll send a new team out to pick you up, so you can continue with your rounds." Because the team was expendable, but not "Thunder." He was a l'Cie; he was their most powerful warrior. Their ace in the hole. He was a secret weapon. And it wasn't as though they could feign not knowing his true identity. There were only six l'Cie on the entirety of Pulse, four of which were registered with the Guardian Core and one that was clearly underage at only thirteen. The only other one that remained was Hope Estheim, who was turning twenty-one that very year. Legally, he could only have been with the military for some over three years, not six, so they referred to him as Thunder, pretending not to be any the wiser.

"Yes Sir," Hope nodded. "But I haven't finished my report. As I said, we weren't the only ones involved. The distress call was sent out to other divisions and there was a squad from the Guardian Core there. Not that their help wasn't appreciated," because he'd likely be in sad shape were it not for Lightening, "but there seemed to be some communication issues between the Cores. They refused to leave despite the fact that we were there." And he didn't blame them for that. No, mostly he blamed the head of the SES. Why hadn't their presence been made more prominent? They were a respected combat unit, but because they were part of the Survey Core, no one took them seriously. Again, more communication, and bigotry, issues.

"Yes, that is an issue," he stared at the director through the screen. He was alone in a briefing room at outpost seven of East Edge. And as he was Thunder Sorrow, the most feared Elite of the Survey Core, no one had questioned him when he'd desired he be alone. "But the Guardian Core has never had any respect for the Survey Core. We're a big joke to them." Which was true. "I'm afraid that this isn't the first time such an occurrence has happened. Tell me Thunder, you were on their ship – did you happen to catch any of their names?"

"Yes, some," Hope lied. The last thing he needed to draw attention to was his l'Cie status. And naming off an entire ship of his previous comrades would likely do that.

"I'm afraid that this issue is probably going to be brought up at Central. We don't have a choice now. Two divisions working at the same missions is no doubt going to compromise both. The Guardian Core needs to back off." He paused thoughtfully, stroking his beard. "Would you argue that the presence of the Guardian Core hindered your ability to take out the target?"

"No," Hope replied quickly, his silver eyebrows furrowing skeptically. The Director, however, didn't seem to like his response. "Not as far as combat was concerned. Which was all I cared about. Their ground soldier was perfectly qualified and were it not for her, I might not be sitting here now."

"But…" the Director narrowed his eyes curiously, "there were issues between the members of the ship then? After all, you specifically stated that the combat related activities were fine. So there were issue elsewhere?" Hope pursed his lips. He really didn't like where this was going.

"They argued, yes," he replied tightly.

"And that's my point exactly!" the Director slammed his hand down on his desk. "I lost four good men out there. And why was that? Because they were too distracted by the Guardian Core's arrogance to focus. I'm tired of the other divisions meddling in our business. These Guardian Core battle junkies come in here and think they can tell everyone else what to do? Well, we're going to put a stop to it."

"But, Sir-"

"This is it Thunder. Finally, we're going to get paid our dues. The Guardian Core has crossed one too many lines." He leaned back, smiling slightly, almost appearing as though he was plotting. Hope tried not to look too disgusted. "Scratch you meeting up with a new team. I want you on the next airship back to Colony One. I'm going to need you as a witness to support my claim. We're going to take these trigger happy GC's out of our way."

"Are you saying," Hope could hardly believe it, "that you want me to fly to Colony One and testify that the four deaths in my team were directly caused by the members sent from the Guardian Core?" Having been there himself, the story was such a stretch that he wasn't even sure he could wrap his head around it.

"Of course," the Director replied. "It's the truth after all. Those GC's are undisciplined and wild. They could have easily put our team in danger with their reckless actions. Now, give me the names you heard."

Hope's mouth was slightly agape, but the Director didn't seem to notice. Or didn't care, one of the two. He could already tell, however, that this wasn't going to end well. Why? Because the situation was already messy and adding exaggerations to it wasn't going to make it any clearer. Not only that, but if he did testify as his superior was asking him to, he was as good as damning the team from the GC that had been involved. It didn't help that Snow _was_ reckless and undisciplined.

But if he didn't cooperate, he was going to lose his rank, his job, maybe more.

"Thunder," the Director grew impatient. "The names."

Hope pursed his lips.

**oOo**

"I don't think we should tell Bartholomew," Serah argued as the group walked down the corridor towards the mess hall. They'd just gotten back from their mission at the Edge and turned in their report. Needless to say, they were all starving for real food, not the dry rations they survived on when deployed. "I mean, he obviously had no intention of coming back."

He'd jumped off their ship he'd been so desperate to get away from them.

"I think we have to," Sazh argued. "Hope, or Thunder, or whatever, is his son. We don't have the right to withhold that kind of information from him. If we have any news on Hope, then he deserves to know." As a parent, he could testify to the feeling. When Dajh had been taken from him, he'd have given anything just to hear news of him.

"Maybe Serah is right though," Snow decided, mostly for the sake of agreeing with his wife. "What good will telling Bartholomew actually do? If anything, knowing that Hope flat out refused to come see him will add more insult to injury. Not to mention the fact that he's become an even bigger jerk than he was before." Because Hope had always had a bit of a bratty side, or so Snow thought.

"None of that matters," Sazh shook his head. "He's the kid's dad, he can handle it. He has the right to know." They continued to bicker on the subject, Lightning trailing silently behind. She attempted to drown them out, mostly because she was tired of hearing about Hope. He'd been the topic of conversation since he'd vaulted overboard.

It was bad enough that she couldn't get him out of her head besides.

A lot of her thoughts were drawn back to how she'd felt when he'd originally left, and to wondering why he'd done so. Seeing him again, whether she'd felt she recognized him or not, had brought all those questions, which she'd thought she'd forgotten, back to the forefront of her mind.

That, and the guilt. She'd always wondered if his leaving had had something to do with her. That she'd done something wrong. But now, as if to make it worse, she now felt partially responsible for the disappearance of his identity. When she'd been a teenager, she'd taken up the name Lightning to become a new person, or rather, someone she wasn't.

Hope had left and done the exact same thing, almost as if he'd been inspired by her poor, teenage decision. Yet, aside from taking a name strikingly similar to her own, he'd also tagged "Sorrow" to the end of it. The complete opposite of his real name. As if he'd wanted to abandon his true identity completely.

As if he hadn't wanted to be himself.

She couldn't fathom it, why he'd have such self-loathing. Or, rather, had. She couldn't claim to understand any part of him in the current day. She didn't know that man that had jumped off the ship right before her eyes. All she had was her memory fighting with an extremely good combatant and his mask with a few silver hairs inside.

As far as she could tell, Hope Estheim was gone. This was Thunder Sorrow, and he was a total stranger to them all.

The thought pained her. She didn't like to consider that the boy she'd adored so long ago was really gone, but there seemed to be no other way to consider it. The feeling left a gaping hole in her heart, one that had previously been stuffed with the silly idea that someday, they'd find him. Someday, they'd come across that fifteen-year-old boy and he'd come home.

Impossible.

"Ah, good, you're all here." Snapping her head up, Lightning spotted Amodar, their commanding officer, walking towards them. He'd previously been Lightning's superior back when they'd lived on Cocoon as well. An agreeable man, he was honest and tried to do his best at everything he did.

"Did you get our report?" Sazh asked curiously.

"Yes, and a few other interesting opinions as well," he explained, the group staring at him curiously. "Lightning, Sazh, I want to see you in my office. The rest of you will be briefed by them, but I can't fit you all in at the same time." His office wasn't that big.

Placing the care of his son with Serah and Snow, Sazh started to trail Amodar, a rather large man, back the way he'd come, Lightning following after. It didn't take them long to reach the officer's quarters. Closing the door to his office behind them, they sat down in the chairs before Amodar's stark desk, their gazes even more curious as he sighed.

"I'm going to cut right to the chase because this whole situation is exploding into a huge ordeal," he shook his head, as if exasperated. "Did you guys meet up with an SES ship during your mission?" The question didn't exactly surprise Sazh or Lightning. After all, the SES had lost an entire airship and its crew. An investigation was expected.

"Yes," Sazh replied. "And due to combat conditions, their ship was terminated. We saved one of their crew members, who returned to the nearest Survey Core outpost." The clean way of avoiding all the internal drama.

"Under what circumstances was the ship destroyed?" Amodar asked, Sazh easily keeping his composure. To him, these questions just seemed like they'd be regulation. But Lightning knew Amodar better than him and the look on the large man's face as unnerving.

"Well, the beasts projected some kind of electronic wave that reeked havoc on our airship mechanics. We were able to get high enough before all our power went down, but that other ship couldn't. It basically lost all its juice and plummeted to the ground. There was nothing we could do."

Amodar rubbed his temples before sighing. "Well, that's not what the SES is saying," he explained. "They lost four crew members in that accident and their pinning it on you guys." Both Lightning and Sazh's eyes widened. They, honestly, couldn't even fathom how such an accusation could possibly be viable.

"All we did was talk to them," Sazh explained. "What are they saying we did? Shoot at them?"

"Of course not," Amodar sat back in his chair. "Their argument is that the GC's interference caused the accident. That, had you not been present, the SES crew wouldn't have been distracted with the liability you all created and wouldn't have suffered their fate. Basically, they're saying you guys purposefully got in the way which put their squad at risk."

"That's absurd," Lightning defended. "Yes, there were some disagreements, but none of that had any lasting effects." Her and Hope had been fully capable of acting as they needed to. They hadn't jeopardized each other, well, other than emotionally, and neither had the rest of her squad.

"Well, they have the word of the guy you rescued, some… Sorrow guy, and intend to push this forward into court." Both Sazh and Lightning gaped. Hope was behind this? Really? "And it's honestly not looking good for you guys. We're being accused of being pushy, battle-driven wild people with no self-control. Obviously, that's not true, but some in your party do have a history of being so. It says in the report that I got that Snow was mainly behind communication with the SES ship. Is that true?"

"Yes," Lightning verified through gritted teeth.

"And is it also true that during multiple discussions, he lost his temper and yelled through the com at the SES ship?"

"… Yeah…" Sazh sighed. "Yeah, that's true." Amodar, shaking his head, took a deep breath. "But he wasn't threatening them or acting as though he was going to take some kind of immediate action against them. It was a heated argument, that's all." One that Snow probably could have handled better.

"It doesn't matter," Amodar verified. He paused for a moment, as if thinking the whole situation over before starting to speak again. "The Director of the Guardian Core is very concerned about this, mostly because we've been getting complaints lately about our attitude towards other Cores. And the Survey Core director, weasel that he is, is demanding immediate action.

"There's a hearing scheduled in two hours to hopefully alleviate the whole situation. And the vice-president of the entire military is going to be there. This entire situation has been completely blown out of proportion, which means that you've all been dragged into it as well." Lightning, her eyes falling to her lap, shook her head. "You're all to report to conference room 54 at that time. I know it's a pain, but as you were all directly involved, there's nothing I can do. So… wear your uniforms, _including_ Snow, and… try to act… decently." Another reference to Snow. "This Thunder Sorrow guy is going to be there," Lightning flicked her gaze back up to him, "and from what I've heard, he's serious business. So don't let him over-show you. He's the prime representative for the SES, so you all need to be the same for us.

"Don't act out of turn and don't screw this up. Tell the truth and, hopefully, things will pan out as honesty dictates." A lot of faith in such a thing considering it was hardly ever present in politics.

Despite all they'd heard however, only one thought was running through both Sazh's and Lightning's minds. Hope was there. Hope was the one filing the complaint against them, or at least assisting with their prosecution.

_No_, Lightning mentally corrected herself. _Thunder Sorrow was the one against them._

Placing this thought forcefully into her head, she was able to push back any thoughts of Hope.

**oOo**

Lightning leading the way, the all walked into the conference room, each of them dressed in their formal Guardian Core blues. Compared to the typical combat uniform, it was actually much simpler, lacking in belts and pockets. Made up of a navy blue, double-breasted jacket, the accents and buttons were silver, cream colored stripes running down the outer edge of each arm. Their pants were kaki and tucked into shining black boots.

Glancing around, they all singled out Hope immediately. He was sitting on the opposite side of the long table, his chair turned away as he stared out the window. Like them, he was also in formal attire. The Survey Core uniform wasn't the same however. It consisted of buckled black boots, slate grey pants, and a white jacket with yellow stripes down the outer arms. They were also required to wear a bright blue tie, which was pinned to their jackets with a double winged pendant.

Silent, the group walked to the remaining empty chairs, Amodar already present and nodding to them as they walked in. And, as they'd been told, the director of the Guardian Core was also present as well that the bearded director of the Survey Core. Vice President Shu sat at the end of the table, looking rather unimpressed. His shiny, balding head caught the light from the windows, so everyone avoided staring at it for too long.

There were two more from the Survey Core as well, but none of Lightning's group knew who they were.

As soon as everyone was present, the vice president cleared his throat.

"No one is missing I presume?" he already sounded exasperated. "Then let's get down to business." He turned to the Survey Core Director. "Director Freed, I believe that, as the plaintiff in this case, it would be logical that we hear what you have to say first." Hope finally turned back to the group, but didn't look directly at anyone, instead focusing on the table.

"Of course," Director Freed nodded, switching his attention to the GC Director. "As I'm sure everyone is aware by now, the SES, Survey Elite Squad, lost four members approximately two days ago in what I know could have been a preventable accident." Lightning could already feel Snow's prickling anger beside her and she hoped he'd keep his mouth shut. "Unfortunately, their deaths were caused by interference from another Division, that being the Guardian Core. They were intruding on a mission that was out of their jurisdiction and in doing so, sent my team to their deaths."

"How do you defend your claim?" the vice president asked.

"With the normal complaints directed at the Guardian Core," Director Freed explained simply. "It was their pushy, arrogant, out of control attitude that endangered, and, ultimately, killed four good Core members. These were people with families, children, and their horrific undoing was caused by how out of control and power hungry the Guardian Core has become. It was reported to me that the two groups had been arguing before the accident, and that the Guardian Core communicator was using brash language as well as yelling at my team. This type of behavior is just the distraction that could cause an accident. Had it not been for this, my crew would have been more concerned with their own safety rather than that of the Guardian Core squad. How were they to be as attentive as possible when they had an entire other division to consider? The SES is in charge of defense inside and around the Edge. The safety of all those inside is their responsibility. Yet here comes a Guardian Core airship, causing more complications and more responsibility to my team. If they hadn't been there, if they hadn't been acting as they had, then my team would have been more focused on the problem at hand, able then to prevent the horrible incident that can now not be undone!" He slammed his hand on the table, as if trying to further prove his point, and Hope looked to the side, as if avoiding his Director.

To be honest, he looked just as unhappy to be there as the LC team.

"What are you thoughts Director Bergara?" The vice president turned then to the Director of the Guardian Squad, who sighed.

"It's completely ludicrous," she replied, her long brown hair pulled back in a strict bun. "All Guardian Core squads are trained professionals and would never endanger another division. And of all our squads, this one in particular is our most elite. The LC squad is our highest-ranking team and have completed more successful missions than any other. To accuse them of endangering and causing the deaths of anyone from any division is ridiculous."

"How?" Director Freed shook his head. "You say that this Squad is your most elite, but based on what premise? On power, that's what. This entire team is made of l'Cie. They aren't qualified for any other reason and are probably more likely to bully another division into danger than any other members. Besides, their captain, Mr. Snow Villiers, has a history of losing his temper and acting in a unprofessional manner." Snow closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "If anything, out of anyone, these individuals are the _most_ likely to have done this."

"The propriety of this Squad is unquestionable," the GC director defended. "They are more suc-"

"Then what do you have to say to Mr. Villiers record?" Director Freed interrupted, his eyes snapping to Snow. "Are you to tell me he hasn't caused issues in the past?"

Silence.

"What do you have to say to this Mr. Villiers?" the vice president was looking at Snow as well, all focus in the room falling abruptly to the large man sitting between the Farron sisters.

"Uh, well," he cleared his throat. "I suppose some of what Director Freed is saying is true. But I don-"

"He even admits it," Director Freed looked to the Vice President again, Serah placing her hand on her husband's thigh when she felt him tense beside her. He scowled, but said nothing in retaliation. "He was the one yelling at my crew, he's the biggest culprit of them all. And the rest, well, they just let it happen. I can't be certain, but for all I know, their ground soldier could have been a hindrance as well. Officer Thunder Sorrow barely made it out alive himself. For an elite team that's never had any issues before, that an awfully big drop." Beside Director Freed, Hope pursed his lips, but didn't say anything. Serah noticed how pained he looked however, her own lips pulling into a frown.

"Whether Mr. Villiers lost his temper or not, you can't blame my people for the deaths of yours," Director Bergara replied hotly. "If your people couldn't handle a heated conversation with another division, then they shouldn't be out on the field to begin with. Combat is far worse than any yelling or brutish behavior."

"Are you saying that my people don't measure up?" Director Freed asked, clearly offended.

"You said it, not me," Director Bergara folded her arms over her chest, her eyebrows hovering high.

"This is the _exact_ attitude I'm talking about!" Director Freed slammed his hand down on the table again. "My team was just as well trained as any of yours. The fact that they were so concerned as to be distracted by your team goes to show how unruly the Guardian Core can be. We've been dealing with their intrusions into our jurisdiction for years! This attitude isn't new!"

"Mr. Katzroy," the vice president interjected, Sazh's eyes widening when he realized that he was being targeted. "You're the pilot, it's your job to be aware of everything around you. Can you please explain, to the best of your ability, what happened to the Survey Core airship?"

Sazh cleared his throat. "O-of course," he sounded nervous. "We'd been ambushed by the monsters, both ground soldiers Lightning and Thunder, respectively. Both airships tried to contact them, but the electronic waves the creatures were putting out interfered with the connection. For a little while, we were all completely blind to the happenings down below. And then… then the monsters started to send the waves higher. Upon hitting our ship, I noticed that the power started to shut down, so I immediately initiated the emergency thrusters and got us as high as possible, at which point the power came back.

"However," he paused to take a deep breath. "The SES ship wasn't able to do the same and when the wave hit them, their power was cut and their ship fell right out of the sky. There was nothing any of us could do."

"Thank you Mr. Katzroy," the vice president nodded.

"It was a simple accident," Director Bergara insisted then. "The Guardian Core had nothing to do with it. Our pilot was able to think faster than yours, apparently and with all due respect."

"And there it is again!" Director Freed stated angrily. "That arrogance! My pilots are just as capable as any of yours and to insult the memory of a good soldier is completely uncalled for. If your example has anything to show for your division, then I'm not impressed, to say the least!" Director Bergara was scowling.

"Excuse me?" Sazh spoke up again, his hand raised in order to get their attention. Everyone snapped to look at him and he cleared his throat again. "If it's any help, I'm quite positive the airship model the SES was using didn't come with any emergency backups, mostly because of the desired small size. It could be that, unlike us, when the ship began to lose power, the pilot simply had nothing he could do." He honestly wasn't sure if his argument would do anything, but Amodar had said to be honest.

"Well then," Director Bergara looked to Director Freed. "It sounds to me like you simply failed to properly equip your team and the fault should fall to you." Now the director of the SC was scowling.

"The ship they were using was standard regulation," Lightning stated, her tone even and cold as they looked to her. "Not to contradict you Director," she nodded to Bergara, "but many of our own troops use that exact same model." In other words, the both of them needed to grow up and stop pointing fingers like children.

Hand going to his mouth, Hope successfully hid the way one corner of his lips pulled up slightly.

"The type of airship is irrelevant," Director Freed waved it off, the other director just as happy to be changing the subject. "The point is that had it not been for the interference of the Guardian Core, then none of this would have happened!" He glared down at the LC Squad. "They have directly caused the deaths of four good people. They should be punished for what they've done. Suspended, stripped of rank for careless behavior! I will not stand by and watch the deaths of my team go unjustified!"

"Your accusations are completely without proof!" Bergara argued back. "My people should not be punished for something they haven't done! Such an idea is-"

"I will not allow your poor discipline to cause such a terrible-"

"Enough!" The vice president silenced them immediately. He then turned to Hope, who glanced back with a straight face. "Office Thunder Sorrow, you were a member of the ship that went down, your opinion is the only one we have from that side. Please, tell us your piece."

Despite how everyone else did, Lightning couldn't bring herself to look at him. She knew that his side of the story was the most influential, that his testimony was more important than anyone's. In essence, he held the survival and reputation of the LC Squad in his hands. If he was able to convincingly agree with his Director, then they were done for. With Snow's spotty record, they'd, at the very least, be suspended and demoted.

And as part of the Survey Core, it was expected that he'd agree. Otherwise, why would Director Freed have brought him along?

Taking a deep breath, Hope glanced from one person to the next, his hand falling lightly to the table as he considered what to say. Beside him, Director Freed was looking quite smug, as if he knew that what Hope had to say would make their case. As if it had all been pre-rehearsed.

"In my opinion," Hope started, his soft voice echoing across the room, "what happened two days ago was a complete and total accident." Lightning finally did look at him then, her team's eyes widening at what he'd said. Beside him, Director Freed was obviously taken off-guard, his face paling considerably.

"Why do you say that?" the vice president pressed on.

"Because," Hope sounded confident in his words, "I knew my team and I knew what they were capable of. To assume that any words exchanged between us and the Guardian Core shook them to distraction would be an insult to their good work and memory. That aside, as far as I could tell, the behavior on Mr. Villiers part was, perhaps, abrupt and uncouth, but in no way foreign when it comes to the military. He probably could have handled himself more civilly, but it wasn't necessary."

The LC Squad couldn't believe it. He was taking their side over his own division.

"I would also like to add," Hope continued, "that the creatures we'd been dealing with were completely unheard of to both divisions. To say that we were unprepared would be a bit of an understatement. It was only through the good graces of Officer Lightning Farron," he glanced at her only quickly and nodded before going back to the vice president, "that I made it out alive. That isn't to say that the SES is incapable, but that this situation was simply unique and, if anything, the 'interference' of the Guardian Core was more welcome in this particular situation than unwanted."

Director Freed was positively seething after his speech.

"I, too," Lightning's strong voice projected into the room, "have to admit that were it not for the assistance of Officer Thunder Sorrow, I would have met death that day as well." She didn't look at Hope as she spoke however. "It was only through teamwork that we overcame the plight at all."

The honest truth.

"Well," the president raised his eyebrows. "As far as I'm concerned, that sums it all up quite well." He smiled bitterly as he glanced between both Director Freed and Director Bergara. "No charges are to be filed towards any division, and no punishment doled out to any members. This, as Office Sorrow said, was an unfortunate accident." He stood, straightening his suit while looking down at them. "If anything, this only proves that it is not separation between the divisions that is necessary, but cooperation and collaboration." Leaving it at that, he nodded once to the table full of people before heading towards the door.

He left, the hostility in the room spiking as soon as he'd gone. No words were spoken however, eyes darting from one person to the next. Only three people refused to lose focus. Lightning stared straight ahead, her jaw clenched. Hope was intent on the table, and Director Freed was staring daggers into Hope.

Eventually however, Amodar rose to his feet. The large man was one of the few that held no fear of awkward conversation. Walking up behind Snow and Lightning, he placed a hand heavily on one of their shoulders before smiling.

"Meet me outside, all of you," he issued. Nothing else to say, he jostled them good-humoredly before retreating to the door. And as he left, Sazh started to rise from his seat, followed quickly by everyone else as they pushed their chairs back and began to filter from the room.

Once out in the hall, the mood brightened drastically.

"Well, dodged a bullet there!" Amodar laughed, the rest of them doing the same, though their tone were rather uneasy. Everyone besides Lightning anyway. "Who would have thought that the Survey Core would be skinned by one of their own? That Thunder Sorrow guy," he was shaking his head. "He's got to be a pretty standup guy to do something like that. I guarantee, he'll pay for it."

"Yeah…" Snow muttered. "He really saved our asses." His more so than everyone else's.

"Certainly did!" Amodar laughed again. "Well, I'm relieved that everything panned out in the end. But you all must be exhausted after just getting in today and then having to go through all this nonsense. Go home and relax, and all of you take tomorrow off." He nodded, smiling, and they all thanked him.

Deciding he'd said all he had to, Amodar paused for only a moment before turning on his heel and marching down the hall. He whistled as he walked, beyond satisfied with how the hearing had gone.

Yet as he left, no one else dared speak, most of them still beyond shocked. Yet Serah was the quickest to sober, a small smile gracing her lips. Despite how he may look or what name he went by, the same Hope was still in there. Honest and true, he'd done the right thing even though it'd been hard. They never should have doubted him. She hadn't known Hope that long, but even she'd realized that his integrity had been stiffly engrained into every action he took. And it would appear that was still the same even six years later.

Director Bergara came out a few moments later, but she didn't even look at them as she walked by, heading down the hall the same way Amodar had gone. She'd left the door to the conference room open however, the stunned Guardian Core members twitching their heads towards it when the angry voice of Director Freed hit their ears.

"Your behavior was completely unacceptable!" he yelled, those outside able to quickly deduce who he was shouting at. "You're an SES Elite, but I was practically convinced you were part of the Guardian Core! Your loyalty will be brought into question and your rank will be reconsidered!" He was really yelling. "Until a decision can be made, your are herby stripped of your command and suspended from duty! You are to stay grounded in Colony One until further notice! Do I make myself clear?!"

"Yes Sir," Hope replied calmly.

"Good!" And with that, Director Freed, followed by the two lackey's he'd brought with him, stomped out of the conference room. He glared at the squad standing outside as he turned and whipped down the hall, grumbling to himself as he marched furiously away, eventually vanishing around a corner.

"Wow…" Snow awed, his eyes falling to the open conference room door. "He really… punished him." Hope was now practically without a job. And, if the Director was really that angry, he could be dishonorably discharged, which would be on his record and hinder his ability to work anywhere for the rest of his life.

"Of course he did," Sazh scoffed. "He completely humiliated both his Director and the Survey Core, doing what he did. That won't be forgiven, not by a long shot." Even if Hope was able to stay in the Survey Core, he'd still suffer a great deal of punishment. There was no way he was getting out of this unscathed.

"I'm going to go talk to him," Serah decided abruptly, ignoring the odd look she got from Snow as she stepped forward. Shrugging, both her husband and Sazh followed behind. Lightning, however, paused. She watched them, her lips pursing as he considered doing the same.

But she just… couldn't.

Shaking her head, she ripped her attention from the conference room before heading swiftly down the hall. She refused to look back.

"Hope?" Serah questioned quietly as she stepped into the room. Her hands were clamped behind her back as she glanced hesitantly around the room. The silver haired man wasn't hard to spot however. He stood silhouetted by the window, silently staring out onto the base. "Hey, Hope?" Serah said again, creeping around the table until she was sanding beside him. Snow and Sazh stayed by the door however, watching curiously.

"What is it?" Hope eventually asked, refusing to catch any of them in his sight. Whatever he was looking at outside was thoroughly entertaining.

"I just… wanted to thank you for what you did," Serah explained. "I know you're going to have to pay for it, so you should know that it was appreciated." She smiled up at him despite the fact that he refused to look at her.

"There's no need to thank me," he replied, tone soft. "I was only being honest."

"I know," Serah nodded. "But you didn't have to be, so thank you." He didn't reply then, not that Serah was really expecting him to. Instead, she waited a moment before adding one final thought. "Hey, so, if you're going to be in Colony One for a while, you should go see Bartholomew. I know he'd be happy to see you."

Still her words spurred no reaction and, reaching up, she placed her hand lightly on his arm before walking away. Joining Snow and Sazh at the door, they glanced back at him only one last time before turning to leave. Feet tapping down the hallway, their footsteps faded.

And as they did, Hope's eyes fell to the carpet before he turned his head just barely over his shoulder. Staring at the door, he frowned.

* * *

**A/N:** Aw, so Hope was acting like a douche in the beginning, but maybe he's not so bad after all. He pretty much screwed himself over however, poor guy. Now if only Lightning would talk to him, hmmm.

Anyway, the next chapter will probably be quite interesting, so I hope you're all looking forward to it. We're going to finally get into some Hope and Lightning business I think. And I hope you all enjoyed this chapter as well!

THANK YOU AND **R&R** PLEASE!


	4. Chapter 3: Desperation

**Two Birds, A Different Feather**

"_So scared of __**breaking**__ it__  
__That you won't let it __**bend**__  
__And I wrote two hundred letters__  
__I will __**never**__ send__  
__Sometimes these __**cuts**__ are so much __**deeper**__ than they seem__  
__You'd rather __**cover up**__  
__I'd rather let them __**bleed**__  
__So __**let me be**__  
__And I'll __**set you free**_

_I am in **misery**_  
_There ain't nobody who can **comfort** me_  
_Why won't you **answer** me?_  
_The **silence** is slowly **killing** me"_

_**Misery – Maroon 5**_

**Chapter 3: Desperation**

Lips pursed, he stared up at the small house, his nerves spiking the longer he stood there. Behind him, the sun was setting, making it quite obvious that the man that lived alone in the house was home - all the lights were on.

The homes around it were much the same, yet all the small green yards out front were bare. It was getting late and the time for outside festivities had passed. He stood between then and sleep, a limbo that stranded him on the sidewalk.

It'd been six years. Six years since he'd seen his father. Back then, their small house had been one of the first to be finished in the area. Around them, construction had been started, but not completed. And now he felt as though he was looking into the windows of a place he'd never been. He'd wondered, during all those years he'd been gone, if his father had stayed in the same house or if he'd moved on.

From what he'd gathered, Bartholomew was still on the Colony council, which meant that, as far as current wages, he made quite a bit. The economy was still nowhere near what'd been when they'd lived on Cocoon, but it was slowly mending. Even so, the small houses around him were cream of the crop. Most people lived in apartments, or at outposts, or in military barracks.

For one year after they'd started their lives on Cocoon, he'd lived there. The relationship between him and his father had changed for the better. Things between them had been stable, happy even. But he hadn't been able to take the attitudes of the rest of his friends and family. He'd left, allowing his father only a short note concerning his disappearance.

That was the last his father had heard from him.

What would he think of his son now? What would he say?

Would he even welcome him back?

No, he couldn't worry himself over it. Serah had said his father would be happy to see him. He had to trust her words. That wasn't to say their meeting would be perfect, he'd no doubt have some explaining to do, but if his father didn't hate him, then that was still better than what he'd expected.

He had to go knock.

Taking a deep breath, he forced courage into his legs. Slowly, they walked forward, the front door growing closer and closer as his heart sped up in his chest. Before he knew it, he was standing on the small porch, his fist raised hesitantly before the entrance. Gulping, he took one last breath before knocking.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, he probably knew he was holding his breath, but at the moment, it hardly registered. Instead, he kept as still as possible, ready. And because of that, he nearly jumped out of his skin when a voice from inside the house was heard.

"Yes, yes, I'm coming," Bartholomew's words rang forth and Hope could almost imagine him mumbling to himself about rude visitors coming to the door too late. This thought comforted him slightly, but most of his calm was formed from years of discipline. When in tense situations, he was to remain composed. That was what he had to keep telling himself.

_Composure_.

The doorknob clicked; someone was pulling it open.

"Hello?" Bartholomew was looking rather irritated as he glanced up at the tall man standing before him. "Can I… help… you…?" He blinked, is mouth hanging open as his annoyance was overtaken by confusion, his brows furrowing. That was followed by his eyes widening, recognition finally dawning.

"Hi Dad…" Hope replied somewhat lamely, but his father was apparently struck speechless as he looked him up and down, so he'd felt the need to say something. If only to comfort himself by breaking the silence.

"Hope…" Bartholomew whispered after a few more moments, his eyes drawn back to his son's. "You're… you're here…" he shook his head, as if he was having a difficult time comprehending. "And you're… tall." He looked him up and down again.

"Uh, yeah… that happens…" Hope replied quietly, his eyes falling awkwardly to side as he reached up and scratched the back of his head. He knew his physical appearance was going to be a shocker. He'd sprouted quite a bit and was a few inches taller than his father now. When he'd left, he'd only come up to Bartholomew's shoulder.

Yet despite how he'd changed in the last six years, his father appeared relatively the same. He sported some gray hairs now, a few more wrinkles present under his eyes, but, overall, just as Hope had remembered him.

"What… what are you doing here?" Bartholomew stuttered, still unable to get over the fact that his estranged son was standing before him. His question was evidence enough of that.

"I, well…" Hope flicked his attention back to his father. "I'm in town now, for a while, and I… Actually," he sighed. "I'm just going to be honest. I need a place to stay until I can…. figure things out." He didn't have anywhere to go now that he'd been… "suspended." He supposed he could find a bed in the barracks, but considering his rank, that just seemed rather… inappropriate.

"Oh…" Bartholomew blinked. Though his eyebrows were still furrowed, he seemed to be coming down from his shock. "Well… you're always welcome here." Finally finding the motivation to do something other than stare, he backed up, motioning Hope inside. "Come in."

Huffing gratefully, and secretly thankful his father didn't hate him, Hope hesitated for only a moment before walking in. The familiar atmosphere of the house washed over him. He felt safer there, within those confines. As if, when there, none of the problems with the Core existed.

Gently, so as not to make too much noise, he set his two bags on the floor before straightening his yellow jacket, which was light for summer use. He'd long since changed out of his uniform, preferring to hang a loose fitting pair of jeans from his hips and a black tank top from his shoulders. On his feet, he wore a pair of shoes similar to the ones he'd worn as a teenager, the style always being a personal favorite of his. They weren't as cumbersome as boots, but had the high tops so nothing got inside, beneath his feet.

His father slowly closed the door behind them, shutting out what remained of the setting sun. Taking a deep breath, Hope finally turned to face him, flipping his silver hair out of his eyes as he did. They stared at each other for a moment, shrouded in the dim light of the house, before Bartholomew cocked his head slightly to the side. Curiosity dropped across his expression.

"Where have you been?" he finally asked, Hope expecting the question. He expected a number of other ones as well, but, to be frank, this was about the only one he was prepared to answer.

"Well it's… kind of a long story," he explained, his eyes once again falling to the side. It was strange, seeing his father again, and that he was much the same as he'd been when Hope had left. His glasses were the same, and he was even sporting his typical suit. To see them standing next to one another, father and son, created quite the contrast.

Hope had been raised in upper-middleclass, back when they'd lived on Cocoon. His father had worked for the sanctum and his mother had stayed home to take care of him. To top it off, he'd been an only child, which had left him living a rather comfortable life. Never, before he'd become a l'Cie, had it ever been considered that he'd become a soldier of any sort. Had he continued to grow up on Cocoon, he'd have attended one of the best schools his parents could pay for and gone on to do something far more "sophisticated."

It was because of this that he contrasted so greatly with his father, the fact that he'd taken after his mother's looks aside. Bartholomew spent all his days in an office, hunched over a desk. It was for this reason that he was physically soft. Hope, on the other hand, was very much the opposite. Yes, his was built thinner, like his father, but he'd made the most it. He was fast; he was lean, toned. And his fighting skills rivaled the best in the military.

As always, he and his father had very little in common.

"I… I want to hear it all," Bartholomew nodded. "Come," he walked through the open doorway to the living room. "Sit down." Taking a deep breath, Hope nodded and followed after his father. The living room wasn't that big, the walls a dark wood and the floor a cream colored carpet. There were a few couches, some lamps, and his father's collection of books.

They sat down across from one another, a single coffee table between. Both of them leaned forward on their knees, Bartholomew staring intently at Hope, whose gaze was diverted to the side once again.

"Well…" Hope figured he might as well start from the beginning. "I boarded the Survey Core airship and headed north. Because my combat skills were so far advanced, I hadn't had to go through any basic training, so I was shipped out right away. My company was sent to the Northern Caverns, the coldest place that had been thus Surveyed. And we marched. I learned from my Sargent how to write maps, how to know where I was based on the wind currents and the sky. We lived in the cold constantly, surviving in blizzard conditions, so we had to know how to survive.

"Troops got lost a lot, went out and never came back, but that was just the way it worked. It was our job to survey, so that's what we'd do." Bartholomew had pursed his lips, know doubt envisioning his fifteen year old son in such horrid conditions. "After a while however, I was removed from the Survey Company and placed in the Guard Company, which means we scouted ahead and cleared the path of potential threats before the surveyors came through to calculate.

"It didn't take long for my superiors to realize none of it was really new to me. I excelled quickly and by the time I was seventeen, or twenty, as they thought, I was leading my own squadron. By this time, many of the Survey's had begun to graduate east, which meant we were starting to leave the cold. Because the weather was warmer, a lot of outposts started popping up, but they were constantly being attacked by monsters. So the local commanders, from east of the Caverns to the Edge, decided to put together a group that was dedicated to exterminating the threats to the outposts, mostly because we were all so far away that no one from the Guardian Core could ever make it there fast enough. And, well, I signed up. That small group eventually became the Survey Elite Squad, or SES," Bartholomew nodded, hinting that he knew what the SES was, "and as I was one of the few already combat trained specialists, I was given a team and that's where I stayed for the rest of my service." Actually, there was more to it than that. Because he'd been desired as a ground combatant, he'd actually switched between teams, going wherever was needed. It was for this reason that he'd led a rather solo existence, never really getting to know anyone or staying in a single place.

"And the reason I'm here now," he continued, "is because my last mission went poorly, at no ones fault, but the director tried to use the casualties as an excuse to pick a fight with the Guardian Core, and I… disagreed with him, so now I'm grounded to Colony One for insubordination."

Bartholomew leaned against the back of the couch, his arms crossing over his chest. He'd narrowed his eyes, staring at his son thoughtfully.

"Then that means… you're Thunder Sorrow…" Cocking a single eyebrow, Hope didn't comment, though he was visibly surprised that his father was familiar with his alter ego. "Ever since you joined the Survey Core," he explained, "I've been keeping up on the news and everything they're doing, trying to… catch a glimpse of you. Thunder Sorrow was the top soldier in the Core, mentioned in the news coming in from the Edge quite a bit. Even to those in other divisions, he's someone to respect. If they knew who he was." Hope wasn't sure if that was pride he noted in his father's tone or not. "Of course, most don't waste their time with news from the Survey Core…"

"We're not exactly the most respected division," Hope verified, only somewhat bitter. Frankly, he didn't care about the SC's reputation. They were so far removed from civilization that, to those stationed out and beyond, the opinions of everyone else were irrelevant, and rather nonexistent.

"You should be," Bartholomew stated sternly. "It's the most dangerous division in the military. And Thunder Sorrow, well, he's the best of the best in the worst possible conditions." He paused for only a moment. "You know, I noticed that Thunder never had any pictures in the papers, or anywhere else," his lips pulled into a small smile. "I guess, to a certain degree, I suspected."

"You knew who I was?" Hope furrowed his eyebrows in surprise. That hadn't been what he'd expected to hear.

"I wondered," Bartholomew shrugged. "I knew, when you joined, that you'd enter already surpassing your peers. You're a l'Cie Hope. I've seen what you're capable of. And, like I said, you didn't ever have any pictures. It wasn't that far of a stretch to figure it out, if you knew where look."

"I suppose…" Hope agreed. And here he'd thought he'd done a good job hiding his identity. Then again, it sounded as if his father had delved pretty deeply into Survey Core business. Far more than the average person. "If you've been keeping up with the Core, then did you know I was currently in Colony One?"

"I knew Thunder Sorrow was in Colony One," Bartholomew confirmed. "I didn't expect him to show up at my house." He smiled a little wider then. "After all, he's a busy man, getting all those awards and honors. Saving people's lives. He leads a rather impressive lifestyle."

"Uh, yeah, I guess…" Hope agreed somewhat sheepishly. He got praise for his actions all the time, but not from his father. He didn't deserve it, being recognized for such things by someone he'd hurt so badly. "If you suspected who I was, then why didn't you come after me?" He assumed a pursuit would have followed his uncovering.

"Well, by the time stories of you started to come in through the news, you were eighteen, nineteen years old. I couldn't have done anything, even if I'd wanted to." Hope nodded, understanding. "And I figured that… that if you wanted to contact me, you'd… you'd do it. I wasn't going to intrude on your… new life." His father glanced down at his lap, Hope feeling his heart plummet to his stomach with guilt.

"It's not that I didn't want to contact you…" Hope murmured softly. "I just… didn't know how. Not back then; not after the horrible way I'd left things between us." That stupid note. "And by the time I was old enough to consider it, I was lost on knowing how. It'd felt like it'd been so long so I just… ignored it." He'd tried to forget about Hope Estheim and become Thunder entirely. But it'd never truly worked.

"What spurred you to come back now?" Bartholomew asked, his voice sounding only of curiosity.

"Well, I was here," he shrugged off the first reason. "And… and Serah, she said you'd be happy to see me. I guess I'd been afraid you wouldn't have wanted to, but I knew she'd never lie. Not about something like that."

"So you've seen some of your friends?" Bartholomew questioned curiously. "Though I suppose you would have. They were the Guardian Core squad involved with your last mission." He really did keep up on the news.

"I… encountered them," was his lame explanation. "I wouldn't say I've seen them. It was all more… official than friendly." Bartholomew nodded in understanding, seeming thoughtful but not voicing why.

"You should know," his father started, "that I'll never turn you away, no matter how long you're gone. You're my son Hope and this is your home. Always know that." He hmfed. "And you should talk to your friends. They've missed you a lot, especially that older, pink haired one. Lightning."

"I know…" a sigh left Hopes lungs as he leaned back against the couch. "I don't even know what I'd say to them though… or to her." Bitterness overcame his expression. "Light hit me the last time she saw me." He reached up and caressed his cheek, which had long since ceased being sore. "After the mission from a few days ago."

"You deserved it," his father stated simply, causing him to chuckle shortly.

"Yeah… I did…" he pushed Lightning from his head. Thinking about her was just… too overwhelming. He'd have to face her eventually, he knew that, but for the time being he'd continue to ignore her.

"Why… why did you leave?" Bartholomew finally asked the question Hope had been dreading. "Or, rather, why in that fashion? You just… cut yourself off from everyone and everything. Why?" It was apparent his father had pondered the question many times, and never found an answer. "Were you not happy here?"

Hope took a deep breath, trying to find the best way to answer a question he didn't exactly want to talk about. "It wasn't that I wasn't happy. I mean, I guess I wasn't, but it… it didn't have anything to do with you." He caught his father's eye. "When I was with you, I was happy, but…" he shook his head. "I… I really don't want to talk about it, to be honest." He didn't want to leave his father without an answer, but facing those reasons was just… difficult. Ignoring things was so much easier.

"Alright," Bartholomew eventually nodded. "But… were you really that trapped that you had to… run away? Wasn't there any other way you could have… dealt with whatever you were dealing with?"

"I don't know," Hope shrugged. "I think I had something to prove, more than anything else."

"And did you?" his father cocked a curious brow.

"That… has yet to be determined," Hope smiled, laughing slightly. "We'll see." Or they wouldn't. Hope hadn't really decided yet. All those feelings from when he'd originally left had been buried for so long. He wasn't quite sure how he felt about anything… anymore.

"Well, keep me updated," Bartholomew smiled as well. "And from now on, if you're mentioned in the news, let them take your picture. I'd like to be able to go into work and show all my coworkers that my son is the famous Thunder Sorrow, even if that name is a bit of a downer."

"No problem," Hope laughed again, thankful that he'd been able to ease himself back into his father's life so effortlessly. Yet, at the same time, that fact was disconcerting. He'd hadn't expected to be welcomed so… warmly. "But…" he narrowed his eyes at his father. "Aren't you… angry with me?"

Bartholomew took a deep breath. "I was," he nodded. "But that didn't last long. For a while I was just… confused. And hurt." Hope pursed his lips. "After a while though, I came to understand that whatever it was your were doing, you had to do it. Just like when you'd left to complete your l'Cie Focus. You're a lot like your mother you know," he smiled shrewdly. "She always did what she wanted. One way or another. And she always had a reason."

"Yeah, she did…" Hope replied quietly, remembering that day she'd picked up a gun and followed Snow into battle.

"You're independent, just like she was. And I knew, whether you were fifteen or a little older, that I couldn't hold you back. If you set your mind to something, then, well, that was it. You get what you want Hope. That's one of the best things about you." He paused. "So if you did leave to prove something, to yourself or… someone else, then I know you'll succeed."

"Thanks…" Hope murmured, somewhat embarrassed and unsure of what to make of his father's implications.

"Not that you haven't already," Bartholomew continued. "Succeed I mean. I've read all the reports about you, all those medals. Your resume is… impressive."

"It _was_," Hope shrugged. "As of now, I'm hardly entitled to any of that, at least as far as the Director is concerned." If he really was charged with insubordination, then all that could be stripped from him. It hardly seemed fair, but it was true nonetheless.

"Never," Bartholomew shook his head. "They can _try_ and take that away from you, but history speaks for itself. Besides, from what I've gathered, if they did act out against you, you have pretty good grounds to fight back." Hope nodded, supposing that was true. He would prefer to avoid all the drama however, if he could. "And it's not like there weren't other witnesses to what happened."

"No, you're right," Hope nodded. "Serah, Snow, everyone was there." All the l'Cie; some of the most valued members of the military. Their word held a good amount of weight when used in the correct fashion.

"When are you going to see them next?" Bartholomew asked, Hope shrugging in response. He hadn't even considered making plans with them. He'd known, somewhere in the back of his mind, that, since they'd found him, he'd have to reconcile. No doubt, they had just as many questions as his father had, if not more. "I know they've all been worried about you. Ever since you left. They searched for you for weeks."

"That doesn't exactly make me want to see them any sooner…" Hope admitted, his father chuckling at his response.

"Well, might as well make it as quick and painless as possible," Bartholomew admitted. "Postponing it is only going make it worse. What about tomorrow? They all just got back so they probably have some time off." Hope pursed his lips. "They can all come over here, we'll have dinner." His son still wasn't convinced. "It'll be fine, trust me."

Still no response, which seemed to humor Bartholomew further. "Well, you think about it," the older man continued as he rose to his feet. "But, speaking of dinner, are you hungry? I'll go whip something up. It won't be anything compared to what your mother's cooking was, but I can try."

"It'll be great Dad," Hope assured, though his father still seemed positively doubtful. Walking around the coffee table, he paused to stare down at his son, who was meeting his gaze with those big green eyes.

Reaching forward, he placed his hand on Hope's cheek, his smile fading into a tight, straight line.

"You look so much like her," he whispered, Hope blinking, unsure what to do about his father's abrupt show of affection. So he stayed frozen. "Please don't disappear again Hope. I don't think I can keep living without _both_ of you."

Hope's heart was stuck in his throat, his mouth gaping open as he blinked up at his father. His father, who never acted on sentiment, who'd always been disciplined and without sympathy for dramatic shows of affection. He didn't know how to respond, what he should do, so he sat. He allowed his father his failing, the crack that was running up through his resolve to remain apathetic.

Breath shaking, Bartholomew pursed his lips as he stepped forward. Bending down, he closed his eyes as he placed his lips upon the top of his son's silvery hair.

His son, who was finally home.

"Thank you for coming back."

He stood like that for a few more moments before finally straightening. His hand remained against his son's cheek for a second longer before that too fell away, stiff space bubbling between them once again.

They both took a deep breath.

"So are you hungry for anything in particular?" Bartholomew asked, raising his eyebrows expectantly.

"No Dad," Hope shook his head, a small smile softly gracing his face. "Whatever you have is fine." His father nodded, a thoughtful glint entering his gaze as he pinched his chin between his fingers.

"Hey Dad?" Hope drew his father's attention back to him. "…Thank you."

Bartholomew, expression relaxing slightly, nodded, the two staring at each other for only a moment longer before the older man turned and headed towards the kitchen.

Taking a deep breath, Hope sat back in the couch again. Leaning his head back, he closed his eyes.

**oOo**

"What do you mean you don't think you're going to go?" Serah asked, clearly affronted as she stared at her older sister. Lightning, however, could only sigh and shake her head as she continued to pull her delicates from the clothes washer, dropping the wet garments into a woven basket beside her feet. Next to her, Serah had been doing the same thing, that was, until she'd heard Lightning's response to her question.

"I mean exactly that," Lightning replied, her tone even and chilled, as always. "I have a lot of work to catch up on and-"

"And no excuse you have is going to work!" Serah interrupted, clearly flabbergasted by her sister's behavior. "Bartholomew invited us for dinner with Hope so we're going to go, end of story." Shaking her head, the younger sister returned to her laundry.

"Serah," Lightning sighed. "I can't go." She didn't elaborate past that, which wasn't helping her defense any. But what was she supposed to say? That she didn't want to see Hope because the grown-up he'd become ripped a hole in her chest? Because the only Hope she wanted anything to do with was gone forever?

Replaced by _Thunder_.

"No, you just don't _want_ to go," Serah replied knowingly. Dropping the last of her clothes into her basket, the younger of the two focused again on her sister. "You can't avoid him forever Claire. He's eventually going to notice you're ignoring him. People tend to see the signs of rejection when their ex-best friend doesn't even show up to their welcome home dinner."

"What do you want from Serah?" Lightning asked quietly, shaking her head as she placed a disappointingly misshapen bra into her basket. "He's the one that left, that chose to live his life without us. And now he thinks he can just come back and everything is going to be okay? That's not how it works."

"Okay, maybe you're right," Serah shrugged, the two women finishing their laundry before they shut the clothes washers and turned towards the door. "But tell me then, how _does_ it work?" A valid question as far as the younger was concerned.

"I don't know," Lightning replied as they walked out into the early afternoon sun. "But I know it's not as easy as having dinner and things just magically get better. He left. He left us all and didn't have the decency to do it to our faces. He left a note Serah. What am I supposed to do with a note?!" She hadn't meant to sound so angry, but it was just so infuriating to think about.

"You're right, he has acted like a jerk. He left without telling anyone and didn't even contact us for nearly six years. But, who knows, maybe he has a good reason for doing what he did. Either way, you'll never know if you don't give him a chance." They made their way down the sidewalk back towards their apartments. They lived next door to one another, Snow and Serah beside Lightning.

"I don't want to know…" Lightning murmured.

"I know you don't," Serah verified simply. "You're afraid to know because you think it was your fault, which is completely ridiculous." Lightning pursed her lips. "You haven't been able to come up with anything that you did wrong, so why are you trying so hard to search for one? Hope's reason for leaving didn't have anything to do with you. Thinking it did is just silly."

"Then why didn't he say anything?" Lightning asked, more to herself than her sister.

"He didn't say anything to anyone," Serah reminded her. "He didn't want anyone to try and stop him, so why would he tell you, the most elite solider out of all of us? Of course, if he wanted to get away with what he did, he wouldn't tell you." Despite her sister's logical words, Lightning wasn't comforted. She and Hope had been close, or so she'd thought. Yet he'd never mentioned anything about his plans to leave. Like he'd been keeping it a secret from her.

Or at least that was how she felt. Like there was some big, huge secret that Hope had been keeping from her. And if it was that big of a deal, she wasn't sure she wanted to hear anything about it.

Whatever it was, he'd kept it a secret for a reason.

"You're going to dinner," Serah continued, her tone final. "And if you refuse, I'll have Snow carry you there. But I'm not letting you run away from this. You have to face him sooner or later, so might as well get it over with." They were now standing outside their respective doorways, Serah attempting to stare her sister down.

Whether it worked however would remain a mystery because Lightning turned away, refusing to give a response as she headed towards her apartment.

"I'll see you, ready to leave, in thirty minutes!" Serah shouted after her, Lightning pushing her way inside her apartment before slamming the door closed behind her. Thankful for the silence, she whisked her way into her bathroom before dumping her wet delicates across the counter. Due to a lack of funds, many apartment complexes hadn't installed clothes dryers, so they had to air dry. That was why Lightning had a wire hanging from one side of her bathroom to the other, dozens of clips attached to it. She and Serah shared a clothesline outside, on the backside of their apartment, but it was hardly appropriate to hang her underwear outside for the world to see. So she hung it in her bathroom instead.

Movements quick and to the point, she started to snap her laundry up on the wire, the muscles in her jaw growing tenser with each clip she snapped.

Serah just didn't understand. She claimed they were going to a dinner with Hope and Bartholomew, but Hope didn't exist, not anymore. He was gone and Lightning didn't want to see Thunder. He was a thief and a liar and the more she thought about him, the more she hated him. And considering she'd been thinking about him nearly twenty-four seven, her hatred had graduated past any measurable point.

But her sister was going to force her to go. She'd have to act civilly and speak with him. That stranger with those oddly familiar green eyes and shaggy silver hair. Those things belonged to Hope, not him, and it angered her so much that he possessed them. Maybe she was crazy, that was, for thinking this way, but she couldn't help it. She wanted those years he'd been gone back. She'd wanted to see him become what he was supposed to be.

She'd wanted to _be there_!

Growling to herself, she was so focused on her rage that she snapped herself in the finger. Swearing, she dropped her wet panty and hugged her throbbing digit in her fist.

Just another thing to hate Thunder for.

Scowling, she sat down on the edge of her tub and closed her eyes. Finger still held in her fist, she took deep breath after deep breath. She had to calm down. It would appear she was going to be forced to the Estheim residence one way or another, so she had to be prepared. She'd go, she'd play her part, but she wouldn't talk to him. Or look at him. Or anything!

Yes, because that was totally possible when she was headed to a dinner being held to welcome him back.

The ache in her finger finally fading, she allowed her shoulders to drop as she placed her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands.

What was she going to do…?

**oOo**

Serah happily knocked on the door, her upbeat attitude only seeming to down Lightning's further. Together, the three of them, Snow included, stood outside Bartholomew's house, waiting to be let in.

And, much to Lightning's chagrin, they were greeted mere seconds later.

"Hello!" Bartholomew welcomed them with a smile. It was apparent right away how much more cheerful he was than normal. Not that such a development could be labeled as surprising. His son was home, finally, and that was something to celebrate. "Come in everyone," he continued. "Sazh and Dajh are already here. They're with Hope in the living room."

Walking in, Serah and Snow exchanged pleasant conversation with Bartholomew, the group slowly making their way into the house. Lightning stayed some ways behind however, her arms crossed over her chest. Serah's laugh rang somewhere in the back of her mind, as well as the rest of their voices.

She was too anxious to be focused on anything. That was, anything but the man she couldn't get out of her head. She didn't want a thing to do with him, yet he plagued her consciousness with a prodding type of presence. The longer she allowed him to poke at her, the more irritated she got.

But she had to control herself. Just get through this and it'd all be over.

One afternoon.

"_There_ he is!" Serah's sweet voice echoed across the living room as they finally came upon what Lightning decided was an infamous doorway. Snow and her sister entered quickly, Bartholomew following after. Sitting on the couches, and glancing up at the newcomers, were Sazh and his son, and _Thunder_, as Lightning referred to him.

The silver haired man was wearing a rather offending orange button-up shirt, which was left open over a black tank top and jeans. And Lightning tried not to be offended by the color. Though if she was, she wasn't sure if it was because the hue in itself was bright and offensive in nature, or because it'd been one of Hope's favorite colors.

"I'm so glad we finally get to see you outside of work!" Serah continued as she scooted her way over, wrapping her arms tightly around Thunder, who appeared mildly surprised before casting her a tight smile. Snow held out his hand, the two sharing in a firm, _manly_ shake. At first, Lightning wondering if perhaps her sister's husband would share bad blood with Thunder over their last direct encounter, but when he smiled, Lightning knew her hopes were to be dashed.

Why was she the only one that was so angry?

"You have to tell us everything," Serah continued, Lightning glancing to the floor as she remained standing by the door. She continued to cross her arms, giving off an obviously disapproving vibe. And in her attempts to ignore what was going on, to try and fade into the background, the guest of honor had glanced up at her, his expression becoming one of unease before Serah had grabbed his attention again.

"That's what I said," Sazh added with a laugh. "But Bartholomew said we might as well wait for everyone to get here before he explains. I guess it's some kind of long story or something," his tone became sarcastic. "I mean, since it's only been six years and all." Hope smiled tightly once again, a bitterness about his expression.

"Thank you Sazh," he nodded to the older man, "for that _totally_ necessary reminder." A few laughs followed his response, Sazh simply shrugging innocently. Lightning, however, from her dark corner at the back of the room, pursed her lips. She didn't understand how they were all forgiving him so easily, acting as if what he'd done had been nothing at all. Was she the only one that was furious? That was still hurt?

Yet even this thought process pushed her into further irritation. _Why_ was she the only one that felt this way? Didn't any of them see that this man wasn't Hope? Didn't any of them understand that… that seeing him like this was supposed to hurt?

"It _was_ a long time," Bartholomew defended from his stance standing beside the group. "It took a little while for you to tell me, and that was what I knew to be a summarization."

"No summaries!" Serah stated firmly. "Tell us everything. I mean, you're Thunder Sorrow," Lightning pursed her lips. "You must have accomplished quite a lot while you were gone to have become so high ranking in the Survey Core."

"She's right," Snow nodded, a devious glint to his eyes. "Tell us what you've been doing Mr. _Sorrow_. Nice name, by the way," the blonde began to tease. "It speaks of optimism." The others laughed, all but Hope, who sighed. It would appear that Lightning hadn't been the only one to notice the contradiction between his real name and the one he'd given himself.

"I am aware that it's… unorthodox," Hope defended. "There's not much I can do about it now though." He took a deep breath, seeming to compose himself. "I believe it was how I've spent my time these last years, not the origins of my name, that you were all interested in however."

"I'd be interested to hear both," Serah interjected. "But start wherever you want. Trust me when I say that I'll know everything by the time we leave here tonight." Her statement almost sounded like a threat, which had probably been intentional.

"Well, I've already heard the story," Bartholomew explained. "At least, what Hope wanted to tell me." Because he knew his son was leaving out important facts, like the "_why"_ of the whole situation. "So I'm going to go keep track of dinner while all of you catch up." He gestured back through the original doorway, which led to the kitchen as well. Nodding once to the group, he turned and, glancing only quickly at Lightning, retreated out of sight.

"So?" Serah was sitting across from Hope, Snow right beside her. "What happened?" She was smiling still, just itching to hear.

"Uh, well," Hope scratched the back of his head. "We headed north, towards the Northern Caverns…"

Lightning refused to listen, she didn't want to. None of his exploits interested her, not in the least. As far as she was concerned, none of what he'd done should be praised. Not when he'd left them all the way he had. So he'd gone on to become some great soldier. It didn't matter to her. The fact that he'd left without even saying a word spoke volumes about his respect for them, for her, and so she'd treat him the same way.

By leaving.

Silently, she turned back out the doorway, completely ignoring how Hope paused in his story as se retreated, and that everyone else turned to watch her go. Instead, she focused her attention on the kitchen. She'd go help Bartholomew, that'd give her something to do. Get her mind distracted.

Maybe, if she was lucky.

"Don't… don't mind her," Serah tried to comfort when she saw that Hope's stare was still trained on where Lightning had been previously standing. He'd fallen silent in his storytelling, his eyes narrowing. "She's just… having a hard time adjusting to the fact that you're back, that's all."

Hope didn't comment.

"You know how she can be," Snow started in. "She's always been stubborn. I mean, I'm stubborn too, but…" Their defenses weren't helping much. It wasn't as though Hope could simply ignore Lightning's behavior, or pass it off as something irrelevant. No amount of minimizing was going change that fact.

"She didn't take it well when you left," Sazh interjected gently, his eyebrows furrowing as he displayed his typical wisdom. "Maybe you should go talk to her." Hope, considering the suggestion, twitched his gaze to the floor. Truth be told, he didn't exactly have a choice. He had to talk to her.

One way or another, he'd have to face her.

Standing, he didn't say anything as he stared at the door. As he, hesitating for only a moment, walked his way around the couch. He followed the path that both his father and Lightning had taken, his nerves spiking as his heart raced inside his chest.

But part of him was irritated as well. A small section of his brain, which was quickly taking over his concern and hesitation, was screaming that Lightning didn't need to be acting this way. It was obvious she was peeved, whether that was an understatement or not, and the forced voice in his head was insisting that she didn't have the right to be. He'd left because of her, because of all of them, and how they'd treated him.

This was his plight and it was wrong that she'd make it about herself.

At least, that was what he tried to tell himself.

Forcing his breathing to remain calm, Hope walked down the short hall that opened up into the kitchen. Unlike the living room, sunlight filtered in from outside, large windows lining the wall. To the left half of the space was a small dining table, four chairs sitting around it, and to the right, bordered by counters, was the kitchen. Standing at the stove was his father, and at the counter, cutting an onion with a rather large knife, was Lightning.

Hope didn't say anything at first, instead clipping his thumbs into his pockets as he watched her. It'd surprised him, after they'd completed their Focus, to see Lightning outside her uniform. He'd grown so accustomed to her warrior looks that it hadn't occurred to him that she'd dress differently off duty. The first time he'd seen her as such, he'd been flabbergasted.

Why? Because though Lightning was tough as nails, she chose to dress much more femininely than perhaps expected. Like her sister, she'd shown an affinity for above the knee dresses and skirts, though she was a fair bit more conservative than her little sister. Standing before him, she wore a simple, clean, pure white shirtdress, the sleeves folded up to her elbows. It was both professional and elegant, at least on her, and Hope was struck remembering that she'd always looked best in white.

But unlike Serah, though she preferred the shorter, freer styles, Lightning was generally more unadventurous. Over her legs she donned dark green leggings, and on her feet were a pair of slate gray ankle boots. Simple, to the point, and without frills. Lightning through and through.

Moving from the stove to the counter, Bartholomew caught Hope standing at the door, his eyebrows rising in surprise. He looked as though he was going to say something, but then thought better of it. Looking from his son to Lightning, who was still focused on her task, he decided that perhaps he'd better leave.

Reaching out to Lightning, Bartholomew tapped her on the shoulder, gesturing only quickly to Hope before granting her a tight smile. Backing out of the kitchen, he didn't bother looking at his son was he left, headed back towards the living room. Hope didn't need any warnings about Lightning's attitude. The way she was currently staring at him, jaw tight, said more than enough on the subject.

Hope sighed, looking back at her without wavering, which only seemed to irritate her further. Snapping back to the counter, she continued to harshly cut at the onion, completely ignoring the elephant in the room. Her denial of his presence caused Hope to roll his eyes before he walked further into the room.

"You can't give me the silent treatment forever," he muttered, his soft voice clearly heard. "I noticed that you weren't around when Serah, Snow, and Sazh came to see me after the hearing. I'm not daft." He didn't get a response, Lightning even more intent on her chopping than ever before.

"I'm here whether you want to acknowledge it or not," he continued, yet still she refused to so much as look at him. Bitterly, he cocked a single eyebrow. "You're acting like a child."

"_I'm_ acting like a child?!" Turning up, she hissed the words at him, her blue eyes glowing. So he'd finally gotten her attention. Though by the looks of it, that might not have been a good thing. "Then what have you been doing for the last six years?" Her insinuation was obvious, that she viewed the entirety of his exploits as infantile, which didn't bode well with Hope.

Actually, it pissed him off quite thoroughly.

Snapping back to her onion, Lightning began stabbing the vegetable more than cutting it.

"Would you mind _elaborating_ on your opinion?" Hope asked testily as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Or is it something I'm not going to understand? I mean, if all I've been doing the last six years is running around like a child, then I suppose it can only be assumed that your level of thinking is beyond me." Lightning did look up at him then, her eyes narrowed.

"What's _that_ supposed to mean?" she snapped, clearly not understanding his reference, which caused Hope to roll his eyes and turn away from her. Instead, he focused on the window, anger bubbling inside him. "You're the one that left, you don't have the right to act like I did something wrong."

"Really?!" Hope whipped back around to face her again. "I'm so glad you've decided that for me. Please, tell me what else I'm allowed to feel and not feel. I'd really like to know what my restrictions are since I've come back." She still wasn't understanding, her lips tightening as his words echoed across the room.

"What are you talking about?" she asked rather rudely. "Obviously, you don't have any restrictions. You go off and do whatever you want without even telling anyone. As far as I'm concerned, you can do whatever you want. I don't care." She returned to her onion only to find that it was completely sliced, which only served as another irritant.

"You're right," he feigned agreement. "I _can_ do whatever I want. I'm an adult, so I suppose that comes with the territory." Lightning hmfed skeptically. "Oh, so you _do_ disagree?" Because he was _so_ surprised. "And here I'd thought I was finally on the same level as the rest of you. I guess it must be my misguided, childish mind that made me think so."

"What are you even saying?!" Lightning snapped, her knife falling to the counter as she whipped around to face him.

"I don't know Light, what are _you_ saying?" he countered sharply, his green eyes unwavering as he stared at her.

"You know exactly what I'm saying!" she spat quickly. "You can't just come waltzing back and act like you didn't do anything wrong. _You're_ the one that left, that didn't tell anyone you were-"

"And what would have happened if I _had_ told you?" Hope interrupted. "Let's see, I doubt there'd be any kind of support for my decision, or friendly advice despite the fact that you'd disagreed with me. No, I'm pretty sure you would have simply told me that no, I couldn't do that, and when I'd have argued with you about it, you'd have told my father. And then I'd have been punished. Maybe you would have even tried to send me to my room. Oh wait, I forgot. You _have_ done that."

"Is that was this is about?" Lightning shook her head, obviously disgusted with him. "Because I treated you like you deserved to be treated?" Hope had to bite his tongue to stop himself from interrupting her again. "You were fifteen years old, of course I would have stopped you. You were just a kid!" And as far as she could tell, he still was.

"Yes, you're right, that's all I was. A kid," he nodded, as if he agreed. "I didn't have any idea about anything that went on in the real world. I was immature and clueless and couldn't have fathomed what I was getting myself into. Thank you Light for always knowing what was best for me. I should have stayed and gone back to school, and hung out with teenagers my own age. Because I was _totally_ capable of relating to them."

"Your sarcasm is getting a little old," Lightning hissed through gritted teeth.

"Well your _patronization_ is getting a little old," he rebuked, a slight snarl echoing in his tone. And unbeknownst to both of them, the room next door was silent, the walls hardly thick enough to hide their rising voices.

"What are you even saying?!" Lightning slammed her hands down on the counter. "That I should have supported your idiotic decision to join the Core at fifteen? There's a required age of eighteen for a reason!"

"You're missing the point!" Hope stated loudly. "After everything that happened, my age didn't matter anymore. I went through everything that the rest of you did, I fought alongside you; I was there! Yet somehow you all seemed to have forgotten that!"

"That didn't make you an adult!" Lightning argued. "It made you a kid that got dragged into a situation where you really had no place being! You were made into a l'Cie against your will just like the rest of us. We were desperate! You had to keep up then, but that doesn't mean-"

"That doesn't mean I can't just forget about it and have everything go back to normal when I came back, right?" Hope interjected, shaking his head. "You know, contraire to what all of you 'adults' may have thought, it doesn't work that way. I can't just erase what we went through and go back to life the way it was before. That's impossible! You can't protect me from everything I learned and saw!"

"What would you have _preferred_ then?" Lightning asked shortly. "That we encourage young teenagers to join the military? That's the most mature thing you've said this whole time. Thank you for that wonderful, _adult_ insight."

"You've got to be joking," Hope, smiling bitterly, shook his head again. "Is that honestly what you took from that? Really?" He glanced out the window again, frowning before he looked back at Lightning. "You want to know why I left? Why I didn't tell anyone? Because you were all so obsessed with convincing me to ignore what had happened that I wasn't allowed to _do_ _anything_!" The snarl had returned to his voice.

"We were trying to _protect_ you!" Lightning snapped, their voices rising in caliber all the time. "Why should you have been forced to fight and rebuild our world when you were just a child? We were-"

"You were trying to make me into something I would never be ever again!" he yelled, finally beginning to succumb to his temper. "After everything we went through, and you all just left me behind! Like I wasn't going to be able to comprehend! Well, news flash, it was a little late for that!"

"You were just a child!" Lightning yelled back.

"I was _never_ going to be a child again!" he shouted, his hands out before him as he tried to get this point across. "Don't you get that?! No amount of pampering and sheltering was going to change anything! Did it make you all feel better, thinking you were somehow sparing me the graphic details of reality?! Because it was horrible for me!"

Lightning pursed her lips into silence.

"I was never going to be able to relate to anyone my age ever again. And yet you all forced me to try! I was betrayed by society, chased and hated just like all of you. How was I supposed to then fit into the immature drama of teenagers when I knew that it was all completely irrelevant?! When I knew that every single thing kids my age worried about was utter foolishness? Yet you all pushed me as close to them as possible, like their ignorance was somehow going to suck the understanding out of me!

"You were all supposed to be my friends! You were my peers, not them," he gulped, trying to get his emotions back under control. "And you all left me behind."

"We were trying to protect you, not-"

"Well I don't want to be protected anymore! Least of all by you!" She flinched, her eyes twitching to the counter as hurt at his comment quickly flashed across her expression. It was gone as quickly as it'd come however, replaced by anger. "Not if I don't have the right to protect you as well. I thought we were supposed to be partners, but as soon as our l'Cie Focus was finished, you placed me on this… level below you!"

"We worked together because we had to!" she defended. "You were a child!"

"Will you quit saying that!" his chest was huffing. "My childhood was stolen from me by the Fal'Cie and no amount of pressure from any of you is ever going to change that! Maybe I was only fifteen, but I _wasn't_ a child! And the fact that you suddenly changed and treated me that way… You acted like you were supposed to be some kind of surrogate mother for me! I didn't need you to be my mother! I didn't need your reprimands or your lies about what was really happening on Pulse! You were supposed to be my friend!"

"I was!" Lightning yelled. "And then you left!"

"I left because I was so stifled that I had no other choice!" was his equally as furious reply. "You and everyone else were the only people in the entire _world_ that I could relate to, and you all built this wall around me and trapped me inside! You left me alone with no one to talk to and no viable way to communicate! Everything that came out of my mouth was pushed aside, not taken seriously. None of you would listen!

"How was I supposed to feel? You all abandoned me to live in a hole where you all got to stare down at me and make my decisions. The only person that had any right to act the way you all had was my father! And, as it turns out, he has more respect for my ability to think on my own than any of you had!"

"Well then you should have said something!" Lightning screamed back at him, beyond herself with hurt and confusion.

"I _tried_!" his voice echoed across the whole house. "But none of you were listening! How many times did I have to show up at your apartment, _alone_, and begging you to tell me what you'd done that day and how things were _really_ going?! How many times did you ask me if I'd made any friends my own age only to be answered that I had none?! That I couldn't make any because no one understood! Yet you pushed me aside, attributing my behavior to immaturity, to me just wanting attention! My behavior was a complete _joke_ to you!"

"That doesn't mean you had to _leave_!" Lightning shrieked, unable to contain her own agony. "Maybe I was overprotective, but you were my best friend! And you left and didn't even have the decency to say anything! You were gone for _six years_ and I can't even recognize you anymore!" And she didn't want to! She just wished he would go away because it was all just too painful.

"Good!" Hope snapped, knowing full well that his comment was insensitive, but not caring. "Maybe now you won't be so convinced that I'm below you that you'll actually see me for who I am! That's why I left! So that I could come back as someone you'd be able to take seriously!"

"Well I don't see you as anyone!" she screamed back. "I don't know you and I don't want to know you! You're not Hope, you're some disgusting lookalike that didn't even bother to write for the whole time you were gone! I don't want anything to do with you!"

"**Fine**!" Hope yelled even louder than before, even more wounded by her words than he'd been by anything she'd ever said. "I don't want anything to do with you either! Being around you is too painful! It always was! And if you'll never be able to see me as someone worthy of your trust and honesty, then I'll be better off without you!"

"You _did_ have my trust and honesty, but you threw it all away! You abandoned me too!"

"I had the trust and honesty from you that you'd give a younger brother, which was the last thing I wanted! You were _everything_ to me! I wanted my world to revolve around you, but you pushed me aside, putting me in a position that I tried to fight but couldn't! So I left! I swore I'd come back as an adult!"

"You _are_ a child!" Lightning spat, not knowing what to make of his words and too hurt to comprehend.

"Look at me Light!" he spread his arms, as if to draw attention to his physical being. "I wasn't a child the day I left, but you couldn't see past my age! Well I'm old enough now that it doesn't matter. You just don't want to see the difference! That's why you were refusing to look at me, isn't it?!"

"I refused to look at you because you're not the boy I knew!" she confirmed. "And I hate you for ripping him away from me! You're a stranger to me and I'll never want anything to do with you! Not after what you did!"

"I'm still the same person Light!" he stated. "But that's just too complicated for you to understand, isn't it? Because it doesn't make sense for you to treat me now the way you did before, and without that buffer, you're afraid me!"

"I _despise_ you!"

"Well I loved you," he admitted simply, shrugging when her jaw tightened even further than it already was. "More than anyone in the world. But none of that matters now. It's amazing, isn't it, how bitterness can turn something as pure as love into the complete opposite. So congratulations, you've done it because I _despise_ you too."

"Stay away from me!"

"You don't need to tell me twice," Hope verified. "Trust me when I say that I have no intention of talking to you ever again."

They stared at each other for only a moment longer then, Hope eventually turning away. He stalked from the room, Lightning's eyes trailing him the whole way. And when he disappeared into the hall, it took all of her control not to give into the tremble echoing up and down her body. Her heart fluttered inside her chest, seeming unsure. And she gulped, wanting more than anything to flush the feelings away.

But then she heard the front door slam. It caused her to jump, the whole house shaking from the impact. And, to her, it felt like a punch to the gut. Abruptly, all the emotions she'd been trying to suppress were squeezed to the surface. And no amount of discipline was gong to stop them. Not this time.

Raising the back of her hand to her mouth, she closed her eyes as tightly as she could as tears leaked from her eyes, trailing down her cheeks. She grimaced against the agony, against the misery that was bursting inside of her. It took over every nerve in her body, pulling her down.

She was shaking so badly that it was all she could do. Slowly, her breathing hitching and unstable, she sank to the floor.

Eyes still closed, she wept.

* * *

**A/N:** Well, they really went at each other. And in their anger, they decided never to speak again. A lot of hot air and emotions perhaps? I suppose we'll see.

I hope you all enjoyed and thank you so much for all your support! I love you all!

**R&R** PLEASE!


	5. Chapter 4: Inching at a Crawl

**Two Birds, A Different Feather**

"_Did I __**disappoint**__ you?__  
__Or leave a __**bad taste**__ in your __**mouth**__?__  
__You act like you __**never**__ had __**love**__  
__And you want __**me**__ to go __**without**__  
__Well it's_

_Too __**late**__  
__Tonight__  
__To drag the __**past**__ out into the __**light**__  
__We're __**one**__, but we're __**not the same**__  
__We get to__  
__**carry**__ each other__  
__**carry**__ each other__  
__**One"**_

_**One – U2**_

**Chapter 4: Inching at a Crawl**

Slamming himself down onto a bench, Hope pursed his lips as he twined his fingers together across his knees. He rocked back and forth a few times, trying to ease his nerves. But even then, having taken a long walk in an attempt to cool off, he still felt beyond himself.

And helpless.

But he was angry too. _So_ angry. All that work, all that sacrifice and what did he have to show for it? Nothing, absolutely nothing! The whole reason he'd left was to prove to her that he was everything she couldn't see. He'd come home, finally looking like an adult, and she'd see him for who he really was. That was what he'd planned, what was supposed to have happened.

Perhaps he had been childish. Maybe it was simply impossible for her to see him as anything more than a child. He should have known. Views like that didn't change no matter how everything else did. Thinking he could simply convince her to… to love him the way he'd loved her just because he was older was stupid. She was older too and the gap between them would never be filled.

All of it was foolishness.

It was strange to him, how quickly all of this had happened. He'd spent the majority of six years forcing himself to forget her. Convincing himself that when he finally saw her again, that would be the time to be honest. But until then, he had to push her as far away from him as possible. Because the pain of being without her had been unbearable. He hadn't realized, however, that he'd literally pushed her away at the same time.

She didn't want anything to do with him. He was nothing more than a heap of immature decisions piled into failure. All that work, all that discipline, and for what? To be rejected before he'd even had the chance to try. He'd forced himself to ignore the idea of her, not realizing that in doing so, he'd been building this subconscious mountain of hope. Yet now it was spoiled and he'd never felt so horrible.

He'd been in love with her for seven years and she _despised_ him.

And he'd been so wounded by her words that he'd said the same thing, if only to defend himself against the rejection. This pain was different than when he'd been without her, trailing after her for so long. That had been a beating ache that had flared up without warning. But this… this was like a fresh cut slashed all the way from his feet to his face. And he couldn't sew it up. It was impossible to contain how horrible and heartbroken and despicable he felt. All he could do was let it bleed.

He hated himself. He hated what he'd become, that he'd tried so hard. He hated that she hated him despite all his efforts. He hated it all.

A complete and total waste…

Pulling his head into his hands, he closed his eyes and forced the tears to stay put. He'd been repressing his emotions for the last six years, but even all that practice was making this difficult. The one thing he'd longed for, the girl that had kept him going when he'd thought he'd break. Just the thought of seeing her, of being with her. At the time, he'd thought the possibility had existed, but he now saw that it'd merely been a fantasy.

His whole chest shook, his eyes squeezing tighter as he rejected the urge to let a single tear fall. But one did and as it trailed down his cheek, he found that his whole body began to shake. Not just with hurt, but with anger.

Anger at himself.

He'd said such horrible things to her. Light, who was supposed to be his everything, the center of his world.

But she'd rejected him and he hadn't been able to handle that. After so long and she… she didn't even see him at all…

She didn't want to.

"I wondered where you'd gotten off to." Startled, Hope straightened, his eyes wide as he turned his head over his shoulder. Standing beside the bench, staring down at him, was Sazh. His expression was soft, understanding, and, feeling immature, Hope looked away before wiping that single tear from his cheek.

"What do you want?" he asked, his tone low. He didn't want to be rude, but hadn't his desire to be alone been pretty obvious when he'd stormed out the front door?

"Hey," Sazh furrowed his eyebrows before crossing his arms over his chest. "Watch that attitude kid. I didn't come looking for you so you could bite my head off."

"Don't call me that," Hope said sternly. "I'm not a kid anymore…"

"I know that," Sazh replied before sighing. Arms falling from his chest, the older man took a step forward before sitting down on the bench as well. Hope didn't look over at him as he did however, more focused on the grass at their feet. It was then, for the first time, that he realized they were in a park. Out before him was a small pond, a sun falling lower with each passing second.

"I'm gonna let you in on a little secret," Sazh started, not at all caring that Hope was still refusing to look at him. "To me, every single one of you are kids." He leaned against the back of the bench. "I'm forty-six years old for crying out loud. I'm old enough to be all your fathers. But," he sighed. "I will admit that, when it came to you, to everyone else, you were a special case."

Hope finally looked over at him, eyes narrowed.

"I probably should have seen it, being a father myself, but I suppose the fact that I saw you all the same was what hindered my ability to understand. I think, to Lightning, Snow, and Serah, you were the equivalent of Dajh. Yes, you'd been through an ordeal, but still had the chance to regain that childlike innocence that we'd all lost.

"We protected you because we assumed you had the ability to become everything we'd once been. That was why you were treated differently. Because you had potential." Hope deferred his eyes to the lake, still silent. "But you and Dajh weren't the same. He had only begun his childhood whereas yours had been coming to an end. I can understand how us pressuring you to move backwards would he insufferable.

"It pains me to even consider it, but you're right. You became one of us for better or for worse and we alienated you." Sazh sighed. "And for that, I want to apologize." Hope glanced over at him again, his lips pursing as his forehead lost its aggressive wrinkle. "Though, I will warn you in advance, I will treat you like I treat all of you, which means like a child." He grinned.

And Hope smiled as well, his shoulders dropping as the smallest amount of stress leaked away. "Thanks," he commented quietly. "Really. You have no idea how much I appreciate you saying that." To be acknowledged as an equal, even if being so was to be a child in Sazh's eyes. That was all he really wanted – to be treated like everyone else. There was a difference between being special and being singled out, and he now knew the strengths and disadvantages of both.

"You're welcome," Sazh replied, his smile slowly fading. "However," he cleared his throat. "I have the funny feeling that, though you appreciate it, it wasn't _my_ approval or understanding that you were truly hoping to get." Hope frowned, Lightning flashing through his head once again.

"She doesn't want anything to do with me," he muttered hopelessly, aware that all their friends, and his father, had probably heard their shouting match and were therefore no longer ignorant of his feelings. "I left because I wanted to prove to her that I wasn't the little kid she thought I was. But that completely backfired. All she wants is the kid she thought I used to be."

"What Lightning wants, or needs anyway, is stability," Sazh replied, sounding just as wise as they all knew he was. "She's been through a lot in her life and a sense of normalcy is probably her deepest desire. You showing up here, intruding on that image after initially disrupting it… It's difficult for her to digest."

"Now I wish I'd never left…" he admitted, feeling very sorry for himself.

"Well, what's done is done," Sazh replied simply. "Wishing to change the past isn't going to help you or her." He paused, staring at Hope with a questioning brow. "What, exactly, were you trying to prove when you left?" The question wasn't outright. More like he just wanted confirmation of something he already knew.

"I wanted to prove that I was an adult, that I could become one," he replied, sounding somewhat defeated. "I'd felt like an adult when I'd left, but no one had been able to see it. And now that I finally look like one, it doesn't even make a difference." She wanted even less to do with him.

"Hope, being an adult isn't about what you look like," Sazh explained, shaking his head as Hope turned to look at him again. "And it doesn't even have anything to do with age, as you've obviously realized. An adult isn't something you just… become. It's a… a trait." Hope furrowed his eyebrows. "Being an adult is about knowing when the situation calls for such an attitude and acting as one. I've met sixty-year-old men that I'd characterize as children and… and fourteen year old boys that are more adult than most of the men my age." Hope smiled slightly.

"If you really want to prove your maturity, then you have to act on it, not just look the part," he continued. "We're all children sometimes, but it's knowing when being so is appropriate that separates the adults from the children. Example," he raised his eyebrows knowingly. "You and Lightning? You acted like petty little brats today." Hope frowned, obviously offended. "And don't you even dare deny it," Sazh pointed at him. "You screamed at each other, threw unnecessary insults, and never got to the point of the conversation. And then you stormed out, stomping yourself into a tantrum, and Lightning cried her eyes out on the kitchen floor."

"She _cried_?" Hope felt his heart plummet to his stomach. Shame overtook him, his gaze falling to the grass in guilt.

"Yeah," Sazh nodded. "She's cried a lot over you in the past years." That wasn't making him feel any better. "But even if you both just acted like complete children, it's okay, because we all do sometimes. My wife and I," he smiled fondly, "we used to really get at each other sometimes. Oh man, she'd drive me right over the edge," he chuckled shortly. "But it wasn't about what happened in the heat of the moment that proved our maturity. It was how we handled it afterwards." Hope cast his gaze to him yet again. "You'll find as you get older that passion is nothing but childishness, all of it. We give into our emotions and let them drive us. The epitome of immaturity. Sometimes it can be fun and sometimes it can be devastating. But it's what you do after that's all over that is the most telling.

"So, if you think you're such an adult," he cocked an eyebrow at the young man, "what are you gonna do now?"

"That's a bit of a loaded question," Hope replied. "I mean, I haven't even gotten over what we said to each other." Or the secrets he hadn't meant to reveal to… everyone. Things he'd kept bottled up for countless years.

"Wrong answer," Sazh stated simply, Hope whipping around to stare at him, affronted. "You want to know another key facet to maturity? Forgiveness. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that everything should be forgiven, but you should know when it's needed and you should know right away if absolving the situation is possible. Like I said, my wife and I didn't always get along, but I knew as soon as we were done fighting that I'd forgive her. Because if you can't forgive the horrible things that go on between you and another person, you'll never be able to work through it.

"So, can you forgive Lightning?" It seemed like such a simple question, but Hope found that he was having a difficult time keeping up with Sazh's logic. "Okay, let's break it down," the older man continued. "Why was Lighting acting the way she was?"

"Because she… she was angry with me for… for leaving," Hope replied, feeling an awful lot like he was taking a pop quiz.

"Right," Sazh nodded. "And why did that make her angry?"

"Well because I…" Hope sighed. "Because what I did hurt her."

"Exactly," Sazh nodded. "That isn't to say she has the _right_ to act as she did, but of you look at the root of her behavior, then you can at least understand it, yes?" Hope nodded. "She's in so much pain that she's resulted to hurting you to get away from it. Because she'd so overwhelmed, she doesn't know what else she can possibly do. Like an animal trapped in a corner, she lashed out, and then you fought back. Now, I don't know about you, but I'd say that, when considering her state of mind, her actions are pretty forgivable."

"Huh," Hope huffed. "When you look at it that way, you're right."

"So then I guess the question is not whether you can forgive her then, but whether she can forgive you."

"Yeah," the younger man sighed. "I guess that is the question." Because Sazh was right. And it'd been easy for him to forgive her. Which meant that all he had left to latch onto was fear.

"I came out here to talk to you for more than one reason," Sazh explained, drawing his companion's eyes. "You have _always_ been the forgiving type. Even when it came to your mother," Hope pursed his lips, "you forgave. It's one of the hardest and most adult things a person can do. And something Lightning has a lot of trouble with.

"You're both still young, and you're going to make mistakes, and maybe it's not my place to be interfering at all. Fact of the matter is, I don't care if you two are just friends or… whatever," he waved off the idea. "Either way, you need to be the one to make the first move."

Hope shook his head, not understanding.

"Think about it," Sazh lectured. "Think about Lightning. You're the forgiving one, not her. Which means that when she finally gives in to doing the adult thing, someone needs to be there to catch her when she finally lets go. Otherwise, she won't." He paused, Hope considering his words. "Lightning can be… extremely childish. But she'd also been through a lot, so it's understandable that she'd be so. It's easier to escape into a childish fantasy than face reality."

"Okay, but," Hope shook his head. "What if she doesn't even want to talk to me? I can't… force her to talk to me."

"No, but she can listen," Sazh explained. "You want to be an adult Hope, then here's your chance. It's time to pick up the pieces, not leave them lying about. So if you want to be taken seriously, then act like it. Because Lightning sure as hell isn't going to."

"You act like she's more childish than I am…" The thought was odd to him. Lightning, immature? It just didn't seem to fit. But, then again, he'd always placed her on a pedestal, hadn't he…?

"Hope, there were times when we were traveling together that you were more mature than all of us put together," Sazh admitted.

"Ha, thanks," Hope laughed lightly. "You know, you're pretty smart." He smiled up at the older man, finally feeling a little better.

"I know," Sazh replied, crossing his arms over his chest in a rather cocky manner. They both laughed then, their humor eventually fading to silence. Silence that faded to serious contemplation.

"So… what do I do now?" Hope asked quietly, eyebrows furrowed.

"It's up to you," Sazh shrugged. "I can't help you with that one."

No, Hope realized, he certainly couldn't. This was between him and Lightning now, and only he had the power to fix it.

Well, that was, if she'd let him.

He sighed.

**oOo**

Allowing for a deep breath, Hope stared down at his feet, relishing in the steam that wafted from his skin. Above his head, water poured down from the showerhead, soaking him. And it felt so good. All his muscles were relaxed and his worries eased. If he could, he would probably fall asleep then and there, the rhythm of the water lulling him into slumber.

But he'd already been in the bathroom for half an hour and knew that much longer would result in the steam causing water damage to the bathroom. The last thing he wanted his father to have to do is refurbish the walls.

Sucking in a final, savoring breath, he reached out and punched the button to quit the shower. The water immediately came to a stop and he pulled the curtain open before reaching for his towel. Quickly drying himself off, he climbed out and went to the mirror. Wiping the fog from his reflection, he narrowed his eyes before manually combing his hair with his fingers. It didn't do much good however. Not that he really cared. Shrugging, he wrapped his towel around his waist before heading towards the door, tying the article off as he walked out.

His father was at work, the house quiet as he made his way down the short corridor to his old room. And as he opened the door, he zeroed in on his bags, which were sitting on the floor in the corner. Strolling over, he bent down to rummage through them.

"Quite the view."

"Gah!" Jumping, Hope felt his towel come loose and hastily grabbed it before turning around. He was pretty sure however that his audience had been granted a flashing view of his behind, causing him to blush.

There, leaning back on her hands atop his bed, was Serah, a smug grin gracing her lips.

"Wha-what are you doing here?" he sputtered lamely, his fingers fumbling as he attempted to tie his towel again. Serah only laughed in response however, finding his flustered disposition extremely amusing.

"Well I came for the show," she explained jokingly, her comment only causing Hope's face to redden further. He finally managed a glare however, his hands slamming down on his hips after he finally got his towel tied.

"That's not funny," he stated seriously, attempting to avoid any more embarrassment. Not to say he was ashamed of his body, but she'd surprised him and he didn't particularly like the shock factor. Or the fact that he was practically naked in front of a woman without his prior knowledge.

"You're right," she nodded, her humor softening. "Sorry." She was still smiling however and, glaring at her for only a moment longer, Hope reached into his bag and pulled out his black bathrobe. Slipping it on, he felt his discomfort fade now that he was more thoroughly covered.

"What are you doing here?" he asked curiously, finally able to comprehend that she was, in fact, sitting in his bedroom, obviously waiting for him.

"I wanted to talk to you," she replied. "So I called Bartholomew, asking if I could come over, and he said I could and told me where to find the spare key." Reaching into her coat pocket, she pulled out the key before tossing it to him. Catching it easily, Hope glanced down at it only quickly before stuffing it into his own pocket. "You were in the shower though, so I thought I'd wait here." She shrugged.

"I see…" Hope replied, his eyes falling to the side. He knew that there was only one thing Serah could want to speak with him about, and that was a certain older sister of hers and the horrific argument he and she had shared in the day before.

"I had a doctor's appointment today," she explained, "and I got out of work for the rest of the day." The group had returned to their duties at the Guardian Core base. "So I thought I'd come and see you." Her smile became even sweeter and Hope pursed his lips, not quite sure what to make of it. Odds were, Serah wasn't exactly thrilled with how he'd treated Lightning the day before.

"Well, what do you want to talk about?" he asked, playing dumb as he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Claire, naturally," she admitted, not even attempting to sugarcoat the subject. Not she'd ever been one for doing so anyway. Though Serah was generally more approachable and upbeat than her older sister, they both shared a no nonsense type personality. Straightforward and to the point.

"Listen Serah," Hope sighed, attempting to ease the conversation before it'd even begun. "If this is about yesterday, then please don't say anything. I'm aware that-"

"You don't have to say it," Serah interrupted, Hope furrowing his eyebrows. "You don't have to take the blame. I know that Claire was at fault too, but I'm not here to talk about that." Well, now Hope really _was_ interested. "I do want to talk about her though, if that's okay." She cast him a questioning eye, almost to ask if it was okay that she talk about her sister around him.

Though he supposed that after the things he and Light had said to each other the day before, anyone would be cautious around the subject.

"Uh, sure, that's fine," he replied with a shrug. To be honest, he'd been contemplating Lighting himself all day, so perhaps Serah could give him some better insight. Thus far, he'd been at a loss as to how to approach what had happened between them. If Light didn't want anything to do with him, then speaking to her was hardly a plausible possibility.

"I don't… exactly know where to start," Serah explained as Hope came over to the bed and sat down beside her. Elbows on his knees and hands twined together, he stared at her thoughtfully. "So just… bear with me," she smiled again, though this time somewhat sheepishly.

Silent for only a moment, she took a huffing breath. "Well, I guess before I say anything, I have a question for you." Pause. "What… what did you mean yesterday when you said that you… loved Claire? And all that other stuff about her being the most important person to you?"

"Uh…" Hope looked away quickly, his cheeks once again flaring. "Well…" Of course, he knew he'd said those things out loud, but looking back, he'd kind of wished he hadn't. The effect of the heat of the moment. "I… meant what I said…" Maybe he could get out of this by playing dumb once again.

"Hope," Serah cast him a scolding eye. "You know what I meant." She'd seen through him. Not that he was surprised.

"Does it really matter?" he asked, still obviously uncomfortable. "I mean, she never wants to see me again, so what's the point of talking about it?" Of course, he knew the point as he had no intention of just forgetting about Lightning. But that didn't mean he wanted to talk to someone else about it.

"_Hope_," Serah said his name in exasperation. "Just answer the question. I won't tell anyone, I promise, but I need to know the truth before I can talk to you about Claire. I need verification." So she already presumed to know. Which probably meant that she did. Then he didn't exactly have anything to hide.

"Do you really _have_ to know?" Hope asked, his question a final plea that she remain ignorant. She simply stared at him however and he sighed. "I meant… exactly what I said. I mean… I don't know. It was part of the reason why I left. So that I could come back and she'd see me as… an equal. And I figured that if I could accomplish that, then maybe it'd be possible to… go further. I don't know." Downed, he shook his head and Serah frowned.

"So… you really are… in love with her?" Serah asked tentatively, apparently as hesitant as Hope to actually say the words out loud.

"It didn't start out that way," he began quickly, as if he needed to somehow defend the feelings he couldn't help but have. "At first I just admired her, but then I started wanting to protect her, and from there, it was like everything I did was with her in mind. And being around all the other l'Cie, seeing how they felt and how they treated each other. How desperate we all were to survive. It made those feelings that much stronger, and real." Serah watched as his expression fell to the floor, his eyes seeming far away. "Everything was so rushed back then that it wasn't until we finally stopped, when we'd completed our focus, that I realized how I felt about her.

"But that was when everything changed. It was like I recognized my feelings just in time to be isolated from her. I tried so many times to get through to her, and even though she was treating me like a child, I grew to… love her more and more everyday. Eventually it became obvious that nothing was ever going to happen between us and I just… I couldn't take it anymore. I got tired of being pushed aside by everyone, especially her, so I left."

"I wanted to apologize for that," Serah started quietly, Hope looking over at her. "I realize I haven't known you as long as everyone else, but I still feel like I'm just as guilty. It was strange to me that Claire could be such good friends with someone so young. I guess I just assumed it was a… big sister kind of situation, and treated you as she did. I hadn't realized we were alienating you to the point where you felt you had no choice but to leave."

"It's fine," Hope assured with a soft smile. "I'd gotten over it as soon as I'd left. I guess I figured that joining up without even telling anyone was punishment enough for all." Serah laughed lightly at his reasoning, but the humor didn't last. They had to get back to the subject at hand.

"So, you still feel that way about her?" Serah's tone was questioning.

"I… I do, I guess. I don't know," Hope sighed. "I was gone so long and I'd ignored my feelings that whole time. And when I came back, and I saw her, it was like this huge flood of everything I'd buried away. I do… have feelings for her, but now that things between us have changed so much, it's like they have to be redefined. Nothing is ever going to be like it used to."

"But… are you going to pursue her?" Serah asked, practically shying away as she did. As if her inquiry was, for some reason, inappropriate. It wasn't for this reason that Hope furrowed his eyebrows however. Her questioning was getting a little tedious as it really wasn't any of her business, but he was growing more impatient than anything else.

"What is this about Serah?" he asked, wanting to finally get to the point.

"I just…" she sighed. "A lot has happened since you left Hope. And I… I think that…" She huffed, her shoulders dropping. "Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, and maybe I don't have the right to be saying any of this because it's been such a long time, but… once upon a time you were a really good person."

"And I'm not anymore?" he asked, clearly affronted, immediately wondering if she was referencing the argument from the day before.

"No!" Serah shook her head. "That's not what I meant." Sighing, she reached up and rubbed her temples. "I can't claim to know you anymore, even if I am your friend. But what I'm trying to say is that if you are the same as you used to be, then maybe… maybe you're exactly what Claire needs." Hope cocked his head to the side.

"I probably shouldn't be telling you this," she continued. "It's… not my place to. And I know that by doing so, I'm wrong. But, if, in the end, it'll help my sister, I'm willing to suffer the consequences." Looking away, she placed her hands in her lap as she stared at the floor. "You know, most people would look at Claire and think that she was… really with it. Had all her ducks in a row. And in certain ways she does. I mean, if it weren't for her, I wouldn't even have a job, and neither would Snow. When thinking of it that way, most people would think I'm a mess." She laughed. "But there was always something I was better at than her.

"Relationships," she stated simply. "And I don't just mean romantic ones. Relationships of all kinds. I guess you could say that it's Claire's biggest weakness." She paused and Hope blinked, listening intently. "It's not hard to tell that socializing isn't exactly her strong suit. She'd rather go into battle then suffer through a GC party. I don't think she had even been in a relationship until…"

"Until what?" Hope asked quietly.

"You know, when you met Claire, she was only twenty-one," Serah smiled again, bitterly however. "I had more relationship experience than she did. I'd been engaged for crying out loud and she hadn't even…" It was difficult for her to say. For her to reveal her sister's secrets the way she was going to. "Twenty-one isn't an old age to be… inexperienced, and I don't think it bothered Claire. At least, not until… after you left…"

Eyebrows furrowed, Hope cocked his head to the side. What did his leaving have to do with Light's relationship prowess?

"I think that, when you were around, you filled that void, you know?" Serah continued. "You were her best friend, you eased her loneliness, so she didn't have the desire to find it anywhere else. It was easy with you, for her to ignore her adult expectations of finding someone. You kept her safe, made her feel content enough to ignore the idea of a romantic relationship.

"But after you left, she… she got lonely," Serah shrugged. "And I convinced her to put herself out there, to go out on a few dates, loosen up." Hope turned his stare to the floor, his stomach tying in knots. He had the feeling this story wasn't going to end well. "And she did meet someone. We all thought they were good together and I think that Claire… I think she really thought she could make something with him. He was patient with her inexperience and her inept social graces. For a while I thought he was perfect for her, the way Claire talked about him.

"They dated for almost seven months before they finally… you know," Serah shrugged, Hope listening without comment. "And even though she won't admit it, I knew it was her first time.

"But then we found out the source of his patience," Serah's tone became darker. "Claire had trusted him. She'd never been hurt romantically before, so she was blind to the possibility of betrayal. He'd been using her, sleeping around the whole time they were together. And why? Because he figured someone as high ranking as Clair could help him move up in the Core. But when it became totally clear that she'd never use her position in that fashion, he admitted to everything before walking out the door."

Hope closed his eyes, gulping as he registered what she said. He couldn't even imagine what kind of pain that had put Light through.

"I don't think I have to tell you, of all people, how much it broke her," he slowly shook his head. "So…" she sighed, "Claire, when she was finally feeling confident to try again, decided to take a different approach. This time, she'd do the opposite of what she'd done before. She'd absolve the emotion and focus on only the physical. And for someone who's as private as her, the thought of acting in that… fashion is devastating.

"I'm not saying she slept with every guy on the base, but there were a few. And then there was one. After her parade of one-night stands, he was the only one left. All their relationship consisted of was sex. He didn't want anything else, was willing to take whatever he could get whenever it was offered, and Claire was too terrified to tell him about the real feelings she'd formed for him. So instead they continued this on and off, sexually abusive mind game of a relationship. And she couldn't help going back to him because all she really wanted was to… cure her loneliness. She's so strong, you know, but when a person _wants_ to believe a lie, even those with the most strength can be riddled with weakness.

"It wasn't until he finally left, shipped to another base, that their relationship ended. He just stopped communicating with her. Left and never said a word about it. That, of course, was devastating for her as well. And it was even worse because it reminded her of you." Hope pursed his lips. "It took months for me to convince her to try again. She dated a few guys, but only one stood out in the end.

"Why? Because he was persistent. Claire had completely closed herself off both emotionally and physically. Yet he tried and tried and tried until finally he chipped away a piece of her resolve. But, to him, he thought that was where it should end. He'd finally gotten in the door and he expected her to just let him in. And when she didn't, he gave up. He decided she wasn't worth it and walked out.

"And that, of course, instilled in Claire the idea that there must be something wrong with her. She swore off men and dating entirely, succumbing to her loneliness. It'd been almost a year when you showed up. I'd been trying, again, to get her to put herself out there, but she just won't. She's too scared, and hurt." She fell silent then, as if allowing the words to sink into Hope's head.

"Why are you telling me this?" he murmured a few moments later.

"Because you said you loved her," Serah replied, her voice quiet. "I want her to be happy. More than anything in the world, I want that for her. And now you're here, showing up out of nowhere and claiming that you love her. It's a no brainer she hates you; you're everything she's been searching for delivered on a silver platter," she laughed. "And when someone's been as hurt as she has, the thought of getting what she wants, what she needs, is unfathomable. She's so much more sensitive than she acts. You were right, yesterday, when you said that she was afraid of you. More right than you could have known. Somewhere, deep down, I know she wants to know you again, whether that's as a friend or something more, but she's just so scarred that her true feelings can't get past the scabs.

"You're a good guy, right?" Serah turned to him, her eyes searching his as he furrowed his brow even further. "I want her to be happy Hope, and if you can make her happy, I'd tell you _anything_ you needed to know. But only because I have to be able to trust that you won't hurt her.

"I told you what I did so that, if you do choose to go after her, you know what you're getting yourself into. If you want to be with her, then you have to promise that you'll stay no matter what. And if you can't be certain of that, then don't go anywhere near her. She can't afford to lose you twice."

"I can't believe all those guys…" It made him angry just thinking about it. How all those supposed men had taken advantage of her. He didn't understand it, how someone could hurt a person as… perfect as she'd been. But now she was broken. Because of him; because of those other guys.

The thought of it all made him want to beat the shit out of himself. Because he'd been the one to start it all.

What a mess.

It all felt heavy on his shoulders, but it was his burden to bear, he knew that.

"So…?" Serah's voice interjected into his thoughts, his lack of response making her uneasy. "What are you going to do?"

The question he'd been asking himself all day.

What, exactly, _was_ he going to do?

**oOo**

Closing the door behind her, Lightning dropped her bag to the floor before reaching down and pulling off her boots. Leaving it all in a pile behind her, she promptly forgot about the mess as she whisked her way into her small apartment, avoiding the rain that was gathering in the clouds outside.

Never one for much house cleaning, there was a fair bit of untidiness about. Not in the dirty sense, but more like clothes hanging over the arms of her furniture, shoes hidden under the tables, and books stacked up atop them. Living by herself didn't exactly spur her to keep things neat. She had better things she could be doing with her time.

Going to her kitchen, she nearly ran into the trashcan, which was full of empty take-out boxes, before she sidestepped her way over to the counter. Once there, she grabbed a cookie from the jar and started to munch on it while hitting the "play" button on her answering machine.

"_You have two new messages,_" the machine monotonously told her. "_Message one-_"

"_Hey Lightning, it's Amodar,_" the first began. "_You know I've been out of town the last few days and I wanted to let you know that those files you were looking for before your last trip are sitting on my desk. I completely forgot to tell you. I left a message on your cell too._"

"_End of message,_" the mechanical voice continued. "_Message t-_"

Lightning reached forward and pressed the delete key.

"_Message deleted,_" she was told. "_One new message. Message one-_"

"_…_ _Hey Light. It's me._" Lightning felt her blood run cold, her eyes widening. "_Uh, well, I mean, it's Hope. I guess I… probably sound different than I used to. Not to say you wouldn't recognize… well, whatever. I know you… don't want to talk to me, but I feel like the argument we had a few days ag-_"

Much of its own accord, Lightning's finger dashed forward and hit the delete button. The answering machine echoed its previous message, alerting her to the fact that his message no longer existed. And as she registered this fact, her hand, still hovering above the machine, began to tremble.

Gulping, she pulled it quickly to her side before balling her fingers into a fist. Forcefully steadying her breathing, she tore her eyes away from the answering machine, focusing anywhere but there. On anything but the fact that she'd just deleted a message from _him_. If she just ignored it, then-

Eyes snapping, she nearly jumped out of her skin when the sound of someone knocking on her door echoed through the apartment. Yet a part of her remained frozen. Whether it was the message she'd just deleted or some kind of intuition, she knew who was standing outside her apartment. And if part of her was frozen, then the other part was trying desperately to run away.

She couldn't do this. She couldn't face him. If he wasn't concrete in front of her, then he didn't have to exist. She could ignore him.

Convince herself that Hope was dead.

"Light?" his voice resounded in her ears, causing her to flinch as if startled. "Light, please open the door. I know you're home." Still she didn't move, her heart beating faster and faster. Her nerves were strangling her insides, making it difficult to breathe. She just wanted him to leave, to go away. Then she wouldn't have to deal with any of this.

If he'd just leave her alone.

"I know you don't want to talk to me," he continued as she heard a light thump fall against her door, as if he was leaning his hands, or fists, against the wood. "Especially after what happened. But we need to talk. I know you know that. We can't be on bad terms with each other, not without dragging our friends into it too. I'm not… I'm not saying _we_ have to be friends. But we need to be able to at least communicate on a formal basis." If that was where he had to start, all the way at the beginning, then he would. "Please Light…"

Closing her eyes, Lightning used all her might and forced her breathing into a regular pace, her mind, though not calm, at least momentarily steady. Truth be told, ever since their argument, she'd been unable to conjure any type of anger towards him. She'd fallen to pieces after they'd screamed at each other, as if all her rage had leaked out with her tears. All she'd been left with was hurt – that which she'd been vigorously avoiding with anger the whole time. It hadn't done any good. The misery has still crowded in on her, just as she'd known it would.

And as she listened to his voice on the other side of the door, it was that same pain that plagued her. That, and fear. She was ashamed of it, of how terrified she really was. Charging into battle, fighting ferocious monsters, these things she could do. But face… Hope? No. It felt so beyond her. The thought of it made her want to turn and climb out the window. To run far, far away and as fast as she possibly could.

She didn't understand her irrational fear, but it was there nonetheless and it paralyzed her.

She couldn't walk. She couldn't bring any words up her throat.

She couldn't open that door.

"Light, I'm begging you," Hope's voice was a little quieter. A little more desperate. "I'm sorry about what I said, really. I shouldn't have and I didn't mean any of it." The bad things anyway. "And I… I know you didn't either." Lightning gulped. "We're both hurting. Intentionally or not, we hurt each other. The only way either one of us is gong to feel any better is if we talk it over.

"I know you're scared Light," his tone was now just loud enough for her to hear. "And I'm scared too. So please, just… just open the door. _Please_."

"I can't…" the words were so soft that she'd barely heard them herself, which meant that he certainly hadn't. Yet at the same time, her admission to herself finally broke her free of her paralysis. So long as she didn't open that door, she was safe. He couldn't get in. And if there was a wall between them, there was no way any of her fears of him could become reality.

Gulping, she slowly forced her legs across the apartment to the door. Above her head, she could hear the beginnings of rain sprinkling the rooftop, but even this thought wasn't enough to convince her to lower the barrier between her and the man outside. Only part of her felt bad about the rain, far too outweighed by her fear to make a difference.

Not that it really mattered. Hope didn't care about getting wet.

"Light…" his voice was muffled as she stood with only a foot between her and the door. His tone was broken, pleading, and Lightning shut her eyes as she closed the distance between herself and entrance to her apartment. Placing the palms of her hands against the wood, she took a shaking breath as she leaned her forehead against the cool surface.

"I can't…" she repeated a little louder, part of her hoping he hadn't heard and part of her hoping he had, though she couldn't pinpoint the differences in her reasoning. Outside, however, she could hear the rain getting heavier, the clicking of it against the building, against the sidewalk outside.

Against the leather jacket of the man just on the other side of her door.

"Then don't," he replied softly. "Just… talk to me then. You don't have to let me in. You don't have to look at me or even acknowledge who I am if that makes it easier for you. Just… just talk to me." Outside, he leaned his forehead against the door as well, his eyes trained on the wood. Almost as if, were he to stare long enough, he'd be able to dissolve the barriers and walls between them.

Despite his asking however, Lighting gave no response. Lifting her head from the door, her hands pressed more firmly against it. She convinced herself that it was to reinforce the strength of the divide between them. Any other motive was buried so deeply by fear that she couldn't make it out.

"Light, please, just try," he attempted to sound encouraging, not defeated, as he strained to open her up just slightly. Any kind of progress between them would be relieving to him. Even if they couldn't be in the same room together yet. "Just… say anything…"

"What do you want me to say?" she asked, Hope's eyes widening as his heart sped up in his chest. "I have nothing to say to you." Were it not for the defeated, confused edge to her voice, her words might have been offending, but Hope knew better. He knew she was only trying to be as honest as she could be. As was possible with the way her fear was coating each and every word.

"Yes you do," he contradicted. "I know you do, even if you don't." His tone remained soft, the rain pounding down atop his shoulders and head, soaking him through. "I know you hate me for leaving, and I know you don't believe my reasons for doing so are justified. But even so, I'm the same person I always was Light. I just grew up a little, that's all."

"You already knew all of that," she pointed out quietly, reinforcing that she had nothing to say. "And you're not that same," she sounded almost bitter. "You never will be again. That's what growing up is about. You'll…" her breath was shaky, Hope glancing down at the ground as he listened. "You'll never be the Hope I knew again. He's gone."

"No," focusing back on the door, Hope shook his head. "That's not true Light. The reason I left was because I felt my age didn't match my maturity. That it needed time to catch up. Nothing about who I am is different, I-"

"Change is inevitable," she corrected, Hope hearing sadness in her voice.

"Alright, fine," he agreed. "Maybe I am different, but that doesn't change who I am." He still lived his life by the same values, by the same codes and rules. Perhaps his outlook was a little altered, but overall, he'd retained who he'd been. "Thunder Sorrow isn't who I really am," he tried to make her understand. "It's just a mask. You, of all people, should understand that."

"Becoming Lightning changed me," she continued to reject his reasoning. "I became her and there was nothing that could reverse that. You may not feel like… like Thunder is who you are, but it's not that simple. It's never that simple."

There was a pause in their conversation, Hope considering his next words carefully.

"Maybe you're right," he decided. "Thunder is a part of me. Becoming someone else helped shape who I am, but that doesn't make it a bad thing. Just because I use a different name sometimes, that doesn't mean I'm not Hope. It just… it just means it's easier for me to deal with certain things when I can pretend to be someone else. Just like you. But I… I would never do that to you. I will always be honest with you."

"Then I can't say the same thing," she decided, a slight defensiveness to her voice. "I'm Lightning and-"

"No you're not," he interrupted, his tone slightly sharper. "You're Light, at least to me. Don't hide from this. Lightning is as much a mask for you as Thunder is to me. But Light, the woman I knew… she was different. She was an amazing mixture of both Lightning and Claire. And you embraced being her, at least when you were around me. So just… just consider me that way too."

"No," she blatantly refused, her denial obvious to even her. "I don't want to. You're not that boy I knew anymore, you're-"

"A man?" he asked as he reached up and wiped the rainwater from his eyes before laying his hand back down on the door. "You're right, I'm not a little boy anymore. And I know that's hard for you to understand. But you need to know Light that just because I'm a man, that doesn't mean I'm going to… to hurt you."

He got no response.

"I understand why you're afraid of me," his voice softened considerably. "I was your best friend, just like you were mine. We trusted each other despite our differences. And then I left and… and you tried to find someone, but… they all betrayed you." He was afraid that he was overstepping his boundaries, that he was pushing her away by revealing what he knew, but he had to try. "All those men turned against you. But I'm not like them Light. You can feel just as safe with me as a man as you did when I was a teenager.

"I'll never take advantage of you like they did. I couldn't."

"Who told you?" she asked, her tone, though quiet, cold and defensive, and Hope felt anxiety begin pumping even harder inside his veins. Unconsciously, as if to hold her steady, his hands pushed harder against the door. "Tell me," she insisted when he didn't give an immediate response.

"It was…" he sighed. "Serah told me." He'd promised he'd never hurt her, that he'd be honest, so he would be. Even if he was damning himself in the process. "She was concerned about you and thought that, if I could somehow talk to you, I might be able to help you."

"I don't need your help," she explained quickly. "Or hers. But least of all yours. I'm fine just the way I am." A lie, but Hope didn't point out the fact. "There's nothing you could do. I don't need anyone, especially you." Her extreme opposition to the idea spelled out how wrong she was, a fact she realized but refused to accept.

"You're right, you don't," Hope agreed quickly, wanting to fix the damage before it could get any worse. "That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?" she asked, clearly affronted, and Hope attempted to quickly come up with a response. It was difficult however and he wasn't sure if what he decided on was going to make the situation better or worse.

"I just meant…" Sometimes, he cursed the fact that he was always honest and rather straightforward about being so. He sighed. "Serah wants you to be happy, that's all," he attempted to explain. "And she thought that… that I could… help with that. And I'll admit that I… wasn't exactly opposed to the idea."

He didn't get a response at first, not that he'd really expected one. Such an understanding didn't make the silence any less disconcerting however. The fact that he was talking through a door didn't help much either. Or maybe that made it easier. He wasn't sure.

"What do you mean?" she eventually asked, her voice becoming quiet once again. As if she was afraid to hear the answer.

"You know what I mean," Hope replied, his tone equally as low. "I think I made it pretty obvious the last time we… talked." Or screamed at each other, whichever interpretation seemed more appropriate. Yet even as he said such words, he reminded himself that Light had been lied to, used, manipulated. People like that, they didn't trust insinuations. Everything needed to be spelled out, made obvious, and the thought made Hope cringe.

Again, he cursed his honest nature.

"I…" his breath caught in his throat, halting his words for only a moment before he forced them through. "I love you Light, I always have. Maybe it wasn't always in the same way, but I… I thought about you every day that I was gone and-"

"Don't," she interrupted. "Please, just stop." He could hear both hurt and rejection in her voice, and he wasn't quite sure what to make of it. He knew she was scared, and he realized that any kind of relationship between them was going to require work, even if all it evolved into was a friendship. If that was all she had to give him, he'd have no choice but to be okay with it.

"I know this is hard for you," Hope tried to ease her back into his voice. "And I'm not asking for anything more than you can give me. But just… give it a chance Light." The rain began to fall harder, a chill running up Hope's spine, but he ignored it. "I know I'm… not how you remember me, but if you'd just let me show you, you can get to know me again. And I promise I won't hurt you. Just… try."

"You left," she countered. "It's too late to say that." He _had_ hurt her, he knew that. Part of him wanted to argue that she'd hurt him too. But there was a difference. She'd hurt him unknowingly. All his friends had. Some had apologized, some hadn't, but they would soon enough. Before he could even consider bringing up the subject to Light however, _she'd_ have to forgive _him_. Which meant it was his turn to put in the work.

"Yes, I did," he admitted, his head bent down so he was staring at the ground. "I know that. And I won't lie and say I didn't know what I'd done when I left. I did. But I am sorry. That's not good enough, words can't mend the pain I put you through, or anyone through for that matter. But if you'd just give me a chance, I can make it up to you. I'll do anything for you Light. You just have to let me."

Not a sound in response. He could almost imagine her looking away, afraid to face his words. And he hated it. He hated envisioning her as anything but the strong, independent, amazing woman he'd once known. He'd always been aware that personal relationships weren't her strong point, and he felt forever guilty that her spiral into this fearful, insecure persona had started with him. She was still that inspiring person he'd once known, but now her personality was shadowed by doubt. Because the world had been cruel enough to take advantage of the one thing she couldn't handle.

It wasn't fair.

"Open the door Light," he murmured, the rain continually battering him outside her door. "I don't deserve your trust, but you have to know that when I say I'll never do anything to hurt you ever again, I'm telling the truth.

"Choose to trust me. I know it's scary - I'm so afraid I can't even tell you. But I want us to fix this. More than I fear doing so. And I know, despite the hurt, that you do too. Otherwise you wouldn't be so upset with me.

"I'm back Light. You just have to let me in."

"No," was her firm response, not even a pause of hesitation granted. Flicking his eyes back up to the door, Hope pursed his lips. "I can't," was her lame defense, her words actually loosely translating to "I won't."

"Light, just consi-"

"No Hope," she said his name for the first time since he'd come back. That he'd heard at least. "Please leave." Listening carefully through the pounding rain, Hope made out the retreating sound of her footsteps inside the apartment. She'd left the door and he knew she wasn't coming back. Despite what he'd said, she was still too afraid.

Allowing his frustration to seep through for just a moment, Hope slammed his fist against the door before pushing himself back. Unbeknownst to him however, Lightning stood in her kitchen once again and had flinched at the sound. Her hand going to her chest, she'd closed her eyes and forced calming breaths in through her lungs. She'd control this. Even if it meant avoiding him, she'd be in control.

She wouldn't fall victim to anyone's ill intentions again. And the only way to make that a certainty was to avoid the entire concept. She just had to keep telling herself that Hope was gone, that Thunder was the man standing outside her door.

She couldn't keep slipping up and humoring the idea that he was really back.

He was gone.

Shaking his head, Hope turned sharply on his heel before stepping down the stairs that led up to Lightning's door. Ignoring the way water dripped from his drenched silver hair, he made his way to the edge of the sidewalk, just beside the parking lot, before sighing. There, he paused, his jaw tightening as he reeled in his frustration.

He knew that getting through to Light was going to be challenging. She'd always been stubborn, perhaps to a fault even. He just had to keep trying. One way or another, he'd beat down her defenses and get to the root of this whole thing. He just had to figure out how to do it. His honesty, promises, hadn't had much of an effect. If anything, they'd only pushed her further away. And arguing with her had been a bust, as everyone now knew.

But what else could he do? What other method would get through to her? She wasn't listening to him, so how else was he supposed to communicate with her?

Turning his head over his shoulder, he glanced back up at her door, frowning against the pouring rain.

He'd figure something out. He had to; there was no other choice. There was no way he'd allow his exile of six years to go unjustified. Just like any other problem, he had to simply find the correct solution. Think outside the box.

Even more determined, he narrowed his eyes before ripping his gaze from her door and hunkering across the parking lot.

He'd get through to her. He wouldn't give himself any other choice.

* * *

**A/N:** Well, we got some wisdom from Sazh, some input from Serah, and a whole lot of no progress between Hope and Lightning. I think Sazh's talk had a real impact on Hope though. He knows what he wants now and is going to go for it, which is an improvement from chapters previous. So Hope had some development, but Lightning? Well, not so much. So what method is Hope going to use to get through to her next? Hmm, _interesting_…

Poor Light though, all that bad history.

I wanted to thank you all for the amazing response the last chapter got. I was honestly shocked that you all loved it so much. And I'm so glad that you all had different opinions! Some of you sided with Light, some with Hope, and some with both or neither! It was so incredible to me that you all felt so strongly and I'm so thankful for your words and support. This chapter wasn't nearly as dynamic as the last one, but I hope you all enjoyed it nonetheless. Thank you again, you're all so amazing!

Also, I'm a woman, for those of you who didn't know, lol. Check my avatar if you don't believe me ^-^

Thank you, thank you, thank you! Your reviews from the last chapter really inspired me and I hope I can continue to deliver to you all a great story!

LOVE YOU ALL AND **R&R**!

**EDIT:** I'm writing this after getting a few disturbing reviews. Mostly ones of an insulting manner. Not of me however, but of Lightning. I don't care if people flame me, call me "dick for brains" if you want, but when you insult the plight that Lightning went through by calling her something as vulgar as "whore," you're insulting a whole lot more than a fictional character. As a strong, independent woman myself, I take great offense that the thought of a woman sleeping with a few men makes her a "whore." Because, as Serah said, there were only a few, which accounts to maybe three or four. And Lightning, any woman, has the right to do with their body as they please without being labeled so. This story isn't a fluffy, high school AU. It's not adult in the sense of mature content (not yet), but it is as far as themes. Lightning is almost thirty years old, she's going to have history, not all of it good. If you can't handle that, then go read something else. Though none of them may always act like it, they're all adults. None of the main characters in this story are under twenty. And if the adult ideas aren't something that bode well with you, at least have the maturity to be decent about it. Not for my sake, but for the sake of every strong, _beautiful_, independent woman out there who might also be hurt and confused.

Thank you and as always, I love you all and appreciate your support,

LivetoLie


	6. Chapter 5: An Artificial Pace

**Two Birds, A Different Feather**

"_Did you __**see**__ the __**sky**__?  
I think it means that we've been __**lost**__  
Maybe __**one less time**__ is all we __**need**__  
I can't really __**help it**__ if my __**tongue's**__ all tied in __**knots**__  
Jumping off a bridge, it's just the __**farthest**__ that I've ever been  
Anywhere you go, I'll __**follow you down**__  
Anyplace but those I know by __**heart**__  
Anywhere you go, __**I'll follow you down**__  
I'll follow you down, but __**not that far**__  
I know we're headed somewhere, I can see __**how far we've come**__  
But still I can't __**remember**__ anything  
Let's not do the __**wrong thing**__ and I'll swear it might be __**fun**__  
It's a long way __**down**__ when all the __**knots**__ we've __**tied**__ have __**come undone**__"_

_**Follow You Down – Gin Blossoms  
**_

**Chapter 5: An Artificial Pace **

Walking swiftly down the hall, Lightning didn't even turn her gaze to any of the passerby's that glanced her way. There wasn't time to pay them any mind. She'd just been called from her office by Amodar on urgent business. She'd barely been in the building an hour when he'd demanded that she report to him immediately. She didn't know what was going on, but it didn't matter. When her superior sounded that pressing, she picked up the pace, simple as that.

Seeing his office at the end of the hall, she sped her way continually closer. The door wasn't opened, but she didn't bother knocking. He was expecting her, so her entering could hardly be classified as barging in. And as she went in, she spotted him sitting behind his desk, hastily flipping through some files with a furrowed brow. He just barely glanced up at her as she walked in, returning his attention to the paperwork just as quickly.

"Thank you for reporting so quickly Farron," he stated, obviously distracted as she sat down in the chair parallel to his desk. "We've just received some intel from the outpost located only a few miles west of Colony One." Lightning cocked an eyebrow, somewhat surprised that something so urgent would come from a place so close by. "I'm not going to explain much more right now, not until our other agent gets here. I only want to tell you both once."

"Other agent?" Lightning questioned. "I was under the impression this was a solo assignment, top secret." Something she couldn't even tell her team until it was over and done with, and, even then, only if she was allowed.

"It is top secret," Amodar explained, finally glancing up at her again. "But not solo. This issue is too close to home to be placed in the hands of only one soldier. You'll have a partner." He then looked back to his paperwork before sighing in frustration. Whatever he was searching through, it was giving him trouble.

"I don't mean any disrespect Sir," Lightning started, "but there aren't any ground soldiers that are able to keep up with me." Other than her team, but even they weren't trained as she was. "Anyone you assign to me is likely to get in the way and hinder the mission more than help it." Besides that, Amodar knew she preferred to work alone, at least when it came to combat situations. And since she'd been called on first, she could only assume that whatever mission he had to bestow upon her was battle related.

"That's not true," Amodar replied confidently, Lightning narrowing her eyes suspiciously. "Last I'd known, there was one other person that was able to match you in combat and, ah," eyes falling somewhere behind her, Amodar's attention became eased as he watched another man enter the room. "Here he is now."

Turning in her chair, Lightning froze, her eyes widening at what she saw. Standing there, completely ignoring her, was Thunder Sorrow. Hope. His silver hair was hardly brushed, his clothes set in disarray. As if he'd just rolled out of bed.

Face paling, Lightning stared at him, realizing a few seconds too late that her gawking might be noticed by the other man in the room. Turning quickly back around, she pursed her lips as she tried to get her heart and breathing under control. She didn't understand what was going on. Why was he here? The logic wasn't adding up. Was this some kind of cruel joke?

No, stay calm. She had to keep her cool.

"I believe you and Mr. Sorrow are acquainted?" Amodar stated, gesturing to the young, silver haired man. "You said it yourself Farron that the two of you worked well together on your previous missions."

"Yes," Lightning snapped, all her control put into keeping her voice under control. "But he's in the Survey Core, not under our jurisdiction. I don't understand what he's doing here." She tried not to sound out of sorts, but she had the feeling that the only reason Amodar didn't notice her odd behavior was because he was too distracted with his own thoughts and responsibilities.

"You're right, he's not. But since the Director of the Survey Core has yet to hand down any formal punishment, verbal doesn't count, in response to Sorrow's previous behavior, he is simply stationed in Colony One at the moment." That still didn't explain his presence. "And as far as him not being under Guardian Core command, I asked him to come as a volunteer for the mission, leaving the choice completely up to him."

Jaw tightening, it became apparent to Lighting that he'd come of his own free will then. Had he been aware that she'd be going as well? Or had he simply said yes out of professional responsibility? She supposed it didn't really matter. He was there, that was a fact. And one she couldn't do anything about.

"So," Amodar smiled up at Hope. "Are you going to agree to accompany our Core on assignment?"

"Well, I still don't know what the big emergency is, but I suppose I don't have a choice if my skills are required." He sounded all business, which only unnerved Lightning more.

"I don't understand why we're calling in a soldier from another Core," Lightning persisted. "Such a decision would appear that we lack confidence in our own abilities to-"

"I know what you're about to say Farron," Amodar waved off her concerns, "but this mission is an exception. I wasn't put in charge of assigning it because it was given to the GC. I was given the assignment because I have you. The both of you are the top combat specialists in the whole military. The president ordered me to enlist you on the job," he nodded to Lightning, "and to ask Sorrow to volunteer because his boss is currently too stubborn to be dependable when it come to inter-Core communications. No offense," he nodded to Thunder.

"None taken," Hope replied seriously.

Lightning, however, had run out of objections, her commanding officer's logic standing. Whatever mission this was, she was going to have to work with Thunder Sorrow. With the man that, of every singe person in the world, she wanted to see the least.

"So here's the deal," Amodar twined his fingers together atop his desk. "West of Colony One, there's a cliff on the coast. It grows larger the further west we go. Because of its high elevation, it was the perfect place to put an outpost. It's not populated, just a tower used for lookouts. But last night," he sighed, "it was destroyed." Despite both their concern over having to work together, Hope and Lightning found their curiosities spiking.

"Thankfully, there was no one assigned to the outpost at the time, but that doesn't change what happened. From what I've been told and the images I received, it'd appear it was… swallowed by the ground below."

"Swallowed?" Hope questioned as he crossed his arms over his chest. "Did anyone nearby see what did it?" Because they obviously weren't dealing with any sort of human misconduct here.

"No," Amodar shook his head. "But evidence was gathered from the site. There's a large hole where the outpost was standing, too deep to see the bottom. Because of the potential dangers, it was forbidden that anyone go down into it. I'm guessing that it's a tunnel. And whatever did this lives at the end of it."

"Which is where we come in," Lightning easily deduced.

"Precisely," Amodar concluded. "This mission is in a delicate state of secrecy however. Whatever monster did this is quite sizable, and the outpost was only a few miles from Colony One," the biggest settlement on Pulse. "This has to be taken care of quickly and accurately. If the public finds out about this, it's going to cause chaos. That's why the best of the best have been called in to take care of it."

"When do we leave?" Hope asked.

"As soon as you're ready," Amodar replied, glancing up at him. "I realize that you're going to be without some of your supplies since you're currently off your home base, but I guarantee that the Guardian Core's armory will be more than capable of making up the difference. Farron can give you the grand tour before you go." Hope nodded, accepting his terms.

"Do we have a packet to go with this mission?" Lightning asked as she stood, her back straight as she stared at her superior.

"Yes," Amodar nodded from his seat. "I've sent a copy of the intel to the airship waiting for you on dock. It's small, but fast and meant only for short distances. It should only take you a few minutes to reach the site if you go fast enough." Lightning nodded. Taking a deep breath, she pulled her nerves tightly together, binding them with a knot and plugging them with a cork.

This was no time to let her emotions get the better of her. She was Lightning now, not Claire or Light. And the man behind her was Thunder Sorrow. So long as he realized that, then there was nothing to worry about. A door had been the barrier between them before, and now it'd be their jobs. They were in the military, were both highly trained soldiers mentally and physically. If Thunder was as good as his reputation boasted, then she shouldn't have anything to worry about.

Simply professional.

Huffing, she turned on her heel before looking directly at him. In her eyes however, despite his familiar appearance, all she saw was her colleague and combat partner. He raised his eyebrows questioningly, but there was no hint of any kind of history between them behind the look. It was shallow, just as her expression was. Just two soldiers doing their duty.

"To the armory then," Lightning issued and Thunder stepped back from the door. Bowing his head slightly, he gestured forward, allowing her to lead the way, which she did without hesitation. And as they left, Amodar wished them good luck, a comment neither one of them felt the need to reply to.

Keeping pace behind Lightning, Hope remained silent as she stalked quickly down the hall. He didn't say a word as they went, pumping his legs to keep up with her fast pace. This was the first time he'd be alone with her since coming back, basically, and he wouldn't take advantage of it. He refused. Why?

Because it was unprofessional. As of the current moment, he was Thunder Sorrow, and that meant personal business was shut up behind closed doors. They had a job to get to and he wouldn't do or say anything that would jeopardize that. Not just for the sake of his own military reputation, but of his reputation when it came to Light's opinion. He knew she was serious when it came to work and was exerting just as much effort as he was to hide her vulnerabilities.

They'd get this mission done as Lightning Farron and Thunder Sorrow. No more, no less.

Only vaguely paying attention to where they were headed, Hope registered in the back of his mind that they'd left the office area of the building and were now marching down a less decorated hall. They were in a soldier's territory now, where paperwork and filing were a chore given to someone else.

Lightning didn't waste any time and soon they were headed through the automatic doors into the armory. The setup was easy enough to follow. Everything was divided into different categories, separated accordingly, and all he need do is go to the correct area and pick out what he wanted. They were in the upper level armory, allowed in by Lightning's keycard, and were thus granted the best of the best.

As quickly as they'd arrived, Hope found himself alone. Light had ventured further into the room, beginning to gather the weapons and other supplies she'd need. Following her example, Hope began to scour the area. The mission was supposed to be short and to the point, so he didn't want to carry a lot. Besides, he'd learned over the years that when facing new monsters, it was best to be as unadorned as possible.

So running was easier and as fast as possible.

Odds were however, based on the description he'd gotten from Amodar, they'd be doing some climbing, probably down rather than up, but climbing nonetheless. Which meant the tight-fitting black suits he and Lightning had sported on their previous missions would be useless. Yes, they were thin and versatile, but could hardly stand up to the harsh conditions of a cliff side.

Grabbing a pair of thick black pants made up of a mixture of nylon and cotton, he checked to make sure they had an adequate amount of pockets before grabbing a matching jacket. Not caring that Lightning was also in the room, she wasn't paying attention to him, he kicked off his shoes and tore off his jeans before replacing them with the pants and his size leather boots he'd pulled off a shelf. Stripping out of his thin yellow jacket, he then pulled on the military grade equal, leaving it unzipped and revealing his black tank top.

He then hunted for the appropriate mechs needed for any mission – climbing, landing, jumping, swimming, etc… careful to only take as much as he'd need. After that, it was over to weapons. Their gunblade selection was admirable, but not as varied as he would have preferred. Still, they possessed a model T13 of his particular favorite type, which was only a level lower than his own personal one. But he'd left that back at his base in the Edge.

Strapping it to his side, he grabbed the appropriate ammo and slung it over his shoulder before moving on to airwings. The boomerang selection was extremely poor. Not that he was particular surprised, the weapon wasn't always taken seriously, but he never felt comfortable going into battle without one. Taking up a model that was an appropriate size in comparison to his body type, he fold it before stuffing it into the holster he'd strapped to his thigh.

All that was left was to grab a small bag of dissolved food, which, though not exactly tasty, would sustain one person for up to a month if necessary. The bag strapped easily to the other side of his belt, opposite his gunblade, and after getting it comfortable, he felt himself ready to depart.

Hardly taken seven minutes.

Not bothering to drop his pants down over his boots, he left them sitting lazily atop the lips as he made his way towards the door, where Lightning had just stopped and turned to look at him. She too was dressed in an outfit like his, her gunblade at its typical position behind her back. Unlike him however, she wore a white tank top and had zipped up her jacket partway, managing to look far more severe than he did despite their similar attire.

Neither said anything as they finally joined up once again. Rather, they simply blinked in affirmation that they were ready to move out before Lightning once again began to lead the way. She left the armory and kept moving down the hall the same way they'd been going previously, Hope following at her heels.

Soon, the hall opened up into a huge, towering section fill with parked airships. Mechanics and pilots walked to and fro, not even taking a second glance at the two as they hunkered across the large garage to the huge doors open on the other side. The cloudy murk of the day drifted in, not allowing for much natural light as they whisked their way towards the airship ready and waiting at the edge of the dock. A few mechanics busied around it, checking every last minute bullet point before they'd be forced to give the machine up to the soldiers who'd likely destroy it before consider fixing it.

Getting the okay from one of the mechanics, both Lightning and Hope climbed aboard their designated airship, Lightning sitting in the pilots seat as Hope sat back in the passenger seat beside her. Neither of them were registered pilots with either Core, but they still knew the basics. And since this mission didn't require any intense aerial techniques, they should be fine.

Lightning starting the engines, Hope listened silently to the familiar purr that had lulled him into sleep on many of the nights he'd spent skyward during the last six years. It calmed him, both in body and mind, because it meant they were falling into the regular protocols of a mission. Most people probably wouldn't be relaxed, knowing they were about to enter into a combat situation, but Hope found a kind of regularity to it.

Just the same old, same old.

Reaching out to the control panel between him and Lightning, he tapped into the screen until he'd brought up the correct briefing file. Tapping through it, he found the map that would lead them to the correct destination as the airship, at Lightning's command, began to lift from the ground. Below, a few of the pilots and mechanics watched for a few moments before going back to their business. Hope focused his attention on the window to his right, refusing to look at his partner.

Yes, he'd act professionally, do his duty, but that didn't mean being right beside her was easy.

He'd been doing a lot of thinking lately, mostly the night before. He'd sat up in his old bedroom, lying on his bed, and just considered everything he'd learned recently. Meaning in relation to the woman beside him. Unfortunately, he hadn't come to any solutions that would allow him to break down her barriers, but he had come to a better understanding of how she'd changed since he'd left. And what she'd been through.

Initially he'd been shocked by what Serah had told him. Imagining that Light could fall to such… unfortunate lows was unfathomable to him. He'd wanted to know why those men had hurt her, and why she'd let them. Always in his head, she'd been this beacon of strength, his reason to push forward. Yes, he'd humored that she'd have found someone while he was gone, maybe a few someone's, but never had he thought she'd go through the ups and downs that she had. She'd always been this invincible, unstoppable, unbendable force.

But where was the logic in thinking such things? Lightning wasn't superwoman, she was human just like everyone else, and he felt guilty that he'd allowed such delusions to blind him. She was just was capable of falling to hurt as anyone else. Just as vulnerable. People could boast and brag about being unaffected by the world around them, by the people that scarred them, but it was all a farce in the end. Even the strongest, most inspirational people could tumble into that pit.

Even Light.

He hated it, that she'd been betrayed by not just him, but another who she'd placed her trust in. Because Hope had deduced that it was that first relationship, the man that had used her, that had progressed her defensiveness. This man had acted as though he'd wanted to move at her pace, but only because he'd been getting the rest of what he'd wanted on the side. And Lightning had been brave enough to trust him. Because of anything a person could do, placing unwavering trust in another required the most courage.

But that man had destroyed it. He'd broken her.

Yet, still, she'd gotten back up. She'd put herself out there. Damaged as she'd been, she'd tried again. She'd gone about it the wrong way, trying to overcompensate for the faults of her previous relationship, but that didn't change the fact that she'd still allowed herself to form feelings for another, even if she hadn't been brave enough to voice them. To possess such persistence and determination in the face of one of the scariest things in the world was beyond commendable, and Hope felt weak in comparison.

He'd been too afraid to tell her how he'd really felt, afraid of rejection. He could have before he'd left, but hadn't found the courage to do so. Instead, he'd become someone else, hiding from himself until he could feel safe enough to return.

But Lightning, she'd quit hiding. She'd pushed forward, trying to find her happiness, and the world had thrown her back with its cruelty. Even after two heartbreaks, two failures, even then she'd eventually tried to open up to someone else. And that man had abandoned her, just as _he_ had. It wasn't fair, what had happened to her. The want to be loved, to be close to someone, was an innate need ingrained into all of them. It wasn't fair that Lightning had been denied that, especially after all she'd done. She, above anyone, deserved that. At least as far as he was concerned. She'd raised her little sister after her parents deaths, forced herself into becoming an adult before she should have had to. While Hope, after his mother had left him, had sought out revenge.

Lightning had only been a year older than he'd been when she'd lost her mother, and she'd immediately done what was necessary. While he'd remained a confused mess with no direction. Not until she'd gotten through to him. It was her influence that had pushed him into becoming someone capable of thinking on his own. She'd protected him, which had later led to overprotectiveness, but shielded him when he'd needed it nonetheless.

She'd never thought of herself, not until after he'd left when she'd tried to find some semblance of happiness with another person. And she'd been shot down despite getting up and fighting on. Shot down until she no longer had the will to try anymore. Because how could happiness with someone be worth it when the pain that followed was so unbearable?

Light had always been a determined woman, always ready to fight on, so Hope wasn't surprised this had translated to her personal life. And had she not been so thoroughly shot down, she'd know doubt be a very dedicated, loyal partner to a very lucky man. Seeing her now, so broken and… afraid, it made him wish that one of her relationships had worked out, if only to save her the agony. He'd rather she be with someone else than with him if she could find happiness.

He just didn't know how to help her…

"We're coming up on the mission site now," Lightning's cool, collected voice drifted across the small cabin of the airship, Hope turning his head to catch her in his gaze. He glanced at her for only a moment however before scooting forward in his seat and staring out the front window. As Amodar had said, it'd only taken them minutes to reach their destination. Coming closer as they flew, Hope could see the large, dark hole that had been inflicted on the ground, a line of yellow caution tape surrounding it. There were also a few guards standing by, though none terribly close to the pit.

Eye narrowed, Hope pursed his lips thoughtfully.

"Let's not land yet," he stated suddenly, Lightning glancing his way only quickly before focusing once again on the window. Hope, turning his focus to the digital map on the center console, took in the small map, his eyes scouring every bump the vague image allowed. It didn't provide him with much however.

"Are you going to tell me why?" Lightning eventually asked, her tone stern and unwavering.

"Yeah, sorry," Hope replied, still thoughtful. "I know you can't look at this map, but further north there are some abandoned natural caves that were used for mining. They were left only a few months after their discovery because the tunnels kept collapsing after unexplainable earthquakes."

"Are you suggesting that those caves are another entrance into this creature's lair?" she asked, catching on immediately. Not that her quick thinking could possibly come as a surprise.

"It's a possibility," Hope nodded. "And if that's true, then it's probably safe to assume there's an underground tunnel system going through this cliff. I can't imagine that a creature smart enough to actually make a move against humans and swallow an outpost would simply be waiting at the bottom of a hole." There had to be more to it.

"So you think we should enter through the caves?" Lightning asked.

"No, there's no way to do that. They're completely collapsed." Still staring at the map, he considered the squiggly line that symbolized the edge of the cliff. Where the land met the water. "Fly us over the edge, above the water." With no objections, Lightning did as she was asked, Hope standing before going back behind his seat. Once there, he pulled open the door, granting his eyes an unclouded view of the cliff side safe from the glares and reflections of the window.

He leaned out into the open air, his hand clasped to a handle beside the door as he surveyed the area. His silver hair blew roughly around his face, but he easily ignored it.

"If this creature is big enough to swallow an outpost," Lightning's voice entered his head and he bent back into the airship so the wind wasn't affecting his hearing, "then I find it odd that no one has mentioned encountering it before. If it was a tunneling monster, then certainly there would have been reports of quakes as well."

"But the only two viable encounters it had with humans were to attack us," Hope picked up on her train of thought. "It got rid of the outpost and closed up the caves…"

"Sounds like defensive measures to me," Lightning continued. "Protecting something. If we enter in through one of those obvious places, we're likely to be attacked before we even know what we're up against, especially this fresh off its last assault." Hope nodded in agreement.

"But if it closed the only land entrance and created a new one just to get rid of what it thought was a threat, then land must not be its proper habitat," Hope deduced as he stared down at the water. The same thoughts were running through Lightning's head, both of them regretting not taking wetsuits with them.

Well, they had a job to do. They'd survive.

"I'm going to land the ship on the edge of the cliff," Lightning alerted, backtracking their trajectory over land once again. Lowering the airship to the ground, she made a graceful stop, the engines shutting down as she flipped the correct switches. At the same time, Hope opened the door the rest of the way before hopping out. His partner followed a few seconds later, the two of them approaching the edge of the grassy precipice before looking down the cliff side at the roiling, splashing water.

"Considering the fact that it's smart enough to close entrances and attack outposts, it's probably smart enough to realize humans are land prone," Lightning stated over the wind that whipped through their hair. "Which means that if it expects retaliation, it won't be from underwater." In other words, they might have the advantage if they could sneak through the back door.

"Time for a swim then," Hope replied, his eyebrow cocking as he stared down at the water. Granted, it was later spring, which meant the temperatures were warmer, but the water was still going to be freezing. They had their l'Cie magic if necessary however, fire to warm them, and Hope had always had an affinity for spells.

Taking a deep breath, both of them stood at the edge of the cliff, preparing themselves for the leap. Making sure their weapons were all securely intact as well as all their other supplies, the two quickly cast each other one last look before, muscles tensing, vaulting from the edge.

The jump from the cliff to the water was by far shorter than any leaps they'd made from the air, which meant there was no time to appreciate the feeling of flight in their stomachs. The way the wind pulled back on their hair and how the isolation of the speed felt clean against all their personal worries and concern.

No time. The water was rushing towards them, the colliding waves against the cliff side enough to crush a human. Instead, the both of them snapped their fingers, activating the correct mech before they'd be plummeted into the water. Because if they waited too long, if they failed to initiate the tool, they'd be done for.

Registering the energy that zipped around his body, Hope pursed his lips. It took only seconds for their decent to end, but to him, to Lightning, it felt like slow motion. They both knew the water below was going to be excruciating, and this knowledge only seemed to extend the torturous thoughts of what it was going to feel like. Because they both knew; they'd both been through it before, but knowing as much was worse than having no expectations.

What felt like a slackened pace however couldn't stop the inevitable and as they hit the water, they both closed their eyes and tried to numb themselves to the striking pain of the chilled waves.

It didn't work however.

The water pulled in on them, dragging them down with its determination and striking them with what felt like a thousand needles piercing through every nerve and pore in their bodies. The shock of the sensation, of being stabbed across every piece of their flesh, momentarily shocked them both, leaving their forms limp to be carried by the current to a painful death smeared across the front of the cliff.

It was only their discipline, their trained ability to think quickly, that snapped them out of their stupor. Knowing they were headed for death if they didn't act, they both forced their bodies to twist until their hands were outstretched before them, just in time to catch them against the cliff. And as they did, their mech responded, softening the blow and keeping them in place upon the rocks despite how the waves crashed and shoved at their backs.

Glancing around quickly, they managed to locate each other, some few yards between them. Hope was a little lower, having been pushed down further upon impact.

So they'd made it through the worst. Their bodies were numb and unfeeling with the cold, the needles of the water having gone so deep that their ability to feel had evaporated. It wasn't necessarily healthy, but it allowed them, the trained professionals that they were, to think more rationally.

They both knew their time was limited, so there was no reason to consider anything but the mission. Making sure to keep at least two limbs connected to the cliff side at all times, they began to climb lower, forcefully ignoring the pressure of the water. The further they got from the waves, from the top of the ocean, the heavier the water felt on their shoulders. But the heaving unevenness of the waves diminished, drowned out by the sheer weight of the water below.

Glancing up only quickly, Hope watched as the sunlight slowly vanished, leaving them in a state of darkness.

However, though their shoulders felt weighed down, it was relieving to be rid of the ferocious bite the ocean cast at the surface. The threat of being battered and slashed against the side of the cliff was no longer a fear, which meant the worst was behind.

Now they just had to find an entrance into the creature's lair.

Snapping his fingers to disengage the climbing mech, Hope pushed himself from the wall before snapping his finger once again, this time activating a different technology. A light blue zap zipped around him, striking veins up his legs, across his torso, and down his arms before coming back up over his shoulders. The energy came to a final point directly in front of his lips and he took a deep breath, his nerves calming considerably when he was able to release the air he'd been holding and not be assaulted by water.

His body too was denser, weighing him down so he wasn't pulled back up to the surface. Moving his arms and legs in a steady motion, he kept himself swimming in place as Lightning, her same mech also initiated, swam up beside him.

They couldn't speak, but they were both well versed in the behavior necessary of a mission. Nodding only once, Hope reached out and pushed his body in one direction along the cliff side while lightning did the same going the opposite way. Hopefully, with both of them covering ground, they'd be able to find an entrance in a decent amount of time. If the creature was an underwater monster that made its home in tunnels inside the cliff, then it was logical to assume that there were multiple ways of getting in. Hopefully they'd come across one sooner rather than later.

Swimming lower, Hope activated yet another mech that formed an energy bound bar across his eyes. It lit up the darkness, giving him the ability to see, which was rather crucial if he was looking for a giant hole. He kept his attention on the cliff, searching for any nook or cranny that could lead to an entrance.

It was interesting however, how far down he had to go before he reached the ocean floor. Surrounding the cliff were beaches, which meant this area was formed by a an abrupt decline from the continent above. Almost as if something had carved out a huge section of the ocean floor to form a gigantic bowl around the cliff.

It was disconcerting, mostly because of the size and area. Either they were dealing with something very, very large, very old, or a plethora of monsters living together. He was hoping on the old part, that the creature had just had lots of time to do what it had done. Or perhaps it was done over generations. They wouldn't know until they found it.

Hope wasn't finding any entrances however, his lips pursing as he breathed steadily in and out through his nose.

His nerves spiked however when he sensed something gliding through the water behind him. Whipping around, ready for a fight as any soldier would be, he calmed when he saw that it was only Lightning. She beckoned to him before going back the way she'd come, which meant she must have found something.

Swimming quickly behind, Hope followed her easily through the dark water, the two of them heading nearer and nearer to the holed-out ocean floor.

And there, carved out near the bottom, was a single outlet, the water gushing through it and almost seeming to pull them in. The entrance, or one of them, that they'd been looking for. The two didn't even bother to pause before they swam towards it. There was no point worth considering. They had to get in and this was the method they'd decided on. Simple as that.

Lightning leading the way, they ducked into the tunnel, pumping their legs forward as they entered the even darker shadows of the cave. The entrance drifted further and further away, both noticing that the cave climbed at a slight incline. Wherever they were headed, it was further up into the cliff. And if it went much higher, they'd be above sea-level.

Not long after this understanding had come to them, both saw a vague, shimmering blue glow further up in the tunnel. Continuing to swim towards it, the water began to ripple, signaling that they were breaching sea-level and that whatever was giving off the light was somewhere beyond the water.

Pushing themselves the final distance, they both splashed up out of the water, breathing evenly as they shook the water from their hair. Snapping their fingers, they both disengaged the bar over their eyes and the waterproofing mech, once again back to their typical human abilities as they surveyed the area.

And neither of them had ever seen anything quite like it.

All around them, growing from the ceilings, sticking up out of the ground, crawling across the walls, were blue-glowing crystals. Not in the magical sense, but brightly lit, sharp edged rocks nonetheless. They lit up the passage, stretching down the tunnel before them as far as the eye could see.

Climbing up out of the water, the two momentarily forgot their surroundings as a chill dropped down upon them. The air above sea level seemed considerably colder and they quickly conjured up flames, warming their hands as they sent the heated energy spiraling through their bodies. Setting themselves on fire wasn't exactly the goal, so they were careful not to charge too much of the energy, knowing that magic could be unstable if not handled carefully.

"W-well," Hope shivered, "we won't have any reason to worry about seeing in the dark." At least as far as they could tell anyway. There was only one way they could go and it was completely ignited in blue. What lay beyond on the other hand…

"Dammit!" Flicking his gaze to Lightning, Hope raised his eyebrows at her profanity. She hadn't been listening to a word he'd been saying however, her concentration on the fire spell in her hands. A spell that wasn't exactly going as she would have preferred.

As far as magic was concerned, Lightning had never been gifted. Yes, she'd worked hard at it and mastered some, her determination pulling her through, but she'd never had the natural inclinations that Vanille or Hope had been privy to. And it would appear, based on how her flame kept flickering up and out, that she was having trouble controlling it in her chilled, shaking state.

"Here." Walking over to her, Hope closed the distance between them, his own flame going out as he reached out and took her hands in his. Honestly, he had been just as surprised by the action as she had been, not realizing what he'd done until he'd, well, done it. And as their eyes flicked up, meeting, he gulped back the way his nerves spiked, tearing his gaze from hers as quickly as it had come. "I'll help you," he continued, his voice softer. He could feel how tense Lightning was, her fingers stiff and claw-like next to his, but he didn't allow her reaction to sway him.

This was all professional. She was his mission partner – it was his job to look out for her.

Taking a deep breath, he focused his concentration on the fire, watching as a small flame formed above both his and Lightning's hands. At the same time, he regulated the heated sensation, pressing it from his body to hers. Like a well-running circuit, the warmth transferred from him to her and back again, recycled and reused until neither of them were shivering.

And when this became obvious to both of them, when their body heat was back to normal, Lightning practically yanked her hands from Hope's. Not that he'd expected any less. He'd be lying if he claimed that touching her hadn't sent a thrill through his whole system, but it wasn't the time or place for such feelings. The action of her pulling so fiercely away from him was downing, but he couldn't let it show. There'd be time for all that after they'd completed their prerogative.

Besides, he needed to focus. Lightning was already heading down the tunnel, leaving him behind. Spurring his feet into action, he followed quietly behind, the flow of crystals leading the way.

Lightning, her hands at her sides, kept herself from clenching them into fists by placing them firmly against her sides. Her pace, though probably perceived as simple perseverance, felt rushed to her. As if the shadow behind her was something to escape. And, to her, it probably was.

Hope had always been excellent when it came to magic. Because he'd been so young, his physical abilities had always been something to be desired, but always he'd had strength in magic. It would appear that, even as Thunder, he'd retained that ability, easily able to cast when she'd been too cold to even get a spark going.

And he'd held her hands.

No, hadn't held, simply taken. His intentions had been of a professional nature, that was it. It didn't matter that… that she'd recognized those hands. Remembered them from days long gone from her life. Things she should have forgotten a long time ago…

_"Light, you _have_ to come!" he insisted, smiling at her as he crossed his arms over his chest. He was glancing up at her - though he had gotten taller since they'd begun living on Pulse. Only slightly however. _

_ "I have to work," she replied easily, casting him a skeptical brow before focusing again on the papers on her desk. "Pulse doesn't build itself." _

_ "I know," he agreed, "but that doesn't mean you have to work all the time. Trust me Light, there are plenty of people that can take care of all those reports for you. Now come _on_!" He took a step closer to her, causing her to huff as she glanced up at him. "Let's go!" _

_ He held out his hand, smiling wider as he did. _

_ And Lightning, unable to refuse him, sighed and placed her hand in his. _

_ Holding tight, he pulled her unwillingly along behind him._

Pursing her lips, Lightning tried to shove the memory from her head. She didn't have the time to be distracted by such things. By how she'd immediately recognized his delicate hold when he'd clasped his hands around hers only moments before. How his fingers had still held that soft yet firm grip, as if his resolve was both definite yet subtle. As if his strength came from somewhere underneath. From under where, she didn't know, but it was the only way she could explain it to herself.

No, she had to focus on what was different. On how his hands had grown since that time six years ago, now large enough to fully encompass her own. How they were calloused and scarred, torn from constant battle practice. Their roughness was akin to her own, knowledgeable in ways a fifteen-year-old Hope had never been.

Mature, sure and direct, his hands.

_Educated_.

She needed to think about something else.

Narrowing both her eyes and focus, she pushed forward through the cave. Careful not to disturb anything, she picked her way quickly through the path, intent on reaching their destination, whatever that was, as efficiently as possible. More so to simply get it over with than because she cared about the needed haste.

It was becoming increasingly difficult however. The path was getting thinner, the crystals growing larger and making it harder to get around them. As if, perhaps, the path they were currently on wasn't used very often and had become overgrown. Because whatever these glowing shards were, they were alive to a certain extent, getting bigger all the time.

Soon, the two of them found that they had no choice but to climb on the crystals, the tunnel turning to an incline. Grappling upwards, they stepped from protruding shard to shard, thankful that everything appeared to be sturdy enough to withstand their weight. Lightning led the charge, Hope watching her go more out of the corner of his eyes than anything. It was very distracting, staring up at her as she… climbed above his head.

_Professionalism_.

Wherever they were headed, it better not lead to a dead-end. There was an apparent tunnel, but it was jam-packed with the growing crystals, making it hard to tell where it ended. All they could do was climb and climb and hope they got somewhere. Because if they had to climb all the way back out and swim around looking for another entrance, well, they'd both be annoyed.

Hearing a crack, Hope snapped his eyes to attention, watching as the last crystal Lightning had stepped on broke away beneath her foot. She slipped down, half her body still suspended while the other dragged her off balance. Reaching up instinctively, Hope grabbed her around the lower calf, his arm and hand wrapping around her leg, catching her before she could be pulled totally off kilter.

She was tense in his hold, no doubt because she'd been preparing to somehow catch herself. And he wasn't sure if it was surprise that caused her to pause in his hold or relief, because she remained locked, hanging awkwardly, for a few more seconds than she'd really needed to before she'd finally moved her leg back up and started to climb again, Hope's grip falling away as he followed.

As he furrowed his eyebrows curiously.

Lightning, however, had to quickly refocus on the task, the thought of his steady hold only flitting swiftly through her mind before she promptly took the thought and threw it out her ear.

Climb! Up, up, up!

Grappling for the crystals, she pulled herself upwards even faster than before, heaving her body on as her arms struggled to support her whole weight. But her muscles were accustomed to the strain and didn't fail her as she scaled further. As she hauled her body up over a ridge of crystals only to find that it was the last of the ascent. There was nothing left to grab and she instead scrambled over the lip and onto the level.

Her companion followed behind, but she didn't pay him any mind as she stood straight, glancing around. They'd risen out of an uneven hole, but before them, on either side, was still more crystal. Only now there was no apparent rock beneath. They'd made their way into a crystal nest, completely surrounded in the glowing blue stone. But there was a path, another tunnel scattered with the pointed tips and jagged edges of the crystal.

They'd come up in the middle somewhere, one side headed one way while another led in the opposite.

Lightning pursed her lips.

"We should keep going this way," she decided, gesturing down the way that would logically lead further into the labyrinth. Without even the slightest of hesitations, she started down the tunnel, aware that her partner followed quietly behind. They stepped through shards of the odd stone, around huge growing patches, and as the forest of crystal began to grow thicker and more complex, they both wondered what type of creatures could possibly navigate through such a maze.

They tried not to doubt, but as the terrain became more and more treacherous, neither could help it. Their job was just as much about time as it was the slaying of whatever had done this. If they didn't start to make any known progress, they would have to turn back and find another way, if only to attempt a second try in the hopes that they'd make more progress.

Brow furrowing in slight irritation, Lightning stepped from around a particularly pointed shard before stopping dead in her tracks. Eyes widening, she halted immediately when a large, firm hand wrapped around her shoulder, almost pulling her backwards.

_Blinking upwards, she withdrew her focus from the reading of her report when two hands landed on her shoulders. She could tell right away however who it was, that familiar, gentle yet stern hold giving away everything. His grasp was steady, balanced, and as familiar to her as her own grip. _

_"Are you almost done?" he asked as he placed his chin atop her head, his hands moving from her shoulders to allow his arms to wrap loosely around her neck. He was leaning against the back of her couch, no doubt frowning above her. _

_ "I don't know," she replied honestly, not minding his hold. If there was one thing she'd learned about Hope since they'd picked up the pieces of their lives once again, it was that he was extremely affectionate, not shy about physical contact. It'd taken some getting used to; she wasn't accustomed to such forward physical interaction. But she knew that when it came to him, she had nothing to be wary of, so she allowed it. _

_ Even felt comforted by it sometimes. _

_ "Why do you want to know?" she asked. _

_ "Because," he took a deep breath, "you promised last week that you'd teach me more about combat using a gunblade. And I know you're leaving out on mission tomorrow, so…" Lightning smiled, finding an innocent kind of charm in his unnecessary interests._

_ "Why do you want to know that kind of thing anyway?" she asked as she dropped her report to her lap. Reaching up, she placed her hand lightly atop his arm, the warmth of his skin soothing after a day spent alone in her office. His company was always a relief from the day. _

_ "Why shouldn't I?" he asked skeptically, his voice cracking slightly, which caused Lightning to smile to herself. Such occurrences had been happening a lot as of recently, his voice generally normal, but spiking higher every once in a while. And on even rarer occasions, it'd dip down lower, a new, foreign voice echoing from his throat. Lightning had come to realize that it must be his future coming to light, a peek at what he'd sound like later years down the road. And he never seemed to be able to control it. _

_ "Because you don't need to," Lightning replied easily. "You should be focusing on school, not fighting." The military shouldn't be his desired field of interest. He could do so much more, so much better. He deserved that. _

_ "Well… maybe I hate school," he replied, his jaw moving atop her head. "Everything they're teaching just seems so… juvenile. And all the other students too." He sighed, Lightning cocking a skeptical brow. _

_ "Maybe you're just in too much of a hurry to grow up," she reasoned, noting how his arms tensed around her. And in response, an automatic comfort for whatever was going through his head, she tightened her hold on his arm. _

_ "I am grown up," he replied, his tone almost steely. He sounded of total seriousness. _

_ "You're a teenager," Lightning replied simply. It was then that he finally released her, snapping backwards and out of her grasp with what she thought was unnecessary harshness. Turning her head over her shoulders, she furrowed her eyebrows as she finally caught him in her sights. He stood behind her, a few feet away, his lips pursed tight. _

_ "Why is it that all you can see is my age?" he asked, Lightning raising her eyebrows in surprise when his tone dipped into that lower octave, the voice of a grown man leaving his lips. "I'm not just a teenager, but that's all any of you can see." His green eyes were burning, staring into her with maturity she was quite positive had no place being there._

_ "That's because it's what you are," she replied, her mood becoming serious in the face of his rebellious demeanor. "Trust me, you don't want to be older than you already are." She spoke from experience. She'd been forced to grow up at his exact same age and she wished the same fate on no one. _

_ "You don't understand…" he shook his head, his voice returning to normal. Staring at her for only a moment longer, he turned on his heel and walked out the door, disappearing. _

_ Lightning, taking a deep breath, allowed her shoulders to drop as she stared at the empty space where he'd been standing._

"Lightning," that deep voice echoed in her head once again. The sound of Hope as a grown man, something that had once been an oddity. "Are you alright?" His hold tightening on her shoulder, she blinked back into focus, shaking her head. Flicking her eyes to the side, she was forced to look up to catch those concerned green eyes. Eyes that were brightened further by the glowing crystal blue around them.

"I'm fine," she replied, pausing for only a moment before shrugging off his hold. He didn't attempt to keep his hand in place, which was a relieving to her. "Why did you stop?" She refused to look at him again, not wanting to see those mature green eyes staring back at her. Eyes that were so familiar, but placed in a body she didn't recognize.

The body of a man.

"I…" Hope furrowed his eyebrows, staring at her in concern, but didn't comment on her behavior, "thought we should have a look at this." He gestured to the crystal wall beneath their feet, Lightning's blue eyes snapping downwards.

He knew he probably shouldn't have grabbed her in order to get her attention. Simply calling out to her would have done the job. He'd let his curiosity get the better of him. Just as she'd reacted oddly when he'd grabbed her leg, he'd wondered if she would again. It was unprofessional, he knew that, and he felt ashamed for having knowingly made her uncomfortable. But if she was merely not wanting any physical contact, he felt that she would have responded immediately; snapped away. But instead she'd just stood there, allowing him to hold her. As if, perhaps, she was okay with the contact, but… afraid to admit it?

He wasn't sure…

"Look at the variations in the crystal," he finally looked away from her, crouching down so he could touch the stone beneath their feet. "Obviously it's thick, but it should still be more shadowed than this." The other crystal some ways back had been. As if there'd been something behind it.

"You're right," Lightning crouched down beside him, her eyebrows furrowed as she considered his observation. "It's like there's no cave behind it," she caught on to his same thought process. "I wonder…" her eyes narrowed. "I wonder if we're above…" Above what? The lair? They couldn't possibly know. But it didn't matter. They had to investigate; there was no other choice in the matter.

"How do you want to break through it?" Hope asked, glancing up at her despite the fact that she refused to grant him the same attention. "We can't risk making any noise." She nodded in agreement. If they did happen to be above the lair, then they had to avoid alerting whatever laid within to their presence.

Staring down at her hand, Lightning conjured a flame. Hope watched as she tried to heat it, the color brightening to blue for only a moment before it vanished. And Lightning sighed it frustration. Truth be told, it was much easier to create large quantities of flame than perhaps a smaller, hotter one. For attacking, the fast, cooler burning orange was appropriate.

But for a job like this…

"Let me do it," Hope stated steadily, hoping that he was getting it across in his tone that he wasn't insulting her, just acknowledging that he was better with magic. It was fact, not a bragging right.

And as he'd expected, Lightning nodded without a fight. She was more than capable of realizing her strengths and weaknesses. Hope, for example, was pretty good with a gunblade, better than most actually, but he knew he'd always lose to Lightning. She had a natural gift for physical combat, something he'd had to work towards the whole time he'd been gone.

Taking a deep, steady breath, Hope laid his hands down on the crystal. Closing his eyes, he focused all his attention in pulling energy up through his body. And he centered that entirely beneath his hands, not even allowing a flame to form. Instead, he just put forth as much heat as he could. Because it was going to take an incredibly high temperature to melt through crystal.

Despite how he avoided a direct flame however, a striking blue glow still emanated from beneath his hands, the heat apparent to both him and even Lightning as he tightened his jaw and pressed.

He forced all his concentration into his hands, shoving them down into the crystal as he melted it away. And he tried to spread the heat out further, to make the hole bigger and he pushed and pushed through the thick, glowing stone. He ignored the heat, the way the energy pumping through him squeezed sweat out of every poor. He couldn't focus on anything else because if he let any of the striking heat leave his hands, let it travel through his body, he was going to burn up within seconds. Magic was tricky, dangerous, and he wasn't exactly doing something that was safe.

Keep the heat out, pushing through his fingers. Don't let it spring back.

He scrunched his eyes as tightly together as he could, ignoring all parts of his body, of his mind, and made himself into only his hands. At that moment that was all of him that existed. Those hands as he pressed them deeper and deeper. As he burned a whole through stone.

And because all he was at that moment was heat, was the energy he was pumping forward, he had a heightened sense of the warmth around him. He could feel the woman standing beside him, knew she was reaching out to him even as she did it.

He snapped his eyes back open.

"Stay back!" he hissed as he vaulted out of the ditch he'd melted in the crystal. Breath heaving with exertion, he detected the sweat that was pouring down his body and the way his vision blurred, spotting. But none of it was relevant, not as he tried to zero in on Lightning.

"You were going to burn a hole straight through!" she defended, her tone quiet but equally as fierce. "You would have fallen through!" Her voice was scolding, angry as she glared down at him.

"And do you have any idea what would have happened if you'd touched me?" he snapped, also conscious to keep the volume low. "You'd have been burned! Severely!" She knew the basics of magic and he was beyond irritated that she'd dared even consider putting herself in that kind of danger. The body reacted to the magic it was casting. Ice made it cold, fire made it warm, so on. If she'd even grazed him, all that energy he'd been pouring forth would have found a new outlet and grabbed hold of her. It would have surged through her in the same way he was currently pushing it into the crystal.

The human body wouldn't have stood a chance.

"I couldn't let you fall through," she reasoned, her words biting.

"I knew what I was doing, I-"

"Your hands!" Her defensive stature dropped abruptly, her eyes widening as she stared. He'd been gesturing towards her angrily, still so pumped with the fizzling power of magic that feeling hadn't returned to him totally. Besides that, he was far too exhausted to care much about anything. That was, except Lightning. No matter how much energy was zapped from him, he'd always think of her.

Pulling his palms up, he glanced down, noticing for the first time the way they were pulsating with red. He could see the bone, his muscle raw and stringy, barely holding together. His skin had melted away, only the edges left as the flesh sizzled and formed with the tendons beneath.

And, as the numbness of power faded, he finally felt the pain.

Sitting back fully on the crystal, his body began to quizzer in both agony and fatigue, his hands starting to shake before the tremble spread to his arms. His mind was sane, he was able to comprehend, but it was all too much for his weak human form. He was entering into shock, his vision fading in and out as he tried to snap healing energy into action. But he had nothing left. He'd was spent.

When he'd surged backwards, away from Lightning, he hadn't had the time to get rid of all the heat he'd been pushing forward. Some of it had stayed behind, burning into his hands before finally evaporating.

Darkness was crowding in, his hands shaking even more as he tried to hold them up against their screaming rebellion.

He was losing consciousness.

But even as he leaned his head back, he saw a soothing light begin to crowd in. It slowly spread through his whole body, starting at his hands and making it's way back. He knew the feeling, he'd experienced her healing multiple times before. Magic was like a fingerprint, everyone who used it had an individual approach, a particular method, and he'd know the forceful, measured technique that Lightning used for the rest of his life.

Her healing wasn't like his. He had the ability to cure in enormous amounts. It took more energy, but it was faster and he'd honed it so he could heal during battle. Lightning could work faster when she wanted, but her ability wasn't nearly as powerful that way. No, when she truly wanted to heal efficiently, she did it slowly, spreading the energy out like a net.

A warm, comforting net that, though perhaps wasn't suited for battle, made Hope feel as if he was sitting on a cloud.

And as the nerves in his hands finally started to regenerate, he was able to feel her hold wrapped tightly around his, her smaller grip barely big enough to fold wholly around. But it didn't matter. She pushed wave after wave of regenerating energy into him, eventually giving him the strength to pull his focus in and look at her.

Her head was bent, her pink hair falling over her left shoulder as her bangs hid her face from view. But Hope knew the look of concentration that would be laid therein, mostly because he was fully aware that casting magic took all her focus if it was to be successful.

"Thank you," he muttered when he was able to locate his voice again. His hands were healing accordingly, the skin reforming along with the muscle as she slowly pumped his system with energy. He knew, however, that by doing so, she was siphoning her own energy, so he couldn't let it continue for much longer.

Finally finding the strength to do so, he folded his hands over hers, the action seeming to take her by surprise as her magic came to a stuttering halt. Holding her hands, Hope leaned forward slightly, catching her gaze as she flicked her head upwards to look at him.

"Thank you," he repeated, making sure that she'd heard him the second time. There was no response to his words however, Lightning's expression tight at as she stared up at him.

As she looked into those reassuring green eyes.

_"Why do you look so upset?" he asked, his head cocking to the side. Lightning furrowed her eyebrows in response, somewhat taken aback by his question. And when Hope laughed, she tightened her lips in disapproval. "Oh c'mon," he teased. "You may think you're hiding your feelings, but I can see them plain as day. So?" he raised a questioning brow. _

_ "I'm not upset," she shrugged, glancing around her apartment kitchen and blatantly avoiding Hope's knowing gaze._

_ "Don't lie to me," he practically scolded, which caused Lightning's jaw to tighten. There was a pause in their conversation then, one that was eventually broken when Hope sighed. He took a step closer to her, reaching out and taking her hands in his. Holding them up between the both of them, he stared up at her, eventually drawing her eyes back to his. _

_ "You've been getting more and more distant as their wedding day gets closer," he observed, his fingers tightening around hers. "So tell me, what's bothering you?" Those green eyes bore into her, breaking down her defenses, as they always did. He was right; she couldn't hide anything from him. _

_ "I just…" she took a deep breath, her shoulders dropping. "Serah's always been my younger sister," she tried to explain. "I took care of her and now she's… getting married. Yet here I am… doing the same thing I always have…" Hope caught immediately onto her meaning, his expression softening. _

_ "Light," he shook his head. "You're worrying over nothing. Yeah, Serah's getting married, but that doesn't mean you won't." He saw that her cheeks pinked slightly at his blunt reference, her hands tensing in his own. But he refused to let her pull away. "You're still young and, to be honest, Serah might be too young. But you still have so much time. And there's a guy out there that will see all the amazing things that you are. You just… have to wait for him." He shrugged. _

_ And Lightning allowed her defenses to fall away. "How is it that you're so smart?" she asked, a small smile creasing her lips, his comforting words easing her slightly. _

_ Hope only managed a sheepish grin in response._

"It was necessary," Lightning explained as she stood, pulling her hands away. Turning, she faced away from him as she hugged her arms over her chest. She tried to keep control of her thoughts, tried to avoid those piercing green eyes and those steady hands. Hands that, only moments before, had been nearly destroyed. "You're right, I shouldn't have tried to stop you," her voice droned on. "You knew what you were doing. I apologize." Because he was her professional partner, not the boy that kept flitting in and out of her head. There was no reason for her to have acted the way she had, allowing slight alarm to overtake her as she'd reached out to stop him. He was right, she would have been severely injured if not killed.

He was Thunder Sorrow. Those hands and those eyes were familiar, but not the same.

She had to get that through her head.

"It's alright," Hope replied as he stood, still feeling somewhat drained, but far better than he had moments before. Glancing down at his hands, he flexed them, satisfied they were healed and back to normal. He imagined what they'd looked like only moments before, burned and raw, and was thankful that Lightning had been there, even if her actions had caused him to be disrupted in the first place.

Coming up next to her, he stared down at the melted hole before them. Back to business.

When he'd jumped back, he'd rushed the rest of the heat from his hands, most of it having transferred to the crystal. It'd melted fully through, a hole that was maybe some two feet all the way around piercing the stone. It sat in a bowl shaped dip, where he'd been sitting and had melted the crystal around him, and was, perhaps, just wide enough for them to fit through. That was, if they needed to fit through it.

Glancing over at Lightning, Hope saw that though she stared at the hole, her expression seemed distant. Distracted. It was no state to be in when considering their mission, but he found that he was easily able to forgive such behavior, at least of her. Mostly because he blamed himself. He was the one taking away from her focus, he saw that now.

Every time they touched, her reaction became more severe. He wished that he could see what was going through her head, but to ask would be out of line, so he'd simply remain silent on the subject.

Turning away from her, he descended down into the bowl he'd melted into the crystal. Making sure to steady himself, he crouched down at the edge of the hole, reaching out a hand to catch himself on the lip. Bending forward, he looked down, his eyes searching the terrain below.

"Lightning," he said her name quietly, forced into drawing her attention. "I think we've found our monster." They were some ten to fifteen stories above it, but the creature was still plain as day. It lay curled up on a crystal island, its blue, scaly body seeming to thrum. To Hope, it appeared to be some sort of serpent like snake, but with extremely muscular front legs that he could see curled up under its body. And it was huge, more than capable of swallowing the outpost tower.

It was surrounded in protruding, glowing crystal, a pool of shallow water trapping the pedestal where it sat. There were streams of ocean water trickling in from the deep cavern walls. It sat below sea-level, but because of the cave walls, and that all the tunnels probably went up above before opening into the den, it was open and secluded. The perfect place for a creature that wanted to remain undiscovered. That was, so long as the pesky humans above didn't keep digging. That was why it had attacked them, warning them away. And it'd do so again until every single one of them was gone. Protecting it's home was the most important and it'd wage war on the world if it had to.

Lightning slid down into the bowl next to him, her focus back and her eyes calculating as she stared down at the enormous beast. Both of them were thinking through the most logical ways to go about disposing of the monster. Whether it was merely protecting its home or not, it was a threat that they couldn't let be. The monsters on Pulse weren't forgiving and, if anything, were known for coming back again and again.

They had to dispose of it.

"It doesn't appear to have wings," Lightning murmured. "Though, considering how the cave is designed and the fact that it came up and out of the ground to destroy the outpost, it must be extremely good at climbing."

"And digging," Hope added.

"Our safest bet will be to remain along the upper walls," she continued. "If it can't fly, then it'll have to cross the distance of the cave on foot to get to us." In other words, space was their advantage.

"We should station ourselves on opposite sides of the cave," Hope concluded. "Flank and attack from both sides. That should keep it running back and forth." Or at least focused on only one person, leaving the other to deal the damage.

"Then let's go," Lightning nodded once, the two of them snapping their fingers in unison. They activated the same climbing mech they'd used on the cliff side and Hope, since he was closest to the hole, was he first to wedge his way out. Hanging upside-down, he crawled across the ceiling like some kind of deranged arachnid. He headed to one side, fully confident that Lightning was on her way towards the other.

Pushing his body to move both silently and swiftly, he made sure to remain at the back of the creature's head, watching it intently the whole way. Eventually, because what might have been seconds or minutes felt like an eternity, he found himself on the far edge of the cave. Crawling down the side, he positioned himself behind a protruding crystal, ignoring the way his heart pounded as he glanced around for Lightning.

She was directly across from him, having found refuge behind a similarly formed crystal to the one he now hid behind. Mirror images of each other, they pulled their gunblades from their sheaths and, keeping the blades folded in, took aim at the monster's head.

If the plan could go perfectly, they'd hit right on target and take it out with little to no effort. But if Hope had learned anything in the Survey Core, it was that monsters tended to be as difficult to kill as possible.

Nodding once to Lightning, they both took aim, making final preparations for their preemptive, before pulling back the triggers.

They fired, the sound of the guns going off echoing and bouncing off the crystal walls. And their aim, well, it'd been perfect. Their shots fired through the air faster than the creature could react. And as the bullets bounced harmlessly off the side of it's head, both Lightning and Hope sighed in exasperation.

Bolt upright, the monster hissed, baring its glistening crystal teeth, which were probably about the length of Hope's leg, as it whipped its head around, searching for them. And as it did, its entire, blue scaled body was unfolded, the sharpened spikes on it's back rising in anger.

It was huge, probably some one-hundred and fifty feet long. And it's arms, it only had two at the front of its body, were rippling with muscle. The talons at the end were sharpened and shaped like spades. The perfect tools for tunneling.

Ducking back behind the crystal, Hope kept his eyes trained on the creature, knowing it was only a matter of time before it spotted one of them. Their bullets had bounced off its scales as if they'd been mere pebbles, which meant that their blades would be useless as well. They'd have to find a weakness.

Roaring in frustration that it couldn't find the things that had tried to spear it in the face, the monster stomped its front legs, cracking the crystal island beneath its feet. Rearing back, it sucked in a great breath before spitting it across the cave. And as it did, a great harpoon of glowing energy seared through the air, heading in Hope's general direction. Eyes widening, he pounced from behind the crystal just as the creature's breath shattered it. Vaulting across the top of the cave, he watched as, in the place where he'd just been, a new batch of small crystals now sat. The result of the monster's attack.

"Well, that explains a lot…" her muttered to himself as he continued to crawl across the crystal, the result of the monster below him. Unfortunately however, he knew he'd been spotted, his escape followed by the monster as it turned to watch him, screaming in outrage.

Hissing back, it spit at him again. And again and again, following his movements and shattering crystals behind him only to form smaller ones it their wake. If he stopped, he'd be impaled by the attack, so he just had to keep moving. Besides, if he was distracting it, then perhaps that'd give Lightning enough time to come up with a plan. He couldn't very well focus on such things when he was running for his life.

Ignoring the way his heart beat in his chest and the sweat that seeped from his contracting muscles, Hope cursed that he'd lost so much energy breaking into the lair. He'd be run dry much faster than normal.

He couldn't afford to keep crawling. He had to run. Being on all fours was safer, but it was slower. Pushing himself up off his hands, he grabbed his gunblade with his now free hold as his feet started into the dash. He was still upside-down, sprinting across the ceiling and around or over protruding crystals, but he was now able to _move_.

It was riskier this way. He wasn't nearly as secure with only two limbs holding him down, and if he didn't keep the correct rhythm, making sure one leg was attached to the crystal at all times, he'd fall, plummeting down with the gracious assistance of gravity.

But now, aim taken, he was able to at least fire back.

Ignoring the way his blood rushed to his head, how his entire center was totally reversed, he pursed his lips and pulled the trigger. He knew the bullets weren't going to penetrate the creature's hide, but if he could lure it into doing something else other than firing at him, then perhaps he'd be able to find a weakness. This constant crystal throwing wasn't getting him anywhere.

And as the bullets made contact, they ricocheted off like pebbles on metal. The shots even made a grating twanging noise as they did. But Hope kept running the whole time, casting out shots and making sure he avoided the fly-aways. His actions, the fact that someone so small and seemingly insignificant as himself would dare go up against such a great beast, enraged it further.

Taking in a deep breath, it allowed the crystal breath to shoot again from its mouth, but this time it came at a constant, steady spray. And Hope, eyes widening, knew he wouldn't be able to avoid it. Dodging individual shots was one thing, but a relentless spray would be able to catch up to him with the mere twitch of the creature's head.

He had to think of something. Quickly.

But he knew he had only seconds and there were no plans coming to mind that could possibly stand a chance against the liquid crystal coming his way. Pulling his head back, he glanced down, at how far below the cavern bottom stretched.

He had only seconds to act.

Seconds to fall.

Pulling both his feet from the ceiling, he sheathed his gunblade at the same time. Feeling the air tugging at his clothes, at his skin, he fell just fast enough to avoid the searing onslaught of the monster's attack directly above him.

Reaching out, he grabbed hold of a crystal shard striking out from the wall. It was large, as the others were, and his hand wrapped around only a fourth of it, but with his mech in place, he was able to hold tight even as his body threw him down and tried to rip him free.

He felt his shoulder crack, a gripping pain flashing across his arm as his body got whiplash from the severe landing. He held back crying out, biting his lip and drawing blood. He knew what the pain meant, what it felt like to have his shoulder ripped out of the socket. And as he hung from the crystal, barely hanging on with the help of the climbing mech, he heard a crackling snap above his head.

Glancing up, he saw that a broken and shattered crystal was falling towards him, the result of the serpent's previous attack. Gulping, he knew that his only chance was to let go. To somehow get to the ground first and attempt to get out of the way.

Releasing his grip, he was falling once again. Ignoring the pain in his shoulder, he clenched his jaw together in determination before thrusting his left arm, his good arm, out before him. Snapping his fingers, he overrode the climbing mech with the gravity defying type that he used to land. Such actions weren't advised, that was, initiating one mech while another was still in use, at least, if they weren't supposed to be used together, weren't compatible. It sent a painful shock through his whole body, causing him to spasm in midair, but had no choice but to pull through it.

He wasn't used to landing with his left arm. Had it been his right, he would have easily bounded forward as usual, but the act was clumsy with his untrained limb. He landed, the energy softening his landing, but when he tried to throw himself into standing, he was off balance and ended up tumbling forward instead.

Landing harshly on his tailbone, he ignored the cracking of his back as he pushed his aching muscles into standing. Pumping his legs forward with strength and energy they didn't have, he didn't bother looking back to see if he'd cleared the crash site. It wouldn't matter. Either he'd made it or he hadn't, simple as that.

And as he registered the deafening crash of shattering crystal behind him, he knew he'd made it. Just barely that was. Zipping past his feet were shards of the glowing blue stone, as few pieces whizzing by his head and slapping against his protective jacket and pants.

Run.

Now it was time to glance over his shoulder. Not for falling debris, but for a certain, rather large monster. And as he'd predicted from the way the crystal vibrated beneath his feet, it was stomping after him, roaring in further outrage that yet the ant invading its nest had gotten away.

Splashing through the shallow pool surrounding the island, Hope caught sight of the creature charging after him for only a second before he was glancing around otherwise, searching for something, anything, that could either dispose of the monster or at least buy him some time.

Heading towards the middle of the cavern, he caught sight of a humongous, sparkling crystal hanging directly above. It was larger than any he'd seen yet and, contemplating it for only a moment longer, he found an idea forming swiftly in his mind. There was only one problem.

Lightning had to have the same idea.

He didn't know where she was, but he knew she was watching. Hopefully, as he headed towards the middle of the lair, she'd see his plan. He had no way to get it to her, no way to tell her. His only chance was that their minds were both well trained enough to see what needed to be done. Because otherwise, he feared he was done for.

The monster was catching up to him and if he didn't lose it soon, it'd need only reach out and grab him.

Charging forward, he ignored every throbbing, painful ache on his body and, arm limp at his side, aimed for his target. He didn't bother glancing around otherwise, to look at the monster or possibly spot Lighting. This was his chance and, so long as his partner could be on the same page, he wasn't going to pass it up.

Splashing out of the shallow pool, he sprinted his dripping feet across the center island, only one thing going in and out of his mind.

Run, run, _run_!

Lungs burning, face brimming with sweat, he commanded his body to do as told, to ignore the spaghetti strength that wanted to take over. And as he sprinted beneath that center crystal hanging from ceiling, past the middle of the cave, he heard an ear shattering crackle echo above his head.

He managed a small smile.

The sound of Lightning.

He didn't have to look back to know what was happening. The crystal above had been struck with one of the fiercest lightning spells that any of them had conjured. No, Light wasn't gifted with magic, but given desperation and time, two things he'd tried to supply her, and she could pack a pretty good punch.

A big enough punch to send that ginormous crystal crashing from the ceiling just in time to crush the monster running beneath.

The quake as it split the floor was so intense that it knocked Hope off his feet, sending him tumbling into the water pool. He knew he hadn't been moving fast enough to have completely avoided the debris. Submerged in the shallow pool, he felt heavy fragments of stone bombarding him, knocking him further under.

But none of it was heavy enough to keep him down long. Pushing himself up, he tried to free himself, but was surprised when he was pinned to the ground. His jacket had been impaled and was speared to the cavern floor. Though he really couldn't complain. It could have been him and not his jacket that had suffered the crystal shard's damage, so he didn't really bother worrying over it.

Shaking out of his jacket, he gasped as he was finally able to stand, the water barely coming up to his calf as he whipped around to see the damage that had been done.

He was just in time to see Lightning dropping from the ceiling, her gunblade in hand. Landing with the help of her mech, she vaulted from the ground to the head of the monster, which was growling and spitting in outrage at having been pinned so beneath its own creation.

Running up to it without a single drop of fear, Lighting drew her blade upwards before jumping. Two hands on the hilt, she bent her legs as she soared, putting as much force behind the impending blow as she could.

Teeth gritted, she sent the edge of her weapon into the serpent's shocked blue eye, the entirety of her gunblade as well as half of both her arms imbedding themselves in the creatures skull. It cried out in agony, Lightning pushing harder as she ran her blade through the monster's brain.

As she delivered the final blow.

Screaming for only a few seconds longer, the creature eventually gurgled into silence, its body falling still as a disgusting blue ooze seeped from the wound where Lightning was still shoulder deep in skull.

Yanking her arms from the eye, she stumbled backwards, the blue blood coating her jacket. But she didn't care, her lungs heaving with Hope's as they waited for the monster's final moments to disappear.

Within seconds, the corpse was turned to dust, dissolving before their eyes.

Gone.

And with it came rushing back ever injury Hope had sustained in the short time he'd been running, and falling, for his life. Teeth clenched together, he reached up and grabbed his dislocated shoulder, holding it as he quickly turned, glancing around.

A cure spell wouldn't help this. No, restoration magic did just that. It regenerated skin, muscle, bone even if the caster was good enough, but it couldn't move what was already there. He'd be able to ease the pain later, but putting his shoulder back into place had to be done the old fashioned way.

With a wall. Or… a very sturdy crystal.

Sloshing his way through the water, Hope hunkered over to one of the many huge crystals striking up from the ground. Getting right up next to it, he didn't even hesitate before, using all the strength he could muster, he released his shoulder and slammed it into the crystal. He smashed his whole body into it, involuntary tears streaking down his cheeks as he felt the agonizing slide as his shoulder cracked back into place.

The pain echoed across his whole body, his vision fading only quickly as he pushed himself away from the crystal. Reaching up once again, he cradled his shoulder as he stumbled through the water, not exactly sure where he was headed, but subconsciously convinced that the further he got, the more safe from the agony he'd become.

Only after some ten seconds of pacing, of drinking up the throbbing pain, did he finally reach the thought of using magic. Stopping, he took a few heaving breaths before attempting a simple cure spell.

But there was no energy left. He could conjure nothing.

His exhaustion finally seeped in next to the ache, the two feelings rising in junction, weighing him down. His feet fell out from beneath him and his body splashed into the pool, his head hanging low.

Yet the sound of footsteps swishing through water drew his attention back, his eyes ever so slowly drawn upwards. And standing there, staring down at him, was Lightning. Her expression was blank, her lips pursed, but despite how unreadable she was, Hope could see the paleness to her complexion. The anxiety in her blue eyes.

He managed a small smile. "If you're going to help me," he started, assuming that was why she'd approached him, "then take off that jacket. You stink." The one still soaked in the monster's blood. Why the stuff didn't dissolve when the body did, they'd never know. It was the same with all monsters. If the blood had left the body, it was a stuck-on nuisance.

Lightning didn't respond at first, just kept staring down at him, and Hope eventually looked away, too tired to care much about her thoughts. Little did he know, all her energy was focused on him, on what he'd just done.

The image of him running across the cavern, death at his heels, was imprinted on her brain. His back to her, the distance he'd created between them, all of it was so familiar. And then the full assault of helplessness. Of knowing that he was leaving the safety she could provide and there was nothing she could do about it.

_"That's not fair Light!" Hope stated heatedly, his green eyes aglow with rage. "You can't decide that for m-"_

_ "This discussion is over," Lightning replied simply, her eyes trained on her mail, which she was rifling through at her kitchen counter. "If you apply of for any pre-recruitment classes, I'll take you out of them. That simple." She had enough clout to do so. _

_ "You can't do that!" Hope objected. "It's my choice and-"_

_ "You're only fifteen Hope," she snapped, her hands lying flat on the counter. "You don't need to take any-"_

_ "The earlier I start, the better off I'll be when I turn eighteen. By not allowing me to take those classes, you're just postponing the inevitable. I'm going to join whether-" "Not if I can help it," Lightning snapped. "There are enough recruits in the Guardian Core. It's the last thing you should be considering for your future. You should be focusing on school, not the military." Finally turning, she cast him a scolding eye. _

_ "I want to join the military," he replied, not at all fazed by her expression. If anything, if only irritated him more. "Why is it that it was good enough for you, but isn't for me? I'm fully capable-"_

_ "You can do better Hope," Lightning replied testily. "I joined the military out of desperation. But you have the support of your father and a fresh start, just like all the teenagers at your school. Don't throw that away on-" _

_ "I'm not like the other teenagers at my school," he interrupted. "How long is it going to take you to understand that? I have the skills and the discipline to join the Guardian Core, and if I take these classes beforehand, I'll be able to accelerate my training even more. Within six months, I could be flying out with you and Snow and-"_

_ "I won't allow it," Lightning stated firmly. _

_ "__**Fine**__," Hope replied, his voice echoing of a snarl. "Have it your way." Without casting her another look, he turned on his heel and marched out of the room. A few seconds later, Lightning heard the sound of her front door clicking closed. She was alone. _

_ Huffing, she crossed her arms over her chest, staring at the door where she'd watched Hope walk away. Little did she knew, it'd be the last time she saw him._

Shaking her head, Lightning tried to rid herself of the thought, but still the image of him walking away, of him running, wouldn't leave her. The echo of that last moment, of what could have been Thunder Sorrow's last moment, they meshed together in her head. More than anything, she found that she was confused.

And if Lightning hated anything, she hated being confused.

She needed to put her focus elsewhere.

Dragging as much of her mind back to reality as she could, she blinked before finally moving into action. Reaching up, she unzipped her jacket, which truly did smell horrendous, before slipping it off. Tossing it as far away as she could, it landed with a plop in the water.

Wasting no time, she closed the remaining distance between herself and her partner before bending down next to him. Summoning what little was left of her own meager strength, she called forth her healing spell again.

Watching her, Hope allowed his hand to fall from his shoulder as she placed her own in its place. He immediately began to feel the soothing relief of her spell, his eyes closing as he released a sigh. Slowly, she repaired the damage that had been done, a luxury that only the l'Cie were granted. Had they been anyone else, he'd have had to go through months of rehabilitation, maybe even surgery. But after only a few minutes, he knew he'd be as good as new.

The abilities of super soldiers.

Allowing her hands to fall away, Lightning stared at his shoulder for a moment, as if contemplating her work, before pursing her lips and forcing her tired legs back into standing. Watching her, Hope remained sitting for only a second longer before he too stood, his body objecting the entire way. But the mission was almost over. All they had to do was get out and go home.

"I bet that's the tunnel that leads up to where the outpost used to be," Lightning explained as she walked across the now quiet cavern, her eyes trained on a hole some ways to the left. Hope followed behind her, his head turned up as he considered the same thing. Compared to the tunnel they'd come through, this one looked relatively empty, only tiny patches of crystal seen glowing at the entrance. Which meant, logically, that it must be a relatively new addition. And by the looks of it, it headed straight up. They could even see a slight sliver of daylight showing through, which was a relieving prospect to both of them.

"Then let's get out of here," Hope decided. Lightning nodded in agreement. Together, they snapped their fingers, initiating their climbing mechs once again.

Or at least trying to.

"Oh c'mon…" Hope muttered as he snapped his fingers again, but still got no response. He did it a few more times, but still the same result. They were both able to come to the identical conclusion. During all his falling, running, and tumbling, he'd damaged his mech.

The icing on top of the cake.

Lightning, feeling the familiar tingle of her own mech in action, pursed her lips as she considered the situation. There wasn't a monster anymore, so she supposed she could go and then come back and get him, but she'd been trained with the strict idea that no one was left behind. Besides, for all they knew, there could be something else, another of the same monster, that lived there and just hadn't come home yet. She couldn't risk leaving him in an unfamiliar environment.

She _wouldn't_.

"I'll carry you," she decided, her arms crossing over her chest. Cocking a single eyebrow, Hope cast her a skeptical look. He knew she was strong, but he doubted she could carry his bulk all the way up a tunnel while attempting to climb at the same time. He wasn't exactly a small person.

"Not literally," she added, catching onto his thought process. "The mech can support two people." Eyes narrowing, Hope slowly nodded, not exactly sure how she planned to go about this, but giving her the benefit of the doubt.

Lightning, however, had turned away, glancing up at the wall before them. The tunnel out of the cavern was right above their head, which meant it was basically a straight shot up. All she had to do was figure out the best way to… attach them.

Abruptly, she realized how bad of an idea this had become.

"Well," Hope assumed her silence meant she was dealing with the same predicament he was, that being how they were going to go about this whole thing. "If you're the one climbing, then I should be able to… match your posture and basically…" Spoon her up the side of the cave.

Yes, now he too saw how uncomfortable this could become. The only logical way for this to work was for him to come up behind her and place his hands over hers, submerging his palms in the same energy force so that he too could draw from it. He could do the same thing with his feet if he placed them beneath her own. And because he was taller, he shouldn't have a problem molding to the outside of her body.

Such a predicament would be awkward for anyone, yet Hope realized that it'd be especially so for the two of them. It was only during that very day that he and Lightning had even physically touched each other since he'd come back, and that was easily excused as a professional gesture.

Then again, this could be too, but it was going to be hard to see it that way when Lightning was practically sitting in his lap as they scaled up the side of a cave together. It wasn't himself that Hope was worried about however, but Lightning. Only the day before she'd been unable to even open the door to him. And now they'd have to…

Maybe he should just stay and wait to be picked up.

Lightning took a deep breath, forcing her resolve. She didn't know the man that was with her; he was a stranger. So long as she kept that in mind, then there shouldn't be any problems. She was a professional. They were _both_ professionals.

As soldiers, they had no choice but to handle the situation as expected.

"Let's go," Lightning barked the order, apparently deeming what little conversation they'd had about the idea over with. Approaching the wall, she placed her hands against the shining stone, pursed her lips, and waited.

Hope, watching her, knew he had to act quickly, if only to prevent the situation from becoming any more awkward than it already was. Biting his bottom lip as he approached her, he felt extremely juvenile. He was a mature adult, which meant he was more than capable of handling this. The last thing he needed Lightning to think was that he was some sort of teenager in a grown body. A man-child.

Shoulders dropping, he silently rolled his eyes before finally giving in. Not that doing so was necessarily easy. Even as he raised his arms up behind her, he felt his nerves jumping with anxiety. He tried to shake the feeling, but the negative excitement wouldn't die down.

Wrapping his arms around her, he at first attempted to avoid touching her as much as possible, but knew as his hands drew closer to her that it'd be impossible. So, keeping his breathing at a minimum, he laid his fingers over hers, feeling the energy of the mech beginning to flow through his body.

But the only way to keep the energy initialized was for him to fully attach himself to a solid surface, so he relaxed his hands atop her own, his fingers twined between hers. He gained leverage against both the cavern wall with the tips of his fingers as well as the smooth skin at the back of her hands. And as he fully conformed to the position, his arms ran parallel to hers, their bare skin brushing together. The sweat from the battle before had cooled in the damp air, leaving their flesh salted and dry, but creating friction nonetheless.

The distance between them had been closed, Hope silently gulping as his chest found her back, which went rigid as he enclosed himself around her. The top of her head was just at his chin level, the smell of her pink hair strong as he breathed. That familiar scent of jasmine caught by the setting sun. Interwoven with the wind; strong, even, yet feminine. Something he'd never forgotten.

Turning his chin to the left, he aligned his head beside hers, trying to make this extremely uncomfortable experience as tolerable as possible, which meant he needed to _not_ be breathing on her hair. He wondered, actually, if Lightning was going to be able to go through with this. Though they both tried to excuse what was happening with professionalism, the envelope was being pushed. And it didn't take much to send Lightning near the edge when it came to him.

Much like he was, she was tense with pent up apprehension, her whole body screaming it even as they came together. She tried to tell herself that this man was someone she didn't know, this Thunder Sorrow, but even as his hands came up and over her own, she felt that familiar grip that had sent her spiraling into her past.

But no, those hands, his arms, the feeling of his muscular chest breathing against her spine, it didn't fit the Hope she remembered. It was all so familiar yet completely foreign, leaving her continually confused.

She just had to push through it.

Satisfied that they were both connected through the mech, Lightning took a deep breath before setting her muscles and moving her hand upwards on the wall. The one atop hers, _his_, moved easily along, not at all dragging as she began to scale upwards. And as her feet moved up and attached themselves to the wall, she felt her partner's move up underneath, his legs coming beneath her own to climb with her.

As expected, when they left the ground entirely, she was cradled in his lap, the force of his legs pushing hers upwards, though helpful, only causing her confusion to blossom further.

Those hands, they felt like Hope's. The way he was breathing, she recognized it, but those solid legs against her own, muscled and unyielding, and that broad chest. Those were the features of Thunder, not the boy she'd known. Yet at the same time, that familiar smell of spring, of the open air and fresh starts, that was Hope. That was what he'd brought along when he'd used to burst inside her apartment or her office. And that was what crept up behind her now. But it came from what felt like a different place, a different form.

From a _man_.

Someone who was considerably larger than her; who was able to engulf her fully in his embrace. Whose body, when conformed to hers, fit in ways that she found both uncomfortable but… desired as well. Because his muscles moved with a steady maturity; with a grace that was only acquired with age. His body forming to hers… it was a feeling she hadn't been privy to in… over a year. Those masculine movements that spoke of more than mere work; of experience and… knowledge.

No! This was Hope! Just a boy.

Wait, no, that wasn't right either. He was Thunder Sorrow. Hope was gone, that's what she had to keep telling herself. The man with her was simply that, no one else. Yet even so, the tightening in her stomach made her want to reject that idea. Wanted her to see him as Hope instead.

Her two biggest fears were playing against each other, bouncing back and forth and torturing her with confusion she didn't understand.

Her apparent attraction to the man with her and the idea that the same person was also Hope, the boy that had been her best friend. He couldn't be both a man and that boy, but she didn't want either one! Yet it was impossible to get around considering one or the other.

If he was Hope, then she had to consider all the time she'd lost, how different he'd become. How betrayed she was by how he'd acted. All of which she didn't want to face because doing so would mean she'd have to admit to the fact that he'd grown up.

Grown up into the man she now found was sending inappropriate, sharp throbs through her whole body with each step they took up the wall. But that wasn't acceptable either because that would mean she was attracted to him. She was attracted to Thunder Sorrow.

And the only way to somehow be rid of that feeling was to see him as Hope, right? Because having such feelings for the boy that was so much younger than her was totally prohibited, wasn't it? So he was Thunder Sorrow, whom she hated which meant she couldn't be attracted to him. Yet he was stranger, so it was okay.

But he smelled so much like Hope, and his hands…

Hope's hands, they felt so secure gripping her own. Just like his legs beneath her seemed to cradle her, his powerful arms surrounding her. It was all so unexpectedly intoxicating.

But, no, this was Hope. She was attracted to Hope?

She was so confused…

Despite how she tried, she couldn't completely hide her discomfort. Her tense posture was obvious, which only made her companion that much more uneasy. Not that he needed her assistance in feeling so.

Okay, he could be honest with himself. Perhaps in doing so, he could somehow come to terms with what was happening.

When he'd been fourteen, fifteen years old, he hadn't known what to make of the physical longings he'd held towards Lightning. He'd been able to more successfully disregard them because he hadn't known what to expect. But age and experience added wisdom as well as a certain amount of expectation to the desires he hadn't been able to completely ignore even in the ignorance of his mid-teens.

Yes, there'd been many a nights when he'd thought of her. When he'd been with someone else and been plagued by her. Wondering into the taste of that which he'd never had, but always wanted.

And now she was sitting his lap, his fingers tangled with hers as she moved her hips one way and then another against his lap. He could make out the smoothness of her skin and he wanted nothing more than to run the back of his hand up her arm, down her back pressed up against his chest. To grip her defined thigh against his palm.

He had to purse his lips against his innate, carnal need to meet her movements instead of conform to them.

It was time to think of something else. Anything but this.

The monster; the blood. The fighting. Him and Lightning fighting.

No, stay away from the subject of Light.

Him and the director fighting. The director of the GC arguing with the director of the SC. Getting into trouble for defending his friends. Perhaps losing his job, his rank, everything. Okay, so that was a downer, but not quite there.

Coming home. The awkwardness of coming home. Talking to his father. Talking his friends. Sazh, Serah, Snow. Lightning. NO! Serah and Snow. Serah and Snow being married. Serah and Snow behind closed doors. Serah and Snow with the doors open.

_Snow naked_.

Yup, that was definitely killing it.

Eyes wide and blinking, he tried to rid himself of the horrible image while at the same time keeping it there to cure his current predicament. It was a horrific tug and pull, but if the fight would keep him grounded, then he'd be more than happy to deal with it. Rather that than deal with the embarrassment of…

Think of Snow!

Withholding a pained groan, Hope glanced upwards, more than thankful to see that the light of day was growing brighter and brighter. The trip out was to be considerably shorter than their journey in; no twists and turns, or oceans, to navigate. Just a straight shot up.

Up…

_Snow, Snow, Snow_!

To say that Hope was relieved when they finally reached the end of the tunnel could be reasoned to be something of an understatement. They crawled up out into the day, somewhat awkwardly due to the change of position, before promptly separating. The mech seemed to suction apart as Hope disentangled himself from Light, who was standing, her back to him.

Hands and knees on the cracked earth, Hope stared down for only a moment before following his partner into the upright position. Patting down his clothes, he didn't turn to her, the both of them back to back as their eyes drifted across the grassy plateau. The sea air could be felt wafting in from the sea beyond, the airship parked some half a mile down the cliff edge.

Closing his eyes for only a moment, Hope breathed in the salty breeze, his hair blowing around his forehead and chilling his skin where he'd previously been sweating. Above them, the sun was just beginning to sink into afternoon, seeming to erase the remnants of the mission with its glowing rays. Yet only so much could be undone.

Some experiences, memories, remained stuck on no matter how promising the day.

"I don't know who you are anymore." Her voice was soft yet firm, determined perhaps that, despite her confusion, she'd be certain in remaining steadfast.

Turning slowly, Hope furrowed his eyebrows as he took her in his sight. Her pink hair was drifting out above her shoulder, revealing her long neck. And her posture was stiff, her hands balled into fists at her sides, a motion that lasted only a moment before she brought them up and folded them across her chest.

"Yes you do," Hope replied softly. "I'm not a different person Light. Things have happened, sure, and I've changed some…" he smiled softly despite the fact that she couldn't see it. "But I'm not a stranger, at least, not if you don't want me to be."

She gave no response, spurring Hope to continue. If only to try and make something of her abrupt decision to communicate with him.

"And if a stranger is what you want, then that's fine too," he took a deep breath. "I can't claim not to be Hope anymore, but if getting to know Thunder is easier for you, then I can do that. I just need you to give me a chance, in any way you can. No promises made, no obligations expected.

"Whatever you need, you just have to tell me. And if that means…" a pause, "that I leave your life forever, then that's what I'll do. If that's… _really_… what you want. But you have to tell me Light, you have to… talk to me. Because I don't want to leave if that's not what you really want me to do."

"You'd go back, disappear again, if I asked you to?" she questioned, her head turning slightly so he could make out part of her profile. She didn't look at him however, seeming to be gazing off into the distance rather.

"Yes," Hope nodded. "I know I messed up by leaving," not to say he was the only one who mucked things up. "And if you honestly believe that the damage I did is irreparable, then I'll pay the price for that. I… I blame myself for some of the things you went through. I was selfish; I abandoned you even though you needed me. Maybe… maybe I was more immature than I thought, I don't know. Or just desperate. And maybe I'm being desperate and selfish now for thinking you needed me as much as I'm claiming you did.

"But if you don't, than that's okay too," he shrugged. "Yet, if you do, don't be swayed by… fear. Because if you want me to vanish, I will. And you'll never be able to find me again. I promise." Honestly, he didn't think she was better off without him. The damage he'd done when he'd left, the pain he'd caused, made it obvious, at least to him, how much she did in fact need him around. But perhaps, by taking a step back and giving her some space, by taking some of the pressure off, she'd be able to come to terms a little easier.

Anything to relieve some of that weight. Because he could see it pushing down on her even then, while watching her. The heaviness on her shoulders.

He waited then, some many seconds as silence dropped between them. And it continued on, even as she finally found the ability to move. No attempt to speak with him was made as she headed towards the airship, as he watched her walk away.

Eyes falling only momentarily to the ground at his feet, Hope took a deep breath before forcing his own feet forward. He made his way onwards.

He followed her.

* * *

**A/N:** HOMGOD! AN UPDATE! KGGBJKHBHGCKUGN! *runs back into cave from which she came before she gets stoned*

Anyway, there's the next chapter. Got a whole lot of action, some past memories, some sexual tension, and perhaps some progress at the end? Lightning went through quite a few emotional shifts in this chapter, so we'll see how she fairs in the next one.

Also, I hope people can pull away from this chapter with a better understanding of what Lightning went through. I know it was pretty controversial last chapter, but at least now you know, via Hope's conclusions, where I was coming from and how my logic came to be. And if you still disagree, well, sorry /shrug.

ANYWAY! Hope you all enjoyed! **PLEASE R&R!** I WANT TO KNOW YOUR THOUGHTS!


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